


Gray Space

by s_solo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Force Visions, Gray Jedi, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Intense Violence, Love/Hate, Major Characters deaths, Original character for comic relief (thanks Rhodes), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redemption, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-07 04:56:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13427259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_solo/pseuds/s_solo
Summary: “She had been unforgivably naïve and stupid to trust Kylo Ren. She now found it hard to imagine that any human decency or remorse remained inside that shell of a man. Kylo Ren had drawn her in and pretended to care. Even worse, he had made her care about him in return. And for that she hated him.”▪ ▪ ▪“He thought the Force visions had stopped. He detested the fact that he was still connected to her – a lowly scavenger and a traitor. But instantaneously, like a subconscious counterstrike, he recalled her wide eyes, wet with unshed tears, boring into him. For a moment his anger wavered and he longed to see her again. And for that weakness he despised himself.”In the aftermath of the battle on Crait, the pitiful remains of the Resistance struggles to rebuild their forces while the First Order gains more power throughout the galaxy. But in the midst of the chaos, two enemies discover that their parts in the story are more entwined than ever.There is no light without darkness. There is no peace without balance.





	1. Processing

Rey lurched forward in her seat as the _Millennium Falcon_ slipped out of hyperspace. In front of her loomed the gigantic silhouette of Dantooine. Chewie let out a soft growl as he redirected the controls and they sped towards the planet’s surface. Rey rubbed her eyes and wearily stood up, making her way to the ship’s main hold. Dotted around the _Falcon_ , curled up in chairs or huddled in corners, were the remains of the Resistance. Only the rhythmic sound of Finn’s snores could be hear above the hum of the engine.

Rey closed her eyes and attempted to steady her shallow breathing. She was still processing the day’s events. It could only have been that morning – or was it longer, she wasn’t sure – that she willingly entered the _Supremacy_ , flagship of the First Order fleet, to seek out Kylo Ren. Or Ben Solo, as she had believed at the time. She had stared into Kylo’s eyes as he murdered his master, the Supreme Leader, and then together they had decimated Snoke’s guards. She remembered vividly the desperate look on Kylo’s face when he held his hand out to her as an offering. But he wasn’t Ben Solo. There was no good left in him, after all. He had used her to usurp Snoke’s position as Supreme Leader of the First Order. She had fled from the ship with the broken halves of Luke’s lightsaber and rendezvoused with Chewie on the _Falcon_. They had rescued the meager remains of the Resistance from certain death at the hands of First Order, and were now fleeing to the safety of an abandoned rebel base on Dantooine.

Rey was wrenched from her thoughts by a loud roar from the cockpit: Chewie was preparing the _Falcon_ for landing. Rey opened her eyes and noticed General Organa nestled in a chair opposite Finn. She crossed the room and placed her hand on Leia’s shoulder, gently nudging her awake. Leia smiled sadly up at her and struggled to rise from the chair. She was shaky on her feet and had a cane in hand. Rey was sure she would hear that story in due time; for now, though, she jostled Finn and then called out to the rest of the crew.

“We’ve arrived on Dantooine unnoticed. Chewie is prepping to land,” she announced. The rebels stirred from their sleep and rose half-heatedly. She clearly wasn’t the only one with tragedy weighing on her mind.

As the others prepared for departure, Rey sank into a now-unoccupied seat and put her head in her hands. At once the face of Kylo Ren slid into her mind. She recalled his tortured expression when she had last looked down at his crouched figure on Crait. How she had seen him, she couldn’t explain, but there he was – connected to her through the Force. Not two days ago she had actively fostered this connection, seeking comfort from the monster himself. She swallowed back the bile rising in her throat. She had been unforgivably naïve and stupid to trust Kylo Ren. She now found it hard to imagine that any human decency or remorse remained inside that shell of a man. But hadn’t she felt goodness inside of him? Had she not touched his hand and seen his future in the light, a future that she herself longed for? With a pang of guilt she pushed those thoughts from her mind. Kylo Ren had drawn her in and pretended to care. Even worse, he had made her care about him in return. And for that she hated him.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Kylo Ren stormed off of his command ship and into the main hangar of the _Finalizer_ in a blind rage. Officers and stormtroopers peeled away before him in fear, careful to avoid his wrath. General Hux raced after him, bellowing insults and expletives.

“You arrogant child! You’re petulance has cost us a complete victory over the blasted Resistance! What right do you have to call yourself Supreme Leader?!”

Kylo turned on his heel and started towards Hux, who wavered for a moment before regaining his resolve. The two men stood inches apart, their chests heaving with each ragged breath.

“Luke Skywalker is dead. And the Resistance might as well be. Now watch your words or…”

“Or what?!” Hux interrupted, screaming, “You lay one finger on me and my troopers will ensure it is the last thing you do. You need my armies more than they need you, _Supreme Leader_.” The general spat the last two words with as much irony and contempt as he could muster. Violently, Hux was lifted off of his feet and he clawed furiously at his throat.

“I don’t need to lay a finger on you to make you suffer, General.” Kylo watched as Hux gasped in vain for air, slowly turning purple. Stormtroopers surrounded the pair with blasters raised, but none had the courage to pull the trigger. When Hux was on the edge of consciousness Kylo released his Force choke and the general collapsed to the ground, sucking in air. Hux glowered at Kylo from his crumpled position on the floor, equally humiliated and enraged.

“You’re dismissed, General,” Kylo growled, glaring back at Hux. Kylo slowly scanned the scene, scrutinizing each trooper that pointed their blaster at him. At once, the stormtroopers lowered their weapons and voices echoed through the hangar as its inhabitants returned to their assignments. Kylo spared a final sideways glance at Hux before marching off in the direction of his private quarters.

When Kylo reached his destination he wrenched open the door and slammed it behind him, eager to purge himself of the day’s filth. He stripped off his robes and flung them into a corner as he headed into the washroom and turned on the shower tap. He peeled off his pants and stepped in the water, wincing as the spray burned his fresh wounds.

_The traitor_ , he mused miserably as the water dripped down his back. Rey. The scavenger girl. They could have started a new empire together, but she had betrayed him. He thought back on the last few weeks. This Force connection, some contrivance of Snoke’s, had driven them together from a place of loneliness and doubt. Through Rey he had felt a renewed sense of purpose, a longing to become something more than Vader, even. She was the one person that understood his struggles; through her he felt a sense of…what? Peace? Maybe. But when the time came she turned out to be no different than his useless mother and his pathetic father. _I trusted her and she betrayed me_ , he thought, reigniting his temper. Kylo slammed his fists into the metal wall, lowered his head, and squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the thoughts. A mental image of his father, Han Solo, run through with a gleaming red saber, flashed unbidden before his eyes. He closed his eyes even tighter and a single tear rolled down his cheek, but was quickly washed away by the steaming water.

Kylo turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower. As he walked back into his room he made a mental note to alert the maintenance crew of the two new dents in his shower wall. Kylo stood in front of a big mirror next to his bunk and stared at his own reflection. The hideous scar that ran from his forehead to his chest served as a constant reminder of his own weakness. And now it also reminded him of the girl that had inflicted it…Rey. He despised her for her weakness, and yet she kept resurfacing in his subconscious. Kylo shook his head and straightened up, glaring at his own eyes in the mirror and making a silent vow: _I will not allow myself to fail again_.


	2. Rebuilding

“Communication systems are operational and the distress signals have been re-sent. We are still working on rebooting the old weapons systems, but we should be fully functional by mid-morning,” Lieutenant Connix reported to General Organa.

“Thank you, _Colonel_. Inform me immediately if we receive any responses from the outer rim territories.” Leia smiled warmly and nodded her head in dismissal.

Rey watched as the young officer smiled in return and quietly left the room.

“I guess everyone’s getting a promotion,” Leia said grimly, though she tried to hide the morbidity of her statement with a soft chuckle.

Rey noticed Poe shift uncomfortably in his chair and Finn emitted a hollow laugh. After the unprecedented deaths of all of the high-ranking leadership, aside from General Organa, the Resistance was struggling to adjust. They had arrived in Dantooine only two days ago to begin restoring the abandoned rebel base. Poe – Admiral Poe, now – had identified this base as their best hope of staying hidden from the First Order while the Resistance attempted to regroup and stabilize. Rey knew that Poe and Leia both held out hope that Resistance sympathizers from the outer rim planets would hear the distress signal and flock to Dantooine to join the movement. Until then, however, the rebels were left with dwindling supplies and a serious lack of equipment. Rey wasn’t sure how much longer the Resistance could survive.

“Rey,” Leia said softly, ripping her from her rumination. Rey looked around and saw with embarrassment that all eyes were on her. “It’s time to hear what happened on Ahch-To.”

Rey had been summoned to this meeting by Leia to discuss everything that happened since her departure from D’Qar. For the past two hours she and Chewie had sat quietly and listened as Leia, Finn and Poe recounted their adventures since Rey left. Rey had struggled to keep her face stony as Leia and Poe described Luke’s return and his violent duel with Kylo Ren. But the others had finished their stories and now it was her turn to explain. With a deep, steadying breath she began telling her version of the events, beginning with Luke’s reluctance to train her. She made sure to explain, in detail, Luke’s reasoning for abandoning the Jedi way. But when Rey got to Kylo’s part in the story, she paused. She was intensely ashamed of the Force connection that had brought her to trust Kylo Ren, and was not ready to reveal that secret. She ignored the pounding in her chest and continued:

“When Luke refused to train me I began to have…dreams,” Rey lied, “Force dreams, I think. In these dreams I saw Kylo Ren,” Rey whispered the last part, half hoping that no one would hear her words. But it didn’t go unnoticed; Leia’s eyes widened in surprise and Finn’s jaw muscles twitched at the mention of the Knight of Ren. Rey continued quickly, “But he wasn’t bad. I mean, he wasn’t all bad. I saw something in him…hope. I saw his future with the Resistance. I…I thought I could change him.”

Rey glanced around once more at the faces of her audience, wondering if they would believe her story without question. To her relief, they seemed to accept her Force dream narrative, so she pressed on.

“When I was sure that Luke was not going return with us on the _Falcon_ , I decided to confront Kylo Ren.” Rey hung her head and kept her eyes glued to the floor as she spoke. “I found my way onto the _Supremacy_ flagship and was immediately taken before Snoke. Kylo was ordered to kill me, but he used the opportunity to assassinate Snoke. I thought it was the light calling him, but I was mistaken. Once we had killed Snoke’s palace guards he tried to make me join him. I fought him off and escaped. Luke’s lightsaber was destroyed in the process.” Rey’s eyes remained fixed on the floor as the silence thickened around her. Her cheeks burned with shame and in that moment she hated herself for her foolishness. When she couldn’t bear the silence any longer, she added, “He used me to become the new Supreme Leader. I was stupid enough to let him. I’m so sorry.”

With that last admission Rey buried her face in her hands. At once she felt hands on her shoulders, comforting her.

“Rey, it’s not your fault,” Finn said softly.

“Yeah, if anything you helped our cause by killing Snoke,” Poe added. “Plus you saved our asses on Crait.”

“I should never have trusted him,” Rey whispered, unaffected by their reassurances.

“Rey, you can’t hold the weight of the Resistance on your shoulders. Nor can you hold yourself accountable for the actions of a man with evil intentions,” Leia said, sitting upright and staring intensely at Rey. “You aren’t the first person to be betrayed by Kylo Ren.”

Rey’s thoughts immediately jumped to Han Solo; she could see him standing on the bridge with his son, glowing red lightsaber piercing his chest. She shook away the ghastly images and considered Leia’s words carefully.

“The important thing now is healing,” Leia stated with finality; she was markedly ready to move on from the topic. “We must rebuild the Resistance from the ground up, and that won’t happen if we can’t let go of our past mistakes. If we stick together we will defeat the First Order.” When everyone mumbled their agreement, Leia added, “Now what are you waiting for? Get to work, comrades.” She nodded in dismissal.

Chewie, Finn and Poe rose from their chairs and filed out of the room in a hurry. Rey took her time getting up, and before she left the room she turned once more to Leia.

“General Organa, I know what I sensed in Kylo Ren. I felt goodness in him, and despite everything that’s happened I can’t deny that truth,” Rey spoke timidly, unsure of how the General would react.

Leia examined Rey with an impassive expression before responding coolly: “Ben Solo is lost. He has transformed fully into Kylo Ren. There is no hope of bringing him back and I won’t hear another word of it. I have suffered enough at his hands to know _that_ truth.”

Rey blinked rapidly; the harsh words stung and she instantly regretted her decision to confide in Leia. Seeing her wounded expression, Leia’s tone softened and she said, “I know it’s hard but you must move past this. It will do you no good to dwell on false hopes.”

“Thank you, General,” Rey responded quietly and turned towards the door. She slunk out of the room and kept walking until she found herself outside. She sat down with her back to an old, mossy tree and brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. For the first time since leaving Jakku she felt utterly and hopelessly alone.

 

 ▪ ▪ ▪

 

The door to the command bridge whirred open and General Hux marched into the room. Kylo Ren thrummed his fingers impatiently along the arm of the plush leather chair he occupied.

“Good news, General?” Kylo asked coldly.

Hux narrowed his eyes in anger at Kylo’s insubordination, but he responded nonetheless: “The probe droids have been dispatched, but we are yet to receive any leads on the location of the new Resistance base.”

Kylo exhaled sharply, not pleased with the information. “That is…disappointing.”

“It is only a matter of time before we discover their whereabouts. They cannot hide forever.”

“I am growing impatient, General,” Kylo said between clenched teeth, trying to reign in his temper. “Deploy troops to the outer rim. I want First Order occupation on every planet in the galaxy if that’s what it takes.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” Hux hissed resentfully. He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, leaving Kylo alone on the bridge.

Kylo noticed the muscles in his arms aching, and he looked down to find his hands clenched painfully tight into fists. He relaxed and flexed his fingers, drawing blood back into his hands. Kylo took a deep breath and tried to focus his thoughts. He knew he couldn’t play Hux’s game much longer; waiting around for news of the Resistance was unbearable. But he realized grimly that he had no other options. _Patience_ , he thought, _patience is the only way I will find the remains of the Resistance and…Rey._ She flashed once again across his mind and Kylo groaned in frustration. He stood up and crossed the room. He would not allow _her_ to distract him from his mission. With one last sobering breath Kylo strode from the room and set off to oversee preparations for troop deployment.


	3. Recurrence

Sweat poured down Kylo Ren’s face and into his eyes. Annoyed, he deactivated his lightsaber and wiped his brow with a gloved hand. He leaned against the wall, panting. Littered around the room were the smoldering remnants of what had been training dummies only half an hour ago. Chest heaving, Kylo couldn’t help but feel slightly better as he admired his work. _Nothing like annihilating inanimate objects to relieve a bit of stress_ , he mused sarcastically.

Suddenly, the room went quiet and a breeze swept through Kylo’s hair. He whipped around and there she was, sitting on the ground not three feet away. Her head jerked up and alarm was evident on her face. She jumped to her feet and staggered backwards into something Kylo couldn’t see – a tree or a wall, probably. The air was thick with silence as the pair stood facing each other, eyes locked, for what seemed to Kylo like an eternity. Finally, he spoke.

“Rey.”

“Don’t!” Rey spat with venom in her voice. Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared.

Sensing her anger, Kylo remembered his own and responded through gritted teeth: “Scavenger scum. I should have killed you when I had the chance.”

Rey’s eyes momentarily widened in shock before she regained her composure. “I hate you,” she whispered.

Kylo studied Rey, transfixed by the contempt in her voice and the tears welling in her eyes. He wondered if what he said were even true, and in that moment he knew it wasn’t. But he also knew with certainty that she _did_ mean what she said. He could feel the loathing radiating off of her in currents. For reasons beyond his knowledge it left him feeling resentful and oddly hollow.

“Rey, I…” he stammered, torn between anger and hurt.

Before he could formulate any meaningful sentiment, he noticed a door open in the corner of the room and three stormtroopers filed in. At once the air around him became stale and he heard the familiar humming of his ship. His head shot around to where Rey had been standing only moments before, but she was gone. The stormtroopers halted and watched as Supreme Leader Ren stared fiercely into the empty corner of the room. He growled in frustration and the soldiers flinched, wary of his infamous temper. They were relieved when Kylo Ren stormed past them and out of the training facility.

Once out of the room Kylo stopped and sank to his knees in the corridor. He roared loudly and beat his fist against the wall. He thought the Force visions had stopped. He detested the fact that he was still connected to _her_ – a lowly scavenger and a traitor. But instantaneously, like a subconscious counterstrike, he recalled her wide eyes, wet with unshed tears, boring into him. For a moment his anger wavered and he longed to see her again. And for that weakness he despised himself.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

The staff whirled through the air and made a dull _thunk_ as it struck a moss-covered tree trunk. With almost inhuman precision and speed, the staff continued to twist, stab and slice through the air, each time connecting soundly with its woody targets. Face red with exertion, Rey danced through the clearing, willing her arms to swing the staff faster and more powerfully with each move. She was still reeling from the incident three days ago, and every imaginary First Order soldier she struck down was a small comfort. It had been in this very clearing, during her daily mediation, that she had seen the monster. Luckily for him they had been interrupted…Rey wasn’t sure what she might have done to him if he had stuck around.

She pictured his face and funneled her rage into her training, urging her body to move faster and with more force. Her staff soared in an arc through the air and – BAM! The staff collided with an unexpected target and was wrenched from Rey’s hands. She hardly noticed her staff fall to the forest floor as she stood gaping at the man standing directly in front of her.

Kylo Ren blinked down at Rey, his arm still frozen in midair where he had deflected her staff. He was shirtless, clad only in tight, ankle-length black underwear. Rey took in his half-naked figure and flushed a deeper shade of red with a combination of embarrassment and renewed anger. Averting her gaze from his distractingly bare chest and form-fitting pants, Rey broke the silence.

“Leave me alone.”

“I can’t. I mean, I don’t know how to stop it,” Kylo responded.

“Well I suggest you find a way. I won’t have a treacherous leech like you stalking my every move.” Rey’s voice was fierce and challenging.

“Do you think I want this?! Trust me, I would rather not deal with it.”

“Oh, I know. You would rather I were dead.”

His eyes met Rey’s blazing glare and shame washed over him as he remember his words to her a few days ago. “I didn’t mean that,” he said. “I never wanted you to die.”

“What a loving sentiment, _Ben_ ,” she said his given name with contempt. “You never wanted me to die…gee, you’re a real hero.”

Kylo stared down at Rey, his face clouded with grief, his voice soft and pleading. “I wanted you alive…with me. I made that clear.”

“But at what cost?” Rey exclaimed. “You wanted me to turn my back on my friends!”

“I wanted you to let the past die! To start over and become who you were meant to be!”

“By letting the Resistance die at the hands of your soldiers!” Rey struggled to keep her voice even.

“Dammit, Rey! Forget your precious Resistance. This is so much bigger than them!” Kylo yelled at her, his anger overshadowing any guilt or compassion he had expressed only moments ago. “You treasured the lives of a few friends over the fate of the entire galaxy!”

“You asked me to betray the only family that I will ever have!”

“You had me!” Kylo bellowed, his voice thick with emotion. His words pierced the still air of the forest, echoing off the trees and ringing in their ears. The screaming was replaced by silence that hung over them like a cloud.

Rey stood breathless before him; tears flooded her eyes but she willed herself not to cry. Not to show weakness in front of him. She swallowed a lump in her throat and said, “I couldn’t sentence my friends to die. I don’t expect you to understand what loyalty feels like.”

“I would have been loyal to you. To building something more powerful than either of us alone. More powerful than any Jedi or Sith order that has ever existed.”

“How could I trust a murderer and a traitor?” Rey asked, though this time her voice was softer. “You murdered your father and you might as well have murdered Luke.”

“He tried to kill me as a child!”

“He made a lot of mistakes but he was a good man!”

“He was a coward who hid in the shadows and feared true power!” Kylo spat, his anger returning.

“He feared what you might become, and he was right!” Rey cried as her wrath echoed his.

“Luke Skywalker got what he deserved! I killed him and I would do it again!”

Rey advanced on Kylo and smacked him across the face with all the force she could muster. In that moment she hated him. He reacted quickly, grabbing her wrist and jerking it upwards violently until Rey cried out in pain.

In that instant everything changed. A warm tingling radiated from Rey’s wrist and down her arm where Kylo’s hand was still gripped tightly. She had felt this sensation only once before – when she and Kylo had touched hands in her hut on Ahch-To. Her eyes locked onto Kylo’s and she saw her surprise mirrored there. At once, a scene began to unfold before – or behind, she wasn’t sure – her eyes.

 

_Ben Solo stood on an elevated platform before hundreds of seated individuals, all dressed finely. Two representatives from each of countless planets: the Galactic Senate. Every human, humanoid and creature in the room was listening intently. They were deciding on whether to fund the creation of a new Clone army, like the one utilized in the Clone wars. Ben finished speaking and the majority of the Senators nodded and clapped in approval. He stepped down and she saw herself take the stage. Her speech was met with more assent and applause among the assemblers._

_The scene changed and Ben was now speaking to Finn – General Finn – who was overseeing the training of the new Clone troopers. The two men spoke amicably as Finn reported that by all standards the soldiers were progressing exceptionally well._

_Now Rey watched as she and Ben fought vigorously: Ben with his hilted red saber and Rey with a double-bladed weapon. But they weren’t really fighting…sparring, rather. They finished dueling when Rey had knocked the saber from Ben’s hand and pinned him on the floor with her saber. She offered him a hand and he got to his feet, grinning. He shoved her shoulder playfully and she smiled broadly in return. Without missing a beat, Ben summoned his saber to his hand and the pair eyed each other playfully before resuming the fight._

 

Rey blinked. She was back in her clearing, face-to-face with Kylo Ren, who still held her wrist tightly above her head. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and as she looked up into Kylo’s face she wondered if he had seen the same thing. What had it been, exactly? Not necessarily the future, she knew. The last time this happened her vision had not become reality. In fact, Kylo had seen an entirely different vision. But this time felt so real. This time she had experienced not only a physical manifestation of the vision, but also an overwhelming barrage of emotions. Triumph, elation, relief, gratification, passion, contentment, love. And on top of it all…balance. Another tear slid down her cheek as the warmth of the vision slipped away and she was left feeling hollow.

“Rey, did you…?” Kylo whispered. Rey’s eyes refocused and she realized the Kylo was staring intensely down at her.

“Yes.” The word was barely audible.

Kylo lowered the hand that held Rey’s wrist until her arm rested at her side. Then he moved his hand, painfully slowly, up her arm so that only his fingertips grazed her skin. Rey shivered under his touch. His fingers danced along her collarbone before coming to a rest under her jaw. His thumb reached out and wiped away the single teardrop that remained on her cheek.

“I…I don’t…” Rey stammered softly.

“That can be our future.”

“I don’t know, Ben. _Kylo_. I don’t know what – or who – to believe.”

“I felt balance, Rey. Something I’ve never had. You and I, together, can bring peace.”

“I said I don’t know,” Rey snapped. She pushed his hand away from her face and turned her back to him, fresh tears running down her cheeks.

“Rey!”

Her head shot up and scanned the clearing. That was Finn’s voice calling out from somewhere nearby. She looked back at where Kylo had been standing but he was gone. Vanished as quickly as he had come.

“Rey!” Finn’s voice called out once more. Rey quickly wiped her eyes on her sleeve and smiled weakly as Finn entered the clearing. “Rey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Finn started before noticing her red eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”

How could she answer that question? She was so far from okay. She had seen a future full of potential, but how was it possible? How could she trust a man that had betrayed his family? That had betrayed her? She just couldn’t accept that future. But a voice in the back of her head wanted to.

“I’m fine, Finn. Just tired myself out training,” she lied. When he eyed her suspiciously, she added, “I promise, I’m fine.” She flashed him the most sincere grin she could manage, and he seemed satisfied.

“Good, because dinner is served and I’m starving!” Finn said excitedly as he grabbed her arm and began pulling her out of the clearing towards the main compound.

Rey followed his lead, happy to have evaded Finn’s suspicions. Inside her head, though, a war was raging.


	4. Gray

A tall, cloaked figure stood alone in the observation deck staring out across the troops below. General Hux was deploying yet another battalion of stormtroopers to sweep yet another collection of star systems. So far the scattered armies had gathered not a single piece of information regarding the whereabouts of the remaining Resistance fighters. Every hour that passed without news was a slap in the face to the First Order. At the moment, though, their Supreme Leader was finding it difficult to concentrate on what now seemed like trivial affairs.

Kylo Ren grunted to himself in frustration and turned his back on the vast array of soldiers preparing to depart from the main hangar. He took a few steps away from the window and out of sight of the armies below. He could hardly bear to focus his attention on anything other than the vision he had seen nearly four days past. A vision that had overcome him with emotions he thought he had left behind long ago: acceptance, understanding, warmth, devotion. And, overwhelmingly, hope…what seemed like such a foreign concept had been there, laid out before him. A path he desperately wanted to take but wouldn’t dare go down without _her_. Rey. The scavenger girl from Jakku.

He had considered reaching out to her after their last interaction. In fact, in the past four days he had wanted nothing more than to stretch out through the Force and find her…talk to her. Discuss everything that they had seen and felt. Convince her that this was the only logical way forward. But he had restrained himself. He remembered the last time they had spoken, and the tears in her eyes as she had turned away from him. He knew that if she wanted to speak to him she would have found a way. She obviously wasn’t ready – or may never be ready – to even consider that future. And he sure as hell knew that nothing he could say or do would influence her when her mind was made up. If his time with her had taught him anything, it was that.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing, trying to restrain his conflicted emotions. _In, out…in, out…in, out…_ And at once the constant sound of scuffing boots and clacking armor from the busy hangar below disappeared. In its place was the soft, even sound of someone breathing nearby, and wind howling in the distance. Kylo opened his eyes and, sure enough, Rey was splayed out on a bed in front of him reading a dusty old book. She must have felt his presence because she instantly glanced up and then jumped to her feet at the sight of him. She hurriedly tucked the copper-colored book under her pillow and pivoted to face him.

“Ben!” she exclaimed in surprise. “Or Kylo? I don’t know what you want me to call you…”

“I guess that depends,” he responded calmly.

“On what?”

“On how you wish to proceed with this…with me.”

Rey dropped her gaze and fixed her eyes on the floor. Just as Kylo had feared, she obviously hadn’t changed her mind. He sighed and took a cautious step towards her.

“Rey, I can’t pretend like nothing happened. I know you saw what I saw, and I can only assume you felt what I felt. It was real. That future…it’s ours if we take it.”

After a long pause, Rey looked up at him with sad eyes. “Last time I had a vision like that it wasn’t real. I saw you turn to the light and I was wrong. I can’t make that mistake again.”

“It won’t be a mistake. I promise you that.”

“I want to trust you. I really do. But I don’t.” Her words were full of sincerity, and they stung all the more for it.

“And I’m sure I don’t deserve your trust yet,” he conceded, “but humor me for a moment. This is our one chance to make things right. It’s a concept I’ve been toying with for a while now, and our vision just confirms my intuition.”

“But I…” Rey began, but was swiftly interrupted.

“Listen, Rey. The Sith, the Empire, the First Order. The Jedi, the Rebellion, the Resistance. What do they all have in common?” Kylo paused, silently imploring Rey for an answer, but when she looked confused he pressed on. “For centuries these powerful orders have struggled for control over the galaxy. They have fostered a culture of war, turmoil and suffering. Not because they are inherently ‘good’ or ‘evil’, but because they have fixated on one side of the spectrum while completely ignoring the other. There is no balance. History has proved time and again that such systems cannot last!” As Kylo spoke he grew increasingly impassioned until he found himself shouting the last words. Rey’s eyes widened in response and she absorbed his every word. “Don’t you see? The Force is trying desperately to right itself while we play tug-of-war!” By the time he finished speaking Rey’s eyes were blazing, mirroring his excitement.

“It’s like Luke and Snoke said,” Rey chimed in, trying but failing to hide her eagerness. “Where the light grows, darkness must follow. The Force finds a way to balance the dark with the light.”

“Exactly,” Kylo breathed, relieved that she was catching on. “When I rose to power, so did you. It is the natural order of things. It has always been that way and will continue to be that way long after we are gone. Denial is futile. The only way to effect permanent change is to establish balance.”

Kylo could see the power of his words take effect on Rey. Her body shook visibly with both anticipation and apprehension. After a long pause she whispered, barely audible, “So you mean…”

“Yes. The First Order was born from the ashes of the Empire, and the Resistance rose to meet it. Peace is unattainable while they still exist.”

“Let the past die,” Rey murmured, repeating the words she had heard Kylo say months ago.

Kylo nodded gravely, knowing what those words meant to her. “If you still don’t believe it then look within yourself. There is light there, but there is also darkness. I can sense it in you even as we stand here. Luke Skywalker would have trained you to deny the dark side. To keep it hidden away. But power…true power…is derived from both sides of the Force.” He paused and took a deep breath, allowing Rey time to process his words. He studied her face but could no longer discern her reaction. Convinced that he could still persuade her, he continued. “The Force is not divided into ‘good’ and ‘evil’. The light and the dark are intertwined…inseparable. You cannot have one without the other, and you cannot have balance without both.”

Rey continued to stare blankly at Kylo. He was beginning to lose faith in his arguments when finally she spoke. “I can feel the truth in your words, but I don’t want to believe it. Once again you’re asking me to leave behind everything I care about...it’s too much.”

“I know the gravity of what I’m asking, but I need you to give me a chance,” he said hopefully. “Together we _can_ bring order to the galaxy. But we have to be strong enough to take the risk.”

“I just…I need time to process all of this,” Rey admitted softly. Kylo recognized the pain in her voice and he pitied her. He had no friends or loyalties left in the First Order. _If I did, would I feel as conflicted as she does?_

“Goodbye, Ben.”

Kylo was startled out of his thoughts by the curt farewell, but she was already gone. He cried out in frustration and punched the nearest wall with a gloved fist. But Rey’s last word floated back into his consciousness: Ben. She had called him Ben. He straightened up and let his anger wash away like the tides. That one word rang in his head and restored his dwindling hope. He would give her time, like she asked, but now he knew with certainty that Rey would join him when the time came. He closed his eyes and allowed himself the briefest moment of satisfaction.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

“So Rey, are you joining us tonight?” Rose asked cheerfully when she arrived at the table. She sat down opposite Rey and stared at her expectantly.

“I’m not sure,” Rey answered truthfully. “I really should be focusing on my training ri─”

“Boring!” Finn interrupted, but his rudeness was softened with a teasing smile. “You’re always training. Come hang out with us for once! Your beloved Jedi shit can wait until tomorrow.” He flashed a grin at Rey that she couldn’t help but return.

“You deliver a convincing argument, my friend.”

“Oh, and apparently Poe scored a few bottles of Corellian rum from some Dantari trader. So you really can’t say no,” Finn added, chuckling.

“Alright, alright! I fold. I’ll drop by,” Rey exclaimed in mock exasperation. Her concession was met with exaggerated hoots and hollers from around the table. As her comrades settled down and moved on to talking about the newest X-wing model, she became lost in her own thoughts, an occurrence that was not uncommon for her these days.

Rey had to admit that she hadn’t been the most exciting person to be around for the past few months. Since their arrival on Dantooine, Rey had largely sequestered herself from her friends in order to focus on her training. She became further isolated when her Force encounters with Kylo Ren grew more frequent, as she had not yet confided in anyone regarding her connection with the merciless leader of the First Order. _Somehow the topic never comes up naturally_ , she thought bitterly. And now, since her last conversation with Kylo – Ben – about their future, she was completely engrossed in _that_ predicament. When she held the fate of the entire galaxy in her hand, hanging out with her friends seemed selfish and…frivolous. _Maybe I_ should _be selfish for once_ , she considered as she sat watching Finn speak animatedly with a newly arrived Poe. _One night free from training and all thoughts of Ben Solo…sounds perfect_.

 

“Rey! Rey! Rey!” The group chanted as Rey tipped back two more shots of the foul-tasting liquor Finn had poured her. She grimaced and sputtered as she fought back the liquid that threatened to make a reappearance. Confident that it was settled in her stomach permanently, she raised an empty glass in the air and cheered. Her head was spinning after what had now been many hours of relentless drinking, but she was determined to do whatever it took to keep her mind off of _him_. _Shit!_ The one off-limits topic and her brain couldn’t help but go there. _Time to bolster my technique_. She called out for another round of drinks, which was met with more enthusiasm by her peers.

Two hours later she found herself sitting on the wet grass outside of the base’s main hangar. Rose sat huddled next to Finn, laughing at a private joke he had made. Poe and Kaydel Connix, seated across from Rey, were engaged in an intense debate about the origin of the phrase “moof-milker". Rey smiled as she studied each of her friends in turn.

Beside her, Chewbacca growled softly. “I know, Chewie,” she said, “I miss him too.” The somber, though not entirely sober, wookiee put his arm around Rey and voiced his sadness in guttural groans. She knew it was sentimental moments like this that made Chewie miss his best friend desperately. Rey’s thoughts flashed back once again to Han Solo’s untimely death. She discretely brushed a rogue tear from her cheek and laid her head on Chewbacca’s shoulder. As she sat there in silence, surrounded by her friends and comrades, Rey reflected on everything she had gained since leaving Jakku. She had gone from never having a single person to call “friend”, to having a family that she would risk her life to protect. _I love these people_ , she thought with surprise. _And it’s not just the liquor talking_ , she assured herself. She knew then with sobering certainty that she could never betray her friends. How then could she reconcile her loyalty to the Resistance with her desire for the future she had seen with Ben? A sudden thought struck her and left her with a shred of hope. _Maybe I don’t have to abandon them…maybe they will follow me?_

Unlikely as it seemed, she clung to that thought as she slowly made her way back to her private quarters. She was forced to cling to the wall for support every few steps, but eventually she stumbled into her room and collapsed face-first onto the bed. She lay in a tenuous state between wakefulness and sleep, still too drunk to think straight.

Her mind drifted idly to Kylo – _no, Ben_ , she corrected herself. She wondered what he was doing…if he was thinking about her. With only a minor pang of guilt – most certainly buffered by her blood alcohol level – she longed to see him again. To look at his face, marred by the scar she herself had given him. To hear his voice, deep and powerful yet full of pain and barely restrained emotion…

“Rey?” A quiet voice drifted down to her from a newly arrived figure standing at the foot of her bed.

“Shit, Ben!” Rey rolled, quite clumsily, onto her side to peer up at the man towering over her. She realized with a start that she must have summoned him here accidentally through the Force. _That’s a new development_. She desperately hoped he hadn’t discerned the content of her thoughts…

“I felt you reaching out to me, I think. Are you alright?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

“I’m sorry! I – I didn’t meant to. I was just thinking…I mean, not about you but – well, sort of…” she blathered, unable to formulate a proper excuse in her current, drunken state. Unsteady and shaking slightly, she pushed herself out of bed and attempted to stand, but gravity got the best of her. Ben reached out and grabbed her shoulders, steadying her and preventing what would otherwise have been a face plant onto the cold floor.

“Are you _drunk_?” he asked incredulously.

“I may have partaken in some…alcoholic affairs,” she admitted sheepishly. “But I’m not dru…” Rey could only half finish her defense before she swayed dangerously once more and Ben was forced to coax her into a sitting position on the bed.

“Lay down, Rey.” His stern voice was in sharp contrast to the gentleness of his hands as he guided her head to the pillow. Rey burst into an unprovoked fit of giggles and Ben eyed her suspiciously.

“Is the _Supreme Leader_ going to read me a bedtime story after he tucks me into bed?” she gasped, hysterical.

Ben rolled his eyes in annoyance while only just managing to suppress a smile. “What is wrong with you?” he inquired with a feigned air of superiority.

“I’m sorry,” Rey said quickly, seriousness returning to her face. “Do you hate me?” She looked up at him with exaggeratedly sad eyes and screwed up her face into an overly-indulgent pout.

“You need sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” she insisted as she yawned widely. The room was spinning around her and it took all of her concentration to focus on her frustrated guest. “Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

Rey never heard his response. The last thing she remembered was seeing a small, sad smile cross his face before she closed her eyes and drifted off into oblivion.


	5. Rebirth

It had been weeks since the party – and since Rey’s drunken humiliation in front of Ben – and things had taken a drastic turn. Rey knew she had been the cause of the change; her epiphany about swaying her Resistance comrades to a new cause had eliminated the last barrier in her mind. She knew it would be a long and tricky process, slowly dropping hints to her closest friends without revealing herself prematurely, but she had come to believe in the future she had foreseen. Rey truly believed that she and Ben could make a positive, permanent change in the galaxy…end the war…end the suffering. As a result of her new resolve, in the following weeks she and Ben had become nearly inseparable. _If you can call meeting through the Force while actually living some tens of thousands of lightyears apart_ _inseparable_ , she thought ironically.

Once they had discovered their ability to willingly summon each other through the Force, they began to convene every day, sometimes twice a day. At first they discussed their ambitions and the general objectives they wished to accomplish. Whereas Rey had expected bumps in the road and potentially insurmountable conflicts, she had been pleasantly surprised at the relative accord. With few exceptions, their convictions and ideologies were largely compatible. Upon agreeing on a very rough vision for their future, the pair began contemplating the specifics of pulling off such a plan. This generated much more conflict, Rey had discovered: Ben had a more…extreme…perspective on how to accomplish their goals. Rey, on the other hand, strained to soften his radical methods and come up with more rational, less violent ways to achieve those same goals. So far they had settled on what Rey thought was a bold and potentially over-zealous plan forward: killing General Hux (a crime she did not feel particularly bad about committing), ordering the removal of First Order troops from their current occupations and restoring power to local authorities, recruiting planetary leaders to form a temporary, emergency Senate, and persuading said Senate to fund the creation of a clone army to maintain peace after the dissolution of the First Order. _No problem…a simple task_ , Rey mused sarcastically, rolling her eyes. When she thought of it in sequence like that, the absurdity of it was striking. But Ben was so confident…so unfazed by the sheer enormity of it all. Just the thought of his smug face caused her muscles to relax; a small smile even graced her face. With Ben by her side it all felt just a little less…insane.

Rey sighed and attempted to clear her mind of the distracting thoughts. She stared down at the complex runes that filled the yellowed pages of the book in her lap. The volume she was holding was old and tattered, barely held together by its ancient bindings. The sacred Jedi texts, stolen from the Jedi temple on Ahch-To. Though Rey had kept her loot a secret from her friends, she did not regret taking the books from Master Luke’s possession, especially given their final confrontation. Rey closed the book and absently stroked the cover, feeling each groove and tear along its surface. It was precious to her and she was eager to share it. She had come to trust Ben, to confide in him about her deepest fears and desires. She was ready to bring him in on this secret, too. Plus, she had another pressing issue to ask him about. She closed her eyes, took a steadying breath, and reached out for him through the Force.

Rey opened her eyes and found herself face to face with a tall man clad in all black. He smiled down at her, pleasantly surprised at her sudden appearance. She marveled at his eyes, which were smiling more prominently than his mouth, and had to force herself not to get lost in their depths. She had work to do.

“I need to talk to you. Or rather, I have something I want to show you,” she started. When he gave her an inquisitive look, she walked to her bedside table and extracted a dusty old book from the top drawer. She offered it to him. Cautiously, Ben took the book and stared down at its tattered cover; he recognized it at once.

“The Jedi texts…Luke told us about these. I thought they were lost when the Jedi Order failed,” he murmured in awe.

“They were never lost. They were in the Jedi Temple on Ahch-To. When I couldn’t convince Master Luke to leave the island with me, I stole them.” Rey’s cheeks burned hot at the admission, though in her mind her actions had been justified. Unsurprisingly, Ben was undisturbed by her confession and instead continued gawking at the book.

“Look, there are more,” she added as she pulled the top drawer back out to reveal a collection of similarly ancient books. Rey wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Ben’s eyes managed to widen even more, plainly conveying his amazement.

“Rey, these are outstanding. The amount of knowledge contained within these books is…unimaginable. I can’t believe you have these.”

Pleased with his reaction, Rey couldn’t help but smile, though she tried her best to hide it. “That’s not all I wanted to talk to you about, though,” she admitted.

“What is it?”

“When we struggled for Luke’s lightsaber in Snoke’s chamber it snapped in half.” At her words Ben’s face darkened and he lowered his eyes. Sensing his guilt, she rushed to the point. “I’m bringing this up because I obviously need a new lightsaber. And I’ve been scouring these books for information but they aren’t exactly instruction manuals. And then I was thinking…maybe…if you want to, I mean…you could guide me?” She blurted out the last few words. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous, but she couldn’t help but shiver at the squirming knots in her stomach.

Ben stared down at her with a mixture of pride and excitement, but suddenly his expression fell. “I should have told you about this before now. I have something you might be interested in.” He walked slowly into another room and reappeared moments later holding something small and shiny. _A lightsaber._

“The night that I destroyed Luke’s Jedi Temple, I found this among the rubble. I thought he had died and I took it as a trophy. I didn’t know how you would react so I didn’t tell you…I’m sorry.” He held the lightsaber out for her and she took it in her hand, stunned at the turn of events.

“Luke had a second lightsaber?” she asked, and this time it was her turn to sound dazed.

“Yes…he crafted it himself. He used it most of his life. But it belongs now to you.”

Rey ignited the lightsaber and stared at the glowing green blade. Her eyes welled up with tears at the thought of the man she had known. Not a perfect man, but brave, noble, wise. She deactivated the saber and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thank you,” was all she could manage.

“Does the broken lightsaber still contain its kyber crystal?” Ben asked curiously. Rey could see the spark of an idea in his eyes.

“Yes…” she answered, unsure of where he was going with this. She reached into a bag that had been propped up against the wall and retrieved the two lightsaber halves.

“Snoke used to give me lessons on the Sith Masters of old,” he explained. “During the Clone Wars one particular apprentice, Darth Maul, trained under Emperor Palpatine before Darth Vader. He used a double-bladed lightsaber…it was a powerful weapon.” Admiration was evident in Ben’s voice as he spoke.

“Double-bladed?”

“Yes, a saberstaff. Not dissimilar to the staff that you use,” he said pointedly. Rey finally caught on to his implication, and her eyes lit up.

“So I could use the two crystals to construct a double-bladed lightsaber? A _saberstaff?_ ” She tested the word on her tongue and it felt…right. Ben smiled and nodded in answer. “And you would help me do that?”

“I can guide you, but the burden of the work must be yours. Building a lightsaber requires an extraordinary amount of effort from the builder; I can only imagine a saberstaff will be even more taxing. But I have no doubt that you are ready for the task,” Ben said confidently.

“I am ready,” she confirmed his words.

“You have the two crystals already. Can you gather the rest of the materials by tomorrow night?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Then let’s meet tomorrow night at dusk. The process will take hours, and it is imperative that you aren’t interrupted,” he advised her.

“Thank you, Ben.” Rey looked up into his eyes once more and saw a shadow of sadness there that was quickly replaced with a kind smile. And then he was gone and she was left staring at a blank wall. She wrinkled her forehead in thought as she considered the momentary look of sorrow on his face, but she could think of no explanation. Still confused, she returned the book and lightsabers to their respective homes and headed out the door to meet up with Finn and Chewie for breakfast.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

“Good evening.” His deep voice broke the silence in the sparsely furnished room. A single figure looked up at him from her seated position on the floor and smiled widely. Laid out on the ground in front of her were a variety of metal pieces and small machinery, among which Ben recognized an emitter matrix, a power-cell, and two lightsaber crystals: one blue, one green. He stared at her admiringly; she was not one to waste time or fool around.

“I think I have everything I need.” She indicated the objects scattered about her.

“Then let’s get started.”

Ben sat down cross-legged, opposite her on the floor. The pair locked eyes, and Ben began explaining to her how the process works. She listened eagerly as he told her how Luke had constructed his green lightsaber from scratch, including forging the synthetic green crystal contained at its core. He then moved on to describe his own experience building a lightsaber from a cracked Kyber crystal. At last, he detailed the meditation she would need to perform in order to imbue her Force signature into the crystals. Feeling that he had exhausted his useful advice, Ben paused and studied Rey’s face. He could tell at once that she was anxious, overwhelmed by his information overload.

“Close your eyes, Rey,” he whispered. “Take a deep breath. Stabilize your emotions. Find the balance within yourself.” At once he could see the visible change in her body: her back straightened, the muscles in her arms relaxed, and a look of calm washed over her features. “Now feel the Force. Let it guide you. Focus your mind on the crystals, and let the Force flow through you and into them.”

Ben watched as Rey furrowed her brow, but otherwise remained motionless. He could sense the Force building around them, filling the air with a feverish energy. Ben knew that Rey was his equal in the Force, but still he found himself stunned by her sheer power. He closed his eyes and began his own meditation, aroused by the electricity in the room.

For hours the pair sat in vigorous meditation, completely undisturbed by the world around them. Finally, and in eerie synchronicity, they both opened their eyes. Ben marveled at the weapon glimmering in Rey’s hands, both blades ignited. Her own eyes were transfixed on the saberstaff and reflected the green and blue blades like a dazzling mirror. After sitting in silent wonder for several minutes, Ben was the first to speak.

“That’s incredible.”

Rey rose slowly to her feet and swung the saber around in her hands. Ben watched appreciatively, not fearing the blades that sliced through the air only inches from his head. After a few impressive maneuvers, she deactivated the blades and tore her eyes away from the precious weapon to stare down at Ben.

“Thank you, Ben. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Ben stood up and grinned, despite his best efforts to look serious. “I didn’t do anything,” he said.

“It may feel like that to you, but not to me.”

Before Ben could respond, Rey’s eyes drooped sleepily and she teetered slightly on her feet. She steadied herself and sat down heavily on her bed.

“You must be exhausted,” Ben said. “That must have taken everything out of you.”

“I am pretty tired,” she admitted as she curled up on her side in the fetal position.

“Don’t worry about training tomorrow; take the day off to rest.”

“Okay…” she murmured as she closed her eyes and immediately dozed off.

Ben stood staring at her sleeping form for a moment, listening to her soft, rhythmic breathing. Then he turned, picked up her saberstaff and examined it in his hands. It was an extraordinary weapon. _It makes my lightsaber look like a child’s toy_ , he thought seriously. Since their battle on Starkiller Base he had considered her an equal, but as he stared down at the saber he reconsidered. _She is more powerful than me_. _I may have more training but she has more…potential._ He pondered this new revelation for a few moments before deciding, to his surprise, that it didn’t bother him. If anything, he looked at her with more respect than ever. Rather than the typical feelings of jealousy and anger whenever one of his peers out-performed him – which wasn’t often – he felt pride. Reveling in the novel emotion, Ben glanced down at Rey once more before extracting himself from her presence. He found himself inside his own chambers. In place of Rey’s soft snoring was silence…a silence that made him feel miserably alone.


	6. Attachment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that has read this and given feedback so far! I'm very excited about where the story is going, and I hope you all continue to enjoy it!

Several more weeks passed and Rey and Ben were spending as much time as possible together. Between studying the Jedi texts, sparing with their lightsabers, and honing their plans for the future, the pair was keeping busy. Rey managed not to feel too guilty about lying to her friends about what she was doing; when she told them she was busy training, she wasn’t technically lying. But in the spare moments she did spend with her Resistance cohorts, she was trying hard to drop hints about her plan with Ben. Unfortunately, this wasn’t going quite as smoothly as she had hoped. She found that her hints were either too subtle that no one picked up on them, or they weren’t received very well. There was one instance in particular, Rey remembered, that had quickly gone sour: After dinner one night she had been chatting with Poe, Finn, Rose and Kaydel when she had casually asked them if they would be willing to end the war if a peace treaty could be established with the First Order. Her rhetorical question was met with angry scoffing and an outraged Poe storming off to bed. Rey had made peace with him afterwards, of course, but she was left shaken by her friends’ dogmatic stances. She knew she would have to try much harder to persuade anyone from the Resistance to join her cause. _Maybe I’ll try to single out Finn_ , she mused. _Of all of my friends, he might be the most sympathetic. I know he would at least hear me out…I would do the same for him._

Rey continued to weigh her options in her head as she laid in bed staring at the ceiling. It was late and she needed sleep, but she was too anxious about her predicament to shut her mind off. Instead she got out of bed, walked into the adjacent washroom, and stood in front of the sink. She splashed cold water onto her face and then patted it down with a towel. She knew if Ben were there he could calm her nerves, and she wondered briefly if he was still awake. Not wanting to be alone with her uneasy thoughts any longer, she closed her eyes and concentrated on him through the Force.

When Rey opened her eyes she was standing in the middle of Ben’s private quarters. She peered through the dimly lit room but he was nowhere to be seen. A door creaked open behind her and she whipped around to see him standing there, clad only in a gray towel. He had clearly just stepped out of the shower: steam poured from the washroom, his hair was wet, and she caught a faint whiff of soap. She had seen him shirtless before, but not like this. Water droplets glistened on his exposed skin, drawing attention to his broad shoulders, muscular arms, and toned abs. For a moment she stood gaping at him, her mind completely devoid of rational thought. After too long of a pause, she spoke.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge in on you so late…I can go. Yeah, I should go…sorry,” she stammered awkwardly as she averted her gaze and attempted to stare anywhere except at his enticingly bare chest.

“It’s okay!” he insisted. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Are you sure? I really don’t want to intrude,” she said truthfully, still unsure of where to fix her gaze.

“Rey, look at me.” At his insistence, Rey looked cautiously up at him and focused on his eyes…the dark eyes she had come to know so well. “I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, but when Rey continued to fidget awkwardly he added, “Let me put some clothes on first.”

Rey watched him disappear into a third room and emerge a minute later wearing black pants and a tight black shirt. Relieved, yet also strangely disappointed (a feeling she did not want to examine closely at the moment), she finally managed to relax.

“Is that better?” he asked, though she could have sworn there was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied shyly. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

Ben walked past her and picked up a book that had been spread open on his pillow. She recognized it immediately as one of the Jedi texts she had lent him; she remembered from her brief scan that this particular volume described, in detail, the Code by which all Jedi Knights must live.

“I was reading about the Jedi Code, and it got me thinking…” he began, nervousness edging into his voice. “I remember when Luke taught me about the Code, and I couldn’t understand why anyone would agree to live by those rules. And as I sat here thinking about it, I realized just how antiquated and…well, _wrong_ …some of these rules are.”

“I don’t think I understand…” Rey admitted, puzzled.

“Consider the mantra, for starters. Knowledge and harmony I can understand, but listen to the rest: _there is no emotion, there is peace…there is no passion, there is serenity_. How can they expect you to abandon emotion and passion? How can those concepts be separated from the Force? I can’t imagine one without the other. I never feel more emotional…more passionate…than when I’m connected with the Force.” The intensity of his words was matched by his facial expression and body language. Rey was taken aback by the fervor of his argument.

“The Jedi lived by those rules so as to stay on the light side of the Force. They believed that deep emotions could lead to the dark side,” she explained, though she was sure he already knew the reasoning. “You only have to look as far as your grandfather to see the truth in it. Anakin Skywalker disavowed the Jedi Code and married your grandmother…his love for her was his downfall. He would have done anything to keep her alive, and it ruined him.”

“Do you actually believe that emotion, passion, and attachment are paths to the dark side?” he exclaimed in disbelief. “I don’t buy that. Above all else the Jedi feared power. The Jedi Code was manufactured to restrict the amount of power any one Jedi could possess. Emotions and passion don’t lead to darkness…they lead to power. Look within yourself and tell me I’m wrong!”

“I – I don’t know. Peace and serenity bring balance, and the Force needs balance.” Rey was clutching at straws to formulate an argument against his impassioned reasoning.

“In one sense, yes, but think about it, Rey! Could you really stand here in this moment and tell me that you have no emotional attachments?”

“No, but…”

“That there is no one you love and care about?!”

“No, b─”

“Tell me that you don’t feel anything right now…right here. That standing here with me you feel nothing!”

“I…” she started, but stopped suddenly as the impact of his words hit her like a blaster bolt to the chest. He was talking about himself, she realized; implying that she should disagree with the Jedi Code because of her feelings towards him…right? She second guessed herself and failed miserably to find the right words to say. Instead she said nothing.

“Don’t be coy, Rey,” Ben said impatiently. He moved towards her until they were standing a short arm’s length apart. “You can’t deny the feelings you have towards me; I feel your emotions through the Force even as we stand here.”

Rey’s heart dropped into her stomach as he spoke. Sure, she had come to care about Ben and she couldn’t deny that she had…strong…feelings for him, but she had prohibited herself from dwelling on such feelings; they had too much work to do…too many issues left to resolve. She wasn’t ready to explore any deeper connection with him, no matter how strongly he affected her…

“Maybe you’re scared to admit it,” he said as if reading her mind, “but I’m not: I feel a potent attachment to you. An attachment that the Jedi would have scorned and rejected! But you don’t bring me weakness, Rey, you bring me strength. In your presence I feel more powerful than ever, and when you are gone I feel empty…weak.” He took another step closer and leaned in towards her, his words nothing more than whispers. “Can you seriously deny that you feel the same way?”

Ben’s eyes blazed with a passionate fire that caused Rey’s heart to skip a beat. Overwhelmed by his demanding gaze, she took a few shaky steps backwards until her back hit his bedroom wall. Apparently undeterred by her trembling, Ben shadowed her movements and approached her once more. He didn’t stop until his chest was only inches from hers; she was now effectively pinned in the corner of the room with no means of evading him. Cautiously and painfully slowly Ben reached his hand up and lightly touched her cheek; his fingers lingered there for a long moment.

“ _This_ ,” he pressed more firmly on her cheek to indicate their physical connection, “gives me power…energizes me. How can that be wrong?”

“Ben, I don’t─” she began nervously but was swiftly interrupted.

“ _Rey_ …” That one word was filled with so much emotion and…longing…that Rey panicked internally. Ben cocked his head slightly to the side and slid his hand under her chin, lifting it up so she was forced to look directly into his penetrating eyes.

“I – I can’t!” she exclaimed abruptly and mentally extracted herself from the situation. At once she was back in her own room on Dantooine, her back now against a different wall. Her chest heaved as she struggled to control her breathing, and her cheeks were burning hot with embarrassment. Her thoughts ran wild inside her head and couldn’t be channeled into a rational state. _What the hell was that?!_ she thought madly. _What was he thinking?_ A barrage of similar exclamations rang through her head and she tried to sort out her emotions.

After she had a few minutes to decompress she was able to lie back down on her bed and process the situation. Ben had spoken so passionately about _her_ …just the thought brought pink back to her cheeks. Part of her was still shaken by the turn of events, but she couldn’t deny that another part of her ached to go back to him. To tell him she felt the same way. To see where things would have gone if she hadn’t left…

With an array of confusing thoughts and images racing through her head, Rey eventually drifted off to sleep.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Ben knelt down beside the bed and gently placed his hand on Rey’s shoulder. He had slept terribly the night before, wracked with unease at the way they left things off. He knew he wasn’t wrong: _she does feel the same way_. But he also knew that he had pushed her too far, too quickly. Wanting to make things right, he sought her out as soon as he had deemed it a respectable hour.

“Rey,” he breathed softly, shaking her shoulder more forcefully this time. Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped at the proximity of the creeping figure. Realizing it was only Ben, she muttered something unintelligible, smiled sleepily and closed her eyes again. “Rey, wake up.”

“Ergggghh,” she moaned with annoyance as she rubbed her eyes with her hands. With an exasperated groan she shoved herself into a sitting position and stared expectantly at him.

“I didn’t want to wake you, but I had to apologize for last night.” As if suddenly remembering the events of the previous night, Rey looked down and sighed heavily. Before Ben could continue, she began speaking quickly.

“It’s me that should apologize.” Ben looked at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion. “You’re right about me…I do feel the same way. But I’m scared.”

“What are you afraid of?” he asked, puzzled by the turn the conversation had taken.

“I feel the power you were describing. Whenever I’m around you I feel…enhanced? I don’t know the right word for it, but it’s strong…and it’s _dangerous_.” Her voice trembled as she said the last word. He could sense her trepidation in the confession. “I’m afraid of that power. I’m afraid of what I might do to keep it…to keep you. I cannot allow myself to succumb to the dark side, and I’m terrified that if you asked me to, I would.” Ben watched as she furrowed her brow and set her jaw, attempting to stay strong in front of him, but despite her best efforts a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that, Rey,” he insisted seriously.

“We’ve been down a similar road before…”

“It won’t be like that this time!” he argued.

“I don’t want to be vulnerable again. But I can’t help but be vulnerable around you. The strength you give me is unlike anything I have ever experienced…and I’m afraid to lose it.”

Lost in the intensity of the moment, neither of them heard the soft knocking at the door.

“I will not allow that to happen. I am fully committed to our plan and to you. Hell, Rey, I’m ready to set our plans in motion now! I’ve never been more ready for anything.”

“I still need more time. Finn, Poe, Chewie, all of my friends…I haven’t had enough time to get them on our side. I─”

“Rey,” he crouched down in front of where Rey was seated on the bed so he could look her straight in the eyes. He grabbed her hands in his and tried to convey his sincerity in his gaze. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll give you time, a few weeks if you need it.”

More knocks at the door, but this time Ben and Rey heard them clearly.

“Just a second!” Rey shouted towards the door and tried to stand up, but Ben remained where he was, blocking her way.

“Just tell me you’ll be okay and I’ll leave you alone,” he uttered, careful to keep his voice down now that he knew someone was at the door. Rey stared back at him and nodded her head almost imperceptibly. Ben exhaled in relief and smiled kindly at her, but their silent reverie was broken by a new arrival standing in the doorway of Rey’s room. _Mother_. The trio exchanged alarmed glances, rendered speechless by the interruption. Leia Organa stood still as a statue, her eyes moving between Rey, perched on the edge of her bed, and Ben, kneeling before her, until her gaze finally settled on their clasped hands. Ben, having lost the capacity for speech, was grateful when Rey broke the silence.

“General Organa! I can explain!”


	7. Chaos

Leia stood silently in the doorway with one hand still on the door handle, her mouth agape in alarm. Ben was still crouched in front of Rey holding her hands, apparently too shocked to move or speak. Rey pushed him away and bolted to her feet, flushing scarlet, like a criminal caught in the act. Next to her, Ben straightened up and kept his eyes transfixed on his estranged mother. Hoarsely and with barely-suppressed horror, he breathed, “ _Mom_.”

Tears poured forth from Leia’s eyes as she heard her adult son speak for the very first time.

“Mom…” he repeated, dazed.

At his second utterance of the title she had long-since given up, Leia pounced. The older woman screamed loudly, incoherently, and took off from her position at the door; she bounded across the room with unbelievable speed for a woman of her age. Rey and Ben reacted with equal swiftness: Rey moved to stand protectively in front of Ben, and Ben raised his hands in the universal sign of peace. Leia reached Rey and halted, though the frenzied expression on her face did not fade.

“What is going on?!” the General screamed; who the question was aimed at, Rey didn’t know, but she responded anyways.

“I can explain, Leia! I swear it. Just hear us out!” Rey pleaded.

“ _Us?!_ ” Leia cried, appalled. “What _us_ can there be between a Jedi and a murderous traitor? He killed his father…my husband! Did you forget about that?!”

“Of course not! Please, just listen and─” Her beseeching was interrupted by a viscous slap across the face. Rey shut up abruptly as the pain radiated across her red cheek and tears welled in her eyes, too stunned by the violent action to react. Leia lowered her hand and shot Rey with a crippling glare. Ben, finally emerging back into reality, grabbed Rey by the shoulders and moved her behind him and out of Leia’s reach. Rey watched, gripped with fear, as Ben stood between herself and Leia, attempting to preclude further physical aggression.

“GET OUT!” Leia cried hysterically, turning her attention to Ben. “GET OUT! YOU KILLED HAN! YOUR FATHER! GET OUT! GO!” She began hitting him on his chest in quick succession with her fists – not enough to cause any pain to the sturdy man, but enough to leave no doubts about the extent of her ire. As much as she didn’t want to face Leia alone, Rey knew that it wouldn’t do any good for Ben to stick around. She grabbed his arm and pulled so that he turned abruptly to face her.

“Ben, go,” she whispered with urgency. “Please go.” Ben looked her fiercely in the eyes and, sensing her sincerity, nodded silently. With a final, fleeting glance at the woman who raised him, Ben disappeared.

Leia started at Ben’s sudden dematerialization; she stared at the empty spot where he had only just been standing. “How…?”

“Sit down, General,” Rey managed to mutter. She placed a tentative hand on Leia’s back and tried to guide her to the bed, but Leia lashed out at the gesture and moved to the bed on her own. She plopped down on the edge of the bed and placed her head heavily in her hands, clearly drained by the encounter. Sensing a waning window of time to explain herself, Rey began speaking in a whirlwind of words.

“I know it seems horrible to you right now, but if you hear me out then I think you will understand.” Leia scoffed scornfully, but Rey hurtled on. “Remember when I told you that I had Force dreams about Kylo Ren when I was on Ahch-To? That wasn’t exactly the whole truth…” With that, Rey began confessing the genuine account of her interactions with Ben. Words spilled out of her mouth freely as she told Leia about their initial Force encounters on Ahch-To, the honest version of the events on Snoke’s starship, and the subsequent encounters with Ben since her arrival on Dantooine. Leia listened to Rey’s tale with her head still buried in her hands, emitting pained groans and sighs here and there. When Rey reached the account of her most recent Force vision with Ben, she chose her words carefully: “I hated him for everything he had done. I felt the same way that you feel about him right now. But one day…one day during my training he appeared and I had another vision…like the one I had on Ahch-To but different…I can’t explain it! But this time it felt so real, and I knew it was possible. Leia…what I saw was incredible. And Ben saw the same thing! It was our future…a future of restoring peace and balance to the galaxy. Ending the war, establishing a new Senate, fostering peace throughout the systems.” Rey’s eyes grew wet as she spoke about the future that had become so precious to her. “It was a future with no First Order and no Resistance. We saw ourselves building a new galactic order…one that embraces the light side of the Force _and_ doesn’t shy away from the dark side. A middle-ground….a gray space. One where you and the rest of the Resistance supporters could find a new home. We want you to join us… _we_. Me _and_ Ben…he is fully committed to the plan, too. I know it may not seem like much coming from me right now, but there is good in him. So much good. I saw it in the vision and I’ve seen it in his eyes so many times. Leia, you have to believe me.”

Leia stirred; slowly, she looked up at Rey and the pain in her eyes was heartbreaking. “Ben Solo is dead. My son is never coming back. Kylo Ren is nothing but a charismatic savage, and he has his hooks in you so deep…”

“It’s not like that! Please! I – I have seen the good in him. I used to think he was a monster, but he’s not! He’s been conflicted since he was a boy: ripped in opposite directions by the people he loved and the tyrant that seduced him! Yes, he has a lot of Vader in him, but he also has a lot of you and Han!” Rey’s voice shook with emotion as she pleaded with Leia, desperate to make her see the truth of her own son.

“Conflicted?! He wasn’t _conflicted_ when he murdered his own father! Or when he slaughtered innocent children and burned Luke’s Jedi Temple to the ground!”

“Yes he was! Snoke got to him as a child, penetrated his defenses, but Ben was never fully gone! He loved you and Han, and he loved Luke. I know he did.”

“Then explain to me why he became Kylo Ren!” Leia’s anger brought her to her feet and she now stood toe-to-toe with Rey. Both women were red in the face, tears streaming down their cheeks, bodies tense with emotional fervor.

Rey paused momentarily, wracking her brain for a possible solution. She had sworn to herself that she would never tell Leia the truth about what happened between Luke and Ben…she knew it would break Leia’s heart. But she also knew that Leia would never accept any other explanation for why Ben became Kylo. _It’s now or never_ , she thought solemnly. This horrible turn of events with Leia blew all of her and Ben’s plans…if she didn’t act now to get the Resistance on her side, then she might as well forget it all. _Hell, given Leia’s reaction, I might be destined for much worse._ Rey took a deep breath to help strengthen her resolve and then divulged the secret she had vowed to keep:

“The night that Ben became Kylo Ren, something…happened…between him and Master Luke.” Rey spoke nervously, afraid of Leia’s reaction, and was met with a confused look on the general’s face. “Luke had sensed darkness in Ben, so that night he went to Ben’s bedside and looked inside of his mind…he saw that Snoke had already begun his corruption. In a moment of fear and anger, Luke almost killed Ben while he lay in bed sleeping. But Ben sensed the intrusion and woke up to see his uncle standing by his bed poised to kill. He reacted the way a scared boy would: he fought back and destroyed everything Luke had built. But what Luke failed to see when he looked into Ben’s mind was that he hadn’t turned to the dark side yet…he was still Ben Solo. By acting out in violence, Luke created Kylo Ren.” When she had finished, Rey reached a tentative hand out to touch Leia’s arm, hoping to comfort the older woman. Leia did not flinch away from her touch, and Rey noticed with a touch of hope that her icy glare had become sorrowful.

“I know it’s painful for you to hear, and Luke was wracked with shame every day for the rest of his life, but it means that there is still a chance for Ben,” Rey said encouragingly, staring at Leia with softness and understanding.

After a long pause, Leia spoke, her words barely more than whispers: “This changes nothing.”

Rey was shocked; she thought the story would change her perspective…make her see the truth of her own son. “Leia…how can you not see the bigger picture here?” Rey asked incredulously. “Luke believed, like all Jedi, that he could operate within the confines of the light. He believed he could be truly _good_ by using the light side of the Force and denying the dark side. He cut himself off so completely from the dark side that he failed to comprehend the conflict within Ben. He saw the situation in black and white. And he was so completely indoctrinated in his beliefs that for one terrible moment he considered slaughtering his own nephew just to destroy what darkness lay there. Don’t you see the irony in that?! Wickedness to prevent wickedness. It’s illogical! Resisting the dark side of the Force will not bring balance. It wrought devastation within Luke, and it has fostered turmoil within the galaxy!” Rey spoke passionately, truly convinced of her own words. When Rey fell silent, Leia shook her head slowly in distrust and disappointment.

“What does a naïve, untrained girl know of the Force? You speak to me as if you have lived the long life of a Master…not the short life of a scavenger on Jakku. The Resistance will continue what the Rebellion started: the eradication of evil from the galaxy. Do you expect us to sit idly by as the First Order wreaks havoc and destruction in every known star system?! The Sith, the Empire, the First Order: they rose from the dark side, and I will not allow that darkness to penetrate the ranks of my noble alliance!” Leia was shouting by the time she finished; her eyes were wild with anger and her hands were balled tightly into fists.

Outside in the hallway, a pair of passing Resistance officers heard the shouting and raced to the doorway. They found Rey and General Organa in the midst of what looked like a serious argument. Startled by the possibility of a fight between two powerful Force users, the duo raced off to alert a higher ranking official. Back in the room, Rey was reeling from the general’s lack of sensibility on the matter; she was quickly losing her patience with the mulish older woman. Sensing that Leia was also on the verge of losing her temper, Rey made a final, desperate attempt at persuasion.

“I feel the Force drawing me to do this…to seek out Ben and create a new order: one not controlled by the Jedi or the Sith. It will not be born of the dark side…it will be born of balance: light and dark. This is what I’m being called to do. And I – _we_ – want you to help us. Please Leia, I’m begging you. This is right…I am sure of it.”

“A galactic order ruled by two traitorous Force users would be a dictatorship! You will succumb to the dark side just like my son,” Leia spat, now completely unhinged. The hardship of the argument was visible on her face and in her eyes that now glowered menacingly at Rey. “Luke was right to hide away on a forgotten island and refuse to train more Jedi.”

Stinging from the general’s cruel words, Rey retorted indignantly: “You are wrong! It was cowardice and folly, not wisdom, that drove Luke into isolation!”

“I will die before I see myself or any member of the Resistance join you!”

Stunned by the ghastly turn the conversation had taken, Rey barely noticed the arrival of several Resistance members at the door. They filed into the room, jaws gaping at the incomprehensible fight taking place. Admiral Dameron stood closest to the shouting pair, followed closely by Commander Finn, Chewbacca, and a collection of intimidatingly large soldiers.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Poe yelled at the two women. Startled by the interruption, Rey whipped her head around and stared blankly at Poe, completely lost for words.

“Stand down, Dameron!” Leia cried in response, her gaze still locked on Rey. Poe looked at the general and then glanced questioningly at Rey; when the women said nothing further, he remained silent.

Rey looked back at Leia and saw the resolution in her eyes; with a sinking feeling, she realized that the general was set firmly in her decision…there would be no convincing her now. Rey couldn’t believe how quickly and terribly all of her plans had been dismantled. There would be no time to persuade her friends…to garner support. Leia would have her locked up for treason if she tried to stay. _No, I have to get out of here now_ , she thought miserably. Steeling her mind for the bitter disappointment of abandoning her friends, Rey made her moves quickly:

“I have to leave,” she mumbled quietly as she started towards the door. Poe jumped aside to let her pass, still unsure of the nature of the conflict.

“I will not allow you to betray the Resistance!” Leia bellowed, taking a step forward to follow her. Rey ignored the protests of the general and continued towards the door with unerring determination. Now it was Finn and Chewie that leapt out of the way as Rey stormed towards them. Fixated on preventing her escape, Leia reached her arm out and concentrated all of her power on stopping the young woman in her tracks. Rey, still barreling to the door, felt the familiar stiffening of her limbs as Leia attempted to use the Force to immobilize her. Having once been paralyzed successfully by Kylo Ren, Rey found the old woman’s lack of power almost laughable. Without so much as a blink, Rey concentrated the Force energy around her and, with a flick of her hand, reflected it back in its original direction, but this time with infinitely more power. Finding its target, Leia was blasted off of her feet and hit the wall behind her with a dull thud. Rey froze in panic, sensing that something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. She spun around dizzyingly fast and watched in horror as Poe sprinted to the general’s side and knelt before her, panicked.

“General?” he asked, quietly at first. When she didn’t respond, he began shaking her shoulders roughly and yelling. “General?! LEIA??” He placed two fingers gently on her wrist. “FUCK!”

But Rey didn’t need Poe to check for a pulse…she needed no one to tell her what she already knew. A crushing darkness penetrated Rey’s mind and threatened to engulf her. Her chest seized and her vision blurred, sending her violently to her knees. Across the room, Finn, Chewie and the other soldiers had joined Poe around the eerily still body of General Organa.

“She’s dead…” Poe breathed, tears now spilling down his cheeks. Rey looked up to see the wide eyes of her comrades transfixed on her, their expressions a mixture of panic, sorrow and disbelief. “You k-killed her,” Poe added, his voice cracking.

Rey fought back the nausea that threatened to expose the contents of her stomach. She stared back at the unbelieving faces of her comrades – her friends. “I – I didn’t…I never meant…no…no, no, no,” she moaned numbly, shaking her head.  She wished with every fiber of her being that she could reverse time and prevent that one act of retaliation. She watched Chewie shove Poe roughly out of the way and kneel down next to Leia’s body, placing her head in his lap. He growled softly; even those in the room that didn’t understand him could still perceive his grief. Chewie caressed Leia’s hair clumsily as he gazed upon his old friend for what would now be the last time.

“Chewie…I’m sorry…I never wanted this…” Rey whimpered through the great sobs that wracked her body. Chewie looked up at her with teary eyes that held one too many sorrows. When he returned his gaze to Leia’s lifeless face, Rey spared a glance at Finn, who had until now been silent.

“Rey,” he whispered hoarsely, gesturing down to Leia’s body, “what happened? I don’t understand…”

“I’m sorry, Finn…” was all she could manage to respond. The pain in Finn’s eyes was too much to bear, so she averted her gaze and instead looked back at Poe.

Poe inhaled heavily, as if to compose himself, before uttering a single command to his soldiers: “Arrest her.”

“Yes, Admiral,” the oldest of the soldiers stated, nodding to his companions. The other two soldiers took an obedient step towards Rey, but Finn leapt in front of them, blocking their path.

“Stop it!” Finn yelled angrily. “Poe, you don’t even know what happened here!”

“I saw all I needed to see! If Rey’s actions _were_ justified, we will find it out. Until then she will be arrested for treason.” The two men glared at each other, their friendship temporarily forgotten as they faced off in dogged opposition. For a fleeting instant, Rey was moved by Finn’s devotion to her, but it passed when she realized that his loyalty would be his downfall.

“Finn, leave it,” Rey pleaded with him.

“Rey, it was an accident! You didn’t mean to─” he started to protest, but she interrupted him.

“Finn! Stop!” she cried hysterically. She had already killed Leia with her callous counterstroke…she wasn’t about to drag Finn down with her. Finn turned and gaped at her, equally hurt and bewildered by her dismissal. Resigning, he hung his head and stepped sideways, clearing the soldiers’ paths to Rey. When the men resumed their approach, Rey chanced one last glace at the stiffening corpse of her last great mentor before summoning her saberstaff and rucksack and fleeing from the room.

“REY!” “Grrrrhhhhhh!” Collectively, the men in the room bellowed her name and raced out of the room after her. But Rey was agile and quick, and in impeccable shape thanks to her training; she swiftly outran them and in no time found herself preparing a transport shuttle for departure. She took off from the hangar and punched in the necessary codes to prime the hyperdrive, just in time for Poe, Finn and Chewie to emerge outside and watch her speed away. She could almost hear Finn’s cries and Chewie’s howling as she transitioned the shuttle into hyperspeed and collapsed, mind racing and utterly exhausted, into the pilot’s chair.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Somewhere, thousands of lightyears away, a tall, cloaked figure felt an overwhelming disturbance in the Force. Ben Solo sank to his hands and knees and closed his eyes, trying to tame the spinning sensation in his head. _Mother_. He had felt her die. But how?! He had just seen her not ten minutes ago when he left her alone with… _Rey_. Ben stumbled to his feet and breathed deeply, regaining his composure, before seeking her presence through the Force.

He found himself inside a small transport ship that was hurtling along at hyperspeed, from the looks of it. He scanned the tiny cockpit for a sign of Rey, but to no avail. Instead, he heard the muffled sounds of retching coming from the back of the shuttle. Racing towards the sound, he spotted Rey doubled-over in the refresher, spewing her guts into the toilet. She was sobbing hysterically between convulsions, wholly unaware that she had company. Terrified by her state, Ben rushed into the washroom and collapsed next to her, placing his arms around her shoulders.

“Rey! Are you okay? What is going on?!”

She stared up at him with tearful eyes before heaving violently once more; he rubbed her back, hoping to soothe her, but not knowing what else to say or do. He waited patiently for a response while she swallowed what remained of her insides and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

“Ben…I didn’t mean to…” she whispered fearfully, her eyes growing wide as she spoke.

“Rey, tell me what happened,” he commanded forcefully, not in the mood for a tedious back-and-forth. Rey bit her lip, clearly terrified to admit the truth, before finally speaking.

“I killed her, Ben. She tried to stop me from leaving and I…I killed her. It was an accident! She used the Force and I lost my temper…she was weak…I didn’t realize how powerful I…I…she’s dead…”

Rey’s agony was so great that Ben could feel it through the Force…in that moment he pitied her. He was troubled, naturally, that his mother had died, but the fact that Rey had been the one to execute the sentence was too much. Leia had meant so much to Rey…more than his mother had ever meant to him. And he knew it had been an accident; Rey would never have intentionally harmed Leia. Sympathy for the heartbroken girl in his arms flooded his mind and he tightened his grip on her.

“It’s not your fault, Rey.”

This time when Rey looked up at him he sensed a change in her mood: her eyes narrowed and she became rigid beneath his touch.

“This is your fault,” she breathed accusingly. “Leia warned me that this would happen…that you would lead me down a path I couldn’t return from…”

Ben gawked at Rey, completely taken aback by her change in attitude. He pulled away from her and slumped against the wall, his mouth floundering uselessly for words. When he couldn’t find any suitable for the situation, Rey continued berating him:

“How can this be right? Why would the Force guide me down a path that leads to murder?! Why did I listen to you?!” she cried as the frenzied sobs started up again. “Leia was right…I know nothing of the Force…I’m just a worthless scavenger from Jakku…I should have stayed there.”

Finally Ben regained the ability to speak. “Stop it!” When her wailing didn’t immediately cease, Ben grew cross and spoke more firmly. “STOP! REY! Knock it off!” Rey grew silent and sunk down the opposite wall so that they now sat facing each other, their feet overlapping in the middle. She eyed him expectantly, with only slightly less revulsion this time. “Rey,” he began again, softly this time, “what happened was an accident. It’s not an omen for the future or a judgement about the path we’ve chosen…it’s a freak accident and nothing else. Look at me!” he barked when she turned her head away and stared sightlessly at the wall. “Look at me!” Slowly, stubbornly, she met his gaze and blinked heavily, a fresh wave of tears spilling down her cheeks. “We knew that this wouldn’t be perfect. Not everyone was going to agree with us – you knew that.”

“But I killed h─”

“Stop! She put violence on the table, Rey! I watched her hit you! She tried to use the Force to control someone who was immeasurably more powerful! You reacted out of anger, yes, but that doesn’t make you evil!” he retorted emphatically before continuing in a gentler tone, “We knew that you wouldn’t be able to convince everyone to join us. This is a terrible, tragic turn of events, but it doesn’t change our plans…our mission.”

“But I needed time to convince everyone to join us…to persuade them that our cause is worthy. Now that’s impossible. If I go back I’ll be tried for murder and treason. They will never join us now.” Rey’s voice was hollow, empty, as if she had wasted all of the emotion from her body and was left barren – devoid of humanity.

Ben reached out a hand to Rey; when she placed her own shaky hand in his, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around her body. Rey buried her face in his neck and allowed herself to be cradled like a child. The pair sat huddled together on the floor of the washroom for countless minutes, their silence broken only by an occasional stifled sob. When Ben could feel Rey’s heartbeat slow to normal, he spoke quietly into her hair:

“Let’s meet up in person. We can talk about our next steps and go from there. I’ve told you that I’m ready for this. I am ready to stop talking and start doing.”

“I’m sorry, Ben. It was cruel of me to push any blame on you…I do trust you and I am ready for this.” When Rey finished speaking she pulled her head back and the pair locked eyes in mutual understanding. Ben didn’t need her apology; he could feel both her sincerity and her trust. _I’m getting quite good at reading her emotions through the Force_ , he thought offhandedly.

“Don’t apologize, just promise me you are serious about this.”

“I am serious,” she asserted.

“Good. Now go reset your flight course for Tatooine. Let’s meet in Mos Eisley…there’s a cantina there where we should go unnoticed.”

“Tatooine? Isn’t that where Master Luke grew up?” she asked curiously. Ben smiled internally, but outwardly only nodded as he stood up and prepared to depart.

“I have matters to attend to first, but I will try to be there by sundown.” Before Rey could respond, Ben was back on his Star Destroyer and charging down the passageways towards General Hux’s chambers.


	8. Reunion

Ben Solo pushed his way into the crowded bar, scanning the dimly lit rooms for a single human. Around him swarmed Dugs, Devaronians, and every imaginable manner of vile humanoids and creatures. The obnoxious sound of Kloo horns drifted over to him from the band playing loudly on a small stage; Rodians and Jawas alike danced along to the music. The occupants of the cantina that weren’t dancing were drinking rowdily, gambling, fighting, or engaged in a combination of all three. Ben wore a long, hooded cloak to hide his identity, but he imagined he could have walked in wearing nothing but his boots and been spared no more than a passing glace. Putting aside his disgust for the wretched dregs of civilization he had waltzed into, Ben continued his search. As he came around to the far side of the main bar, he saw a small hooded figure sitting alone in a well-concealed alcove. He approached the cloaked individual and sat down on the bench across from them; with little remaining fear of being recognized, he drew back his hood and removed his cloak. His new table-mate followed suit, pulling back her hood to reveal a pretty face and warm, smiling eyes.

“I’m sorry but I’m saving that seat for someone,” she teased with a shy smile.

“Damn, looks like I’ll be fighting someone for the pleasure of your company, then,” he joked back, giving her a playfully sultry look.

“Hmmm, I don’t know, he’s pretty tough.”

“Oh really? Don’t think I could take him?”

“It’ll be a toss-up, I imagine,” she stated with phony confidence.

“There’s not a man left in this galaxy that could best me…a woman, maybe, but not a man.”

Rey smiled broadly at his overt flattery, but then grew serious. Her eyes locked onto his as she whispered, “I’m glad you’re here, Ben.”

As he sat across from Rey he studied her face, taking in her features carefully. Her hazel eyes burned with that inextinguishable fire that spoke of her vivacity and spirit; her lips were slightly parted and upturned in an irresistibly coy smile; her body leaned forwards slightly in anticipation, taunting him. Being in her presence was…overwhelming. He had gotten so used to their Force-mediated encounters that he had forgotten what it actually felt like to be in her physical company. Every feeling he had towards her was amplified, from the compassion he felt when he looked in her eyes to the desire that burned fiercely in his stomach. It took everything in his power not to lean across the table and… _no, I better not go there_. He quickly shifted his thoughts to their current predicament, and away from the appeal of the girl across from him.

“What are we going to do?” she asked, a shadow of her earlier anxiety clouding her face.

“We’re going to be fine, Rey,” he whispered, reaching across the table and grabbing her hand. Electricity sparked between them at the contact, heightening his awareness of her emotions. Upon sensing her continued worry, he added, “We will figure everything out, just trust me.”

“I do.”

The pair sat and talked at the table for about an hour; Rey recounted the events of the day in exhaustive detail. Ben listened silently and tried his best to comfort Rey when she became emotional again. To Ben’s great relief she was much calmer than she had been earlier…he wasn’t sure how he would have handled it otherwise. _I’m not exactly familiar with comforting bereaved women_ , he thought sarcastically as Rey finished her story.

“I’m sorry that I left you to deal with that alone,” he sympathized. “I know you told me to go, but I should have stayed with you.”

“Don’t be silly,” she insisted, shaking her head. “You only would have made things worse…”

“Oh, thanks!” Rey laughed at that and Ben grinned reflexively, unable to hide the way she affected him. When he covered his face and coughed to hide his reddening cheeks, Rey yawned widely. “It’s been a long day; let’s get you to bed,” he announced and rose to his feet.

“Where are we staying?” she asked through a second yawn.

“I know a place.” He indicated with his head towards the door and then led her out of the bustling cantina and into the muggy night air. They walked only a few short blocks before he ducked into an alleyway and pulled Rey into a sketchy-looking inn. He exchanged a few hushed words with the landlord, a grumpy Toydarian, before slipping him a small stack of Imperial Credits and receiving a rusty key in return. Rey followed him up a rickety staircase and along a dark, creaky corridor to the correct door, which Ben proceeded to unlock. He threw the door open and switched the lights on to reveal a surprisingly tidy and reasonably spacious room. Without a word, Rey walked to a small table in the corner and set down her rucksack. She rifled through it, removed a few cosmetic items, and disappeared into the refresher. Ben used the spare moment to assess their living quarters: a lone bed stood against the far wall next to a bedside table that had seen better days, a couple wooden chairs sat in the corner where Rey had placed her bag, and a large wardrobe was housed next to the door of the washroom. He opened the wardrobe doors and found a few musty blankets folded on the top shelf. He grabbed the blankets and shook them out, immediately regretting the decision as he found himself engulfed in a sickening dust cloud. He was still coughing and spluttering when Rey emerged from the ‘fresher and eyed him curiously.

“Alright there?” she asked with a touch of humor in her voice.

“Yeah…fine.”

“So…” she started awkwardly. Ben looked up from the stale blanket at Rey and saw that she was glancing sideways at the sole bed in the room.

“Erm.” They exchanged an embarrassed glance and stood in awkward silence for longer than was comfortable.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

“You take the bed,” Ben offered graciously, “I’m all set.” He indicated the dusty sheets in his hand. Rey wrinkled her nose in disgust at the foul blankets, if you could even call them that, but she didn’t argue. She’d had a long, torturous day and she couldn’t summon the energy to argue with Ben over sleeping arrangements.

“Thank you.” She managed a tired smile before crossing the room and collapsing on the bed. She watched Ben through sleepy eyes as he prepared himself a makeshift bed of blankets on the floor; he grabbed the extra pillow off of the bed and placed it at the head of his arrangement. Rey smiled internally as she watched him work. Despite the horrible events of the day, she was glad to be here with him. Though, she had to admit, she had not been prepared for how strongly she would take to him in person…it was as if all these months of meeting with him through the Force had somehow veiled – or dampened, perhaps – her perceived feelings for him. _That’s not to say I didn’t feel strongly about him already_ , she mentally corrected herself. Rather, it was as if her already powerful emotional connection to him had been magnified by his true bodily presence. Now that she was with him physically her every thought and feeling was intensified tenfold. She wondered briefly if he felt the same way.

“Rey?” Ben asked softly, startling her out of her trance. She looked up quickly to see, much to her embarrassment, that he had finished making his bed and was now staring at her with a look of bemusement on his face. She flushed a deep shade of red as it dawned on her that he had caught her ogling him like an idiot.

“Sorry, what?” she responded quickly, trying to hide her awkwardness.

“I asked if you were ready for me to turn off the lights.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, a bit too loudly, “yes, yes. Sorry, I’m ready.”

Rather than walking to the light switch by the door, Ben approached the bed and stood there, staring down at her. Cautiously, like a child testing their limits, he reached his hand out and stroked her forehead, brushing away a stray strand of hair. Rey’s breath caught in her throat at his gentle touch on her face. His fingers felt like fire on her cold skin…but it was a pleasant fire…the same fire that suddenly burned in the pit of her stomach. Before she could formulate an explanation for the new feeling, Ben was up and walking towards the door. He switched off the light, and she listened to him stumble back to his blanket-bed in the dark and lie down clumsily.

“Good night, Rey.” His whisper echoed eerily off the walls of the pitch black room. She closed her eyes and smiled internally for the hundredth time that evening.

“Good night.”


	9. Ghosts

Rey woke up the next morning to the sound of heavy, rhythmic breathing from somewhere nearby. She opened her eyelids just a crack and peered out through her lashes to find the source of the noise. She inhaled sharply when she spotted a shirtless Ben doing sit-ups in the center of the room. He was drenched in sweat, clearly having been at it for a while now. She closed her eyes hastily when he readjusted into a plank position, afraid that he would catch her spying, but she reopened them when she realized his back was to her. Now she was watching him do push-ups, still breathing steadily, wholly absorbed in his routine. Her eyes hungrily scanned his body, keenly aware of his straining muscles and perfectly toned ass. _Shit, what am I doing?!_ She shook the thoughts away, ashamed of her overwhelming desire, and forced herself to sit up and make her presence known.

“Morning,” she mumbled, rising to her feet and stretching widely to wake up her limbs. Ben hopped up and turned to greet her, exposing his bare, glistening chest that was marred only by the wretched scar she had given him on _Starkiller Base_.

“Morning. I ran out and got some fruit and bantha milk if you’re hungry.” He pointed to the food items on the small table next to her rucksack, and she was proud of herself when she managed to peel her eyes away from his sweaty physique to look where he was indicating. She grabbed an oddly shaped greenish piece of fruit and sank her teeth in hungrily. The fruit was surprisingly succulent, and she relished the sweet, tangy juice in her parched mouth. She poured herself a cup of the blue – milk, he had called it – and sat crossed legged on the floor while she devoured her breakfast.

“So what are we doing today?” she asked with a full mouth as miniscule bits of fruit flew everywhere. _Luckily Ben isn’t paying attention_ , she thought nervously, hastily brushing the half-chewed pieces of food off of her pants. She stopped suddenly when he looked over at her, his lips pursed in thought.

“I was actually hoping that you’d accompany me on an excursion…let’s call it a field trip.” Rey frowned at him, puzzled by the request. He explained: “I just thought, after yesterday, that we could use a bit of a break.”

“You mean _I_ could use a bit of a break?” she retorted, still not sure where he was going with this but not wanting to be seen as weak.

“No, _we_ ,” he asserted firmly. “Plus, it’s not just about that…it’s a place I’ve wanted to go since I was a boy.”

“Where, exactly?” Rey asked, genuinely curious.

“The ruins of a moisture farm about 50 miles from here; it was destroyed nearly 35 years ago, but was once owned by a man named Owen Lars…Luke Skywalker’s uncle.”

“Where Master Luke grew up?” Rey gasped, awed at the notion that she would be seeing the childhood home of the legendary Jedi Master.

Ben nodded. “Is that a yes?” he asked at her amazed expression.

“Of course!” she exclaimed, failing to keep the excitement out of her voice. If she was honest with herself, she had never given much thought to Luke’s upbringing. Rarely, if ever, did anyone on Jakku speak of the Jedi, the Resistance, or the war that raged on throughout the galaxy. By the time she met Finn and Han Solo and discovered that Luke Skywalker was not just a myth, she was too caught up in the action to ponder the man behind the legend. And when she finally met Luke she had been too busy trying to understand her own relationship with the Force to question Luke about his life. And following her rescue of the Resistance on Crait she had realized that it was too late…he was gone. But now, visiting Tatooine with Ben Solo of all people, she was given the chance to discover answers to the questions she had never asked. This was a precious opportunity that she wasn’t going to waste. “When can we leave?”

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

The pair were ready to go in no time; Ben exchanged a few more words and credits with the manager of the establishment to secure a landspeeder for the day, and then they were off. Ben insisted on piloting the speeder, though he knew it had annoyed Rey, but he wanted to focus on the journey – getting lost in the Tatooine desert was not on his agenda, _no matter how at-home it may make Rey feel_ , he thought sarcastically. They rode in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and emotions regarding their destination. And just as the sun was hitting its peak in the sky, Ben spotted a series of black mounds protruding from the sand in the distance.

“It think that’s it,” he said, pointing across the landscape to the structures he had spotted. Rey didn’t answer; he glanced at her and saw that her eyes were glued to the spot he had just indicated and her mouth hung open slightly. _This must be fascinating to her_ , he mused as the distant mounds grew closer. _She grew up alone in the Jakku desert…completely cut off from the war and the Resistance and the First Order. And right in front of us is a glimpse into the childhood of a legendary Jedi Master…parentless on a harsh desert world with no connection to the galaxy, save only whispers of the Rebellion and the Empire._ The similarities in their upbringings were striking, and Ben had no doubt that Rey was going over the same comparisons in her head. As the moisture farm loomed closer, however, the sympathy he felt for Rey ebbed as his own emotional ties to the place festered in his mind.

Ben shifted the speeder into neutral and the duo hopped out and walked the rest of the distance to the homestead. They halted when they reached the main compound, scanning their surroundings and taking it all in. The structures themselves had been charred black with fire, though the original tan coloring could still be seen underneath. The numerous domes, weather monitors and moisture vaporators dotted across the farm had also suffered considerable fire damage and stood in various states of disrepair and neglect.

Without warning, the air seemed to escape from Ben’s lungs and his chest constricted, sending waves of panic throughout his body. He sank to his knees in the sand, gasping desperately for breath. The sand around him vibrated violently, disturbed by the shock waves of Force energy radiating from his body. He had known that this place would affect him but he hadn’t known by how much. At once tears began falling freely from his eyes and his head hung low with the weight of dishonor, and of shame for a thousand merciless acts.

“Ben? What’s wrong?!” Rey cried beside him, worried at his sudden outburst.

“I – I…I don’t know,” he groaned between clenched teeth. The pain in his chest had not abated and he had no idea how to explain the sensation to Rey. Besides, he knew that the cause of his suffering was far from physical in nature.

“Let me help you,” she offered, reaching down to grab his arm and pull him to his feet.

“Don’t ─” he insisted, brushing off her help; he preferred to kneel on the ground in his current state. More kindly, he added, “I just need a moment.”

Ben closed his eyes and focused his breathing, willing away the tightness in his chest and the vise grip of shame on his heart. After a few minutes of concentration he managed to regain his composure and, before he could stop it, words began spilling out of his mouth:

“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t worship my grandfather. Even as a boy I idolized him in secret, awed by the tales of his sheer power. As I got older I became obsessed with him…with his great deeds and his ability to inspire fear. I was consumed with the desire to finish what he had started: ending the Jedi, eradicating the opposition, establishing absolute and uncontested control over the galaxy. Every decision I made was governed by my desire to further his legacy. I worshiped the legend of Darth Vader…but Darth Vader was no legend; no divine conqueror. He was a man. Nothing more. No different from Luke except in his choices. Being here, seeing the shithole of a planet he grew up on…I finally have clarity: I worshiped a false god. Snoke once told me I was nothing but a child in a mask…I’m not sure that Vader was any different.” Fresh tears flooded his eyes and he wept. He didn’t care that Rey was watching…his shame and folly were now laid bare for her to see.

“Ben,” she whispered, kneeling down next to him and placing her hand gently on the small of his back. “You were seduced by an unimaginable power: Darth Vader’s legacy. I can’t pretend that I condone all of your choices but─”

“You couldn’t begin to imagine some of the things these hands have done!” Ben growled, extending his hands and turning his palms to the sky for emphasis.

“It doesn’t matter anymore!” she exclaimed in exasperation. “I know you, Ben. I know that you did what you thought was right! You believed wholeheartedly in your convictions. That doesn’t justify what you’ve done, but it does make a difference. It proves that you aren’t just another Vader…it proves that there is goodness left in you.”

Ben turned to look at Rey, not bothering to dry the tears on his cheeks. “I wish I saw myself the same way you see me.”

“Someday you will,” was all she responded.

The panic that had seized his heart and lungs earlier had subsided somewhat, and he managed to slow the pounding of his heart. He stood up and walked to the top of the stairway that led down into the main compound. He paused there, motioning for Rey to join him. Her presence was so calming to him…she was the only way he could get through this experience in one piece.

“I want to look around,” he told her, “but I need you by my side.”

“Of course, Ben.”

Together they descended the stairs into the abandoned home of Luke Skywalker. Slowly, they made their way through the scorched ruins of the compound; they found the remains of a kitchen and dining room, as well as a room containing spare droid parts and machinery. Rey finally broke the silence of their tour through Luke’s early life:

“Did Anakin grow up here too? I have to admit that I know almost nothing about him…in fact, I barely knew anything about Master Luke either.” Her words were hushed, as if speaking too loudly would somehow disturb the wreckage of the home. “Will you tell me about them?”

Ben sighed. For so long he had revered Anakin while hating Luke…reliving their origins was both personal and painful. But if he could talk about it with anyone, it was Rey. He cleared his throat and began telling her everything he knew:

“My parents never talked about Anakin, and they rarely talked about Luke’s past. But I still managed to gather a lot of information over the years, and Snoke eventually helped me fill in the gaps. Anakin Skywalker never lived here; he grew up in slavery with his mother, Shmi, in Mos Espa. When he was still a boy, Anakin won his freedom in a pod-race and left Tatooine with Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. But Shmi remained behind, still enslaved, until a man named Cliegg Lars purchased her freedom and brought her to this moisture farm, where they eventually married. But a few years later she was captured and enslaved by Tusken Raiders…it is said that Anakin had a vision of her suffering and disobeyed Obi-Wan to come here and save her. But he couldn’t save her…Snoke once told me in great detail what happened that night: how Anakin slaughtered an entire village of Tusken Raiders…men, women and children. How he committed his first true act of darkness, an act that emboldened him and gave him power beyond what the Jedi could even imagine. I remember having vivid dreams about that night…but in the dreams it was me, not Anakin, holding the lightsaber.” Ben reminisced silently for a moment, shivering at the memory of his ghastly nightmares. When Rey looked up at him with a sad expression, he shook the thoughts away and continued as if he hadn’t just confessed to having murderous dreams. “Shmi died and Anakin blamed himself for not being able to save her. He never recovered from that guilt. After he married Padme, my grandmother, he had a vision of her dying in childbirth. He refused to lose her like he had lost Shmi…that was the impetus behind his betrayal of the Jedi in favor of Emperor Palpatine: Palpatine promised to save Padme from death. But of course, Anakin became Darth Vader and Padme died while giving birth to Luke and Leia. My mother was entrusted to General Organa and his wife, and Luke was brought back here to Anakin’s brother by marriage, Owen Lars.”

Rey had listened intently as he spoke, clearly savoring his every word. “What happened to this place? What happened to Owen Lars and the rest of their family?” she asked with concerned interest.

Ben stopped and looked down into her wide, intoxicating eyes. He furrowed his brow and explained, “The Empire destroyed them. R2-D2 and C-3PO were being hunted for holding sensitive intelligence; Luke and his uncle were unfortunate enough to come into possession of the droids. Well, the Empire came to investigate when Luke and the droids were out, and the troopers killed Owen Lars and his wife Beru, and they torched the farm. That was the same day that Luke discovered the identity of Obi-Wan Kenobi and began his adventures. That was also the day that Luke met Han Solo…” Ben’s voice drifted off as his thoughts turned to his father, and those thoughts inevitably led to the sickening image of Han Solo’s stunned face as he registered the red lightsaber lodged in his stomach. Once again Ben had to force the disturbing thoughts from his head and bring himself back to reality. Without another word, the pair made their way back outside the compound; the sun was lower in the sky and they only had a couple more hours of sunlight left.

At once, Ben turned to look at a spot only a hundred meters or so from where they were standing. He had felt – or heard, maybe – something calling to him. A quick glance at Rey told him that she had felt the same sensation; she was staring in the same direction with an expression of pure confusion. They both began walking, as if in a trance, towards the mysterious spot. They stopped abruptly when they reached the bare, sandy area.

“I think Anakin’s mother is buried here,” Rey breathed in complete awe. “I have no idea how I know that but─”

“You’re right; I feel it too,” Ben chimed in. It was as if the Force was alerting them to the presence of Shmi’s unmarked grave.

“Why isn’t there a headstone?” Rey asked.

“Maybe Owen removed it because he didn’t want Luke asking questions about his parents,” he suggested, though it was anyone’s guess why the grave was unmarked.

“Seems a bit futile in hindsight, doesn’t it?”

“Mmhm,” Ben sighed, lost in thought.

With no explanation, Rey ran back to the main compound and returned carrying a large piece of broken stone. Ben watched her curiously as she set the stone in the sand and knelt before it, closing her eyes, exhaling sharply and reaching out her hand. The sand around her trembled, and he could feel her fierce concentration through the Force. Ben watched with wide eyes as letters began etching themselves into the stone:

            _Shmi Skywalker_

_Beloved mother and wife_

When she was finished, Rey stood and examined her work. Ben was lost for words at the kind (and impressive) display, so instead he just stood there smiling stupidly down at Rey. As she smiled warmly back at him an idea popped into his mind. He scanned the area and spotted a pile of loose rock near where Rey had collected the first piece of stone. Without much effort he used the Force to summon two large chunks of rock to where they stood and placed them gently next to Shmi’s new grave marker. He looked at Rey questioningly and she nodded, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Rey crouched down before one of the new stones, and Ben mirrored her action by sinking to his knees in front of the third stone. In eerily perfect synchrony, they closed their eyes and reached their hands out towards their respective canvases. After a few minutes of intense focus, they rose and stared down at each other’s work. Rey peered at the stone in front of Ben with tears in her eyes; its inscription read:

            _Anakin Skywalker_

_Fiercely loyal son, husband and father_

_No one is ever truly lost_

Ben stared down at the stone in front of Rey:

            _Luke Skywalker_

_The Last Jedi_

_There is no death, there is the Force_

Rey turned to Ben with wide, sad eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “You once told me to let the past die,” she said with renewed passion in her voice, “and you were right. There is no way forward if we keep holding on to our pasts. For me it’s my failure to bring back Master Luke, my betrayal of the Resistance, and my sins against Leia. For you it’s the betrayal of your family, the atrocities of Kylo Ren, and the murder of Han Solo. There is no way we can accomplish our goals if we don’t close these wounds. We need to let the past die…right here, right now. Will you help me?”

Ben considered her words carefully. He knew that she spoke the truth and, as hard as it was for him to let go of the thoughts and images that haunted him on a daily basis, he knew it was time. “Kill it if you have to,” he murmured, more to himself than to her. “I’m ready.”

Rey summoned a final chunk of stone from the pile of rubble and placed it in line next to the three new grave markers. For a final time she knelt and prepared herself to carve the stone with the Force. When she had finished she turned to Ben and surprised him by wrapping her arms around his mid-section. When the shock of her touch wore off he enclosed her in his arms and the pair stood in heavy silence, hugging each other tightly. The double suns had begun to sink towards the horizon, casting a pinkish hue across the four engraved stones. With a final glace at the graveyard, Ben and Rey turned and walked back to the speeder. Together they sped off towards Mos Eisley, leaving behind the moisture farm, their painful pasts, and a final headstone that read:

            _Kylo Ren and the Jakku Scavenger_

_There is no light without darkness_

_There is no peace without balance_


	10. Awakening

The faint luminescence of hundreds of flickering lights created a hazy glow above the otherwise dark desert. As the landspeeder drew farther away from the moisture farm, Ben felt his heavy burden – the one he’d metaphorically carried on his shoulders since he was a teenager – slowly lifting. It was as if each mile of separation from the graveyard removed yet another small weight from his conscience. And now, as they approached Mos Eisley, Ben felt lighter and happier than he had been in a long time. _In fact, I can’t remember ever feeling this good_ , he thought cheerfully. His entire mood had shifted to become more buoyant and bright – almost giddy. _And that is not a word I ever thought would be used to describe me…_

Ben glanced over at Rey and saw that she was looking as positive as he felt. For a brief moment as he stared at her the words _radiant_ and _dazzling_ flashed across his mind, but he shook them away quickly: that line of thinking could be a dangerous path given his current state of euphoric confidence. Looking away hurriedly so that she wouldn’t catch him ogling her, Ben asked hopefully, “Do you want to head back to the cantina? I’m feeling a bit too animated to even consider sleep yet.”

“I was hoping you would say that!” she said excitedly. “I’m wide awake and would not turn down a drink or two…that is, if you’re buying.” She gave him a sultry, teasing smile that left Ben’s head spinning; he swallowed hard and only just managed to compose himself enough that she didn’t notice his struggle.

 

Before he knew it, Ben was sitting across from Rey in a dark corner of the cantina, sipping a pint of grog – though it tasted more like bantha piss – and talking light-heartedly about the most _normal_ topics. It was odd…for how well he knew her and how deeply his feelings towards her were, they had never really had an ordinary conversation. _Not that I’m in the routine of chatting with my peers about day-to-day life_ , he mused. No matter, he found it extremely refreshing to forget about the war and their opposing allegiances and just talk about the most frivolous matters. Plus, he was discovering that Rey had yet another talent he could admire: she was funny. It had been years since he’d had a good laugh, but now he couldn’t stop the roars of laughter that shook his body and left a permanent, stupid grin plastered on his face. He watched in silent appreciation as she dove into a monologue about their newest topic of conversation: General Hux.

“Seriously, though, what does that guy do in his spare time? I mean, obviously he spends most of his time devising ridiculous schemes to thwart the Resistance, but at some point he has to rest and do something…fun!” She threw her arms up in the air with an enthusiastic flourish that almost sent Ben’s grog toppling into his lap. Acting quickly, though, he managed to stop the liquid in mid-air, upright the glass, and send the alcohol back into the glass with just a flick of his fingers. Rey paid no attention to the near-miss and instead continued her excited rant. “I bet he entertains himself by rehearsing warmongering speeches in the mirror. Oooh! Or he forces stormtroopers to bow to him just for fun!” She chuckled at the thought while Ben grinned and rolled his eyes.

“Hux doesn’t have _fun_! His idea of fun is sitting on war councils and attending strategy meetings. Trust me, the man does not have any hobbies!”

“Oh come on!” she protested, “Everyone needs _something_ to distract themselves from everyday life. Even Hux. You can’t tell me you’ve never seen him have any fun!”

“I haven’t, truly!” he asserted, laughing. Her eyes narrowed in clear disbelief and mock anger.

“Benjamin Solo, you liar!” she teasingly cried – perhaps too loud given their proximity to a crowd of villainous cantina patrons, but Ben was enjoying himself too much to care.

“Did you just call me Benjamin?!” He howled with laughter. In response to his amusement, she hopped out of her side of the booth and squeezed in on the opposite side next to Ben, crowding his space and putting her face dangerously close to his. Her eyes were bright and full of mirth as she met his stare. _Damn, she even smells good_ , he realized as something fluttered violently in his stomach. Having her pressed up against him in the booth was almost too much to bear; he cleared his throat and pulled back slightly, but she scooted even closer.

“He never did anything except for work?”

“No!”

“He never had a drink at the bar with friends? Never had any suitors calling on him at all hours of the night?!”

“No! It’s not exactly like Starkiller Base or any of the Star Destroyers were designed with _fun_ in mind, anyways!” he exclaimed in exaggerated exasperation. Rey broke out into a fit of hysterics and Ben chuckled at the ridiculousness of their discussion.

“What did you do for fun, then?” she managed to ask between gasps of air.

Ben thought honestly about her question as his laughter subsided. “I guess I didn’t have fun either.”

“Ben!” she cried with dramatized incredulity. She grabbed his hand and moved – if possible – even closer to him. Ben’s breath caught in his throat and he froze, his eyes locked on hers and his mouth hanging slightly ajar. Her closeness was exhilarating…he hadn’t even finished his third ale and yet he felt intoxicated by her presence. Heat burned his cheeks and something churned uncomfortably in his stomach. He had made a move on her once…tried to escalate their relationship to something more…physical. But she had rejected his advances and made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy. But now, sitting scrunched together with her in the booth, their faces mere inches apart, he felt an almost overwhelming urge to kiss those perfect lips of her. It took every ounce of his will-power not to give in to her invigorating appeal. Luckily, she interrupted his – definitely inappropriate – thoughts by squeezing his hand tightly and resuming her teasing.

“Tell me one thing you’ve done for fun in all your years with the First Order. There has to be something! One thing!”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you, Rey! But if I wasn’t having fun then, I certainly am now.” He hadn’t meant for the last sentence to sound so suggestive, but without consciously intending to his voice had lowered (both in volume and pitch) and his expression had shifted from playful laughter to something more provocative. Rey blushed bright red and she smiled nervously, but did not drop her gaze. Noticing her reaction, Ben’s ego soared…it was thrilling to know he could affect her like that. _Maybe she does want me the way I want her_ , he considered with a jolt of hope.

“Let’s get out of here,” Rey suggested, extracting herself from the booth and pulling Ben along with her.

Ben allowed her to drag him away from the table and out into the dry desert air; he was barely cognizant of anything except her soft, small hand gripped firmly in his own. Feeling the familiar warmth of arousal in his gut, he knew he was in serious trouble…

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Rey pushed the door open and stumbled inside the dark room, fumbling blindly for the light switch. The lights flickered on and she turned to see Ben with his hand on the switch and amusement etched across his face.

“Light’s over here,” he teased.

“Shut up,” she grumbled, though she couldn’t suppress a soft laugh. When her laugh faded, she found herself and Ben standing a few yards apart and staring awkwardly at each other. The smile slowly faded from his face and in its place was a more intense look…something Rey had seen on his face once before. Her cheeks grew hot and she looked away quickly, suddenly nervous.

Ben must have sensed her discomfort; he cleared his throat and mumbled, “Umm, I – uh, ‘fresher.”

He walked hurriedly past her and closed the door of the washroom behind him. Now alone, Rey laid her palms flat on the wall and bowed her head, allowing her built up emotions to come crashing down around her. _What the hell am I doing?!_ she thought wildly. _Am I crazy? I am sick? Shit!_ The reality of her situation struck her like a lightsaber to the chest. _I’m flirting with the Supreme Leader of the First Order! And I’m enjoying it!_ She placed her forehead on the wall and moaned quietly. _Where is this going?_ _Where do I_ want _this to go?!_ She moaned again out of pain and conflict. She knew she was in trouble…she wanted him. _Wanted_ him. And desperately so. She had tried to deny her feelings up until now, but she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. _And he wants me too…badly,_ she knew. _Force!_ She heard water running in the refresher and knew Ben would be emerging any moment…but she still had no idea what to do. She was completely out of her element here: she had never been so attracted to a man in all of her life, much less one that she was permanently connected to through the Force. _Oh, and not to mention who murdered his father and tried to murder me and everyone I love in this galaxy…_

The door to the washroom opened and Ben stood in the doorway – _looking as appealing as ever_ , Rey groaned internally. They smiled awkwardly at each other, and Rey’s eyes followed his movements as he walked to the wardrobe and removed the folded up blankets he had slept on the previous night. With his back still to her, he began talking as he unlaced his boots.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier…about suitors lining up at Hux’s door.” He chuckled softly. “Well, Hux never had many visitors to his private quarters, but one night I was walking back from the training center around midnight and I did see someone leaving his room. It was an officer…Gideon Hask, I think. And as I recall he was hastily straightening his uniform. Of course I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now that you’ve put the idea in my head…” Ben laughed again softly and shook his head. _I love that laugh_ , Rey thought as she watched him. He pulled off his last boot and stood up straight, tossing the pair to the corner. _He has a good sense of humor, too._

Apparently confused by her unusual silence, Ben turned around and stared inquisitively at Rey. “Sorry!” she said, recovering. “Yeah, I don’t know how many Generals have private business meetings in the middle of the night…sounds fishy.” _And he’s pretty easy on the eyes…_

Ben smiled and then turned back to face the wardrobe once more. Rey walked to her rucksack in the corner, trying to look like she was doing something other than leering creepily at him, but she continued to glance at him over her shoulder. She froze mid-step when he began peeling his shirt off over his head. The muscles in his back and arms flexed with the movement, showing off his well-toned upper body. Rey’s heart leapt into her throat. _This is too much_ , she thought nervously. Not only was she drawn to him emotionally, mentally, and through the Force, but now she was unbearably attracted to him. Her resolve to stay away from him physically was very quickly weakening.

“You okay, Rey?” he asked as he turned back to face her. “You’re quiet all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, fine. Just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” He eyed her seriously, his expression a mixture of concern and curiosity.

“Oh, nothing important,” she assured him, though they both knew she was lying. He gave her a last probing stare before shrugging and turning his attention to re-making his bed of blankets on the floor. Before she realized what she was doing, Rey found herself crossing the room and joining Ben at the base of his make-shift bed. He looked down at her and she met his gaze, transfixed by the depth of emotion in his dark eyes.

“Ben,” she began softly, but paused. He didn’t respond, just continued staring at her. Rey’s eyes shifted to the scar on his cheek, and then down to the deepest part of the scar on his chest. “I hate that I gave this to you,” she whispered. She reached out nervously and placed her fingers on the scar where it crossed his collarbone. Slowly and gently, she traced the scar’s downward path with her fingertips. His skin was soft and warm under her touch, and she felt something like electricity pass between their exposed, connected skin. When her fingers reached the end of the scar, Ben reached up with his own hand and grabbed hers roughly, pressing it flat against his chest.

“Don’t,” he warned, his voice soft yet husky.

“Don’t what?” she whispered, though she knew full well what he meant. In this moment she didn’t care. She didn’t care about the promises she had made to herself not to get too close to him. She didn’t care about complicating their already complicated relationship. She only cared about one thing: _him_. She took a step closer to him, pressing her body up against his lightly.

“Don’t tease me, Rey!” Ben bellowed suddenly, extending his arm forward and sending Rey staggering backwards with the Force. She hit the wall behind her with immense force and stood, dazed, staring at him. Breathing heavily, he approached her, a feral look in his eyes.

“I-I’m not,” she stammered, still frozen against the wall with shock.

He was now standing so close that she could smell him…the faint yet intoxicating scents of spice, musk, and sweat. He towered ominously over her and reached out to grab her jaw roughly between his thumb and fingers, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Do you want me, Rey?” he purred, his voice deep and gravelly; the rough words sent shivers down her spine and heat pooled in her lower belly. She licked her lips in response, having no sensible answer to the question. Ben cocked his head slightly to the side and smirked knowingly. He lowered his face slowly to hers until their lips were nearly touching. Then he whispered, so softly she could barely hear him: “I want you.”

All at once his lips were on hers and his body pressed hers firmly against the wall. Before she knew it her hands were tangled in his hair, pulling him in even closer; his hands closed in around her waist and he lifted her off of the floor, holding her tightly as she wrapped her legs around him. He slammed her back into the wall and kissed her more deeply, one hand now cupping her butt and the other travelling up her side. Rey was lost in the moment…overwhelmed by the intensity of her emotions. The chemistry between them was undeniable, and she could feel his fierce desire for her both physically and through their bond. The room sizzled with Force energy that ricocheted off the walls and heightened their mutual need for each other. Ben kissed her neck and a soft moan escaped her lips; he pulled his head back and smiled lustfully at her before leaning in to kiss her again. Rey’s thoughts became clouded as his hand found one of her breasts and he squeezed it lightly over her clothes. She moaned again and, in response, he grabbed the bottom of her shirt and ripped it off aggressively over her head. Ben pulled back and examined her nakedness hungrily.

“You’re stunning,” he breathed before trailing kisses down her neck towards her chest. Rey closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, savoring every touch of his hands and lips on her sensitive skin. When his lips found her chest she exhaled sharply; he flicked his tongue across her nipple and she shivered at the sensation. His lips and tongue felt incredible as they continued exploring her chest and neck; she wound her fingers more tightly in his messy hair and forced his face up to meet hers.

Now he was extracting her legs from around his waist and setting her feet back down on the floor. He knelt before her and began unlacing her pants, planting soft kisses on her stomach as he worked. She helped him remove her final pieces of clothing, and then she was standing before him, completely naked. She should have felt exposed or self-conscious, but instead she felt desirable as she watched Ben taking in her bare body with a look of pure longing etched across his face. As he stood up to kiss her again, he began backing her towards the bed – Rey didn’t have to guess what he had in mind. The back of her knees hit the bed and she fell backwards on it into a sitting position. She immediately began fumbling with the complicated laces on his trousers, and Ben could tell she was struggling with the task. He laughed softly and reached down to help, but Rey brushed his hands away in frustration and used the Force to rip the laces straight out of his trousers. _He can deal with those tomorrow_ , she thought brusquely and began pulling down on the black leggings. Ben shoved her backwards on the bed and finished removing his trousers himself; he was left wearing nothing but skin-tight underwear. Rey couldn’t help but notice just how much he wanted her…it was quite evident through the tight black material. As he stood at the edge of the bed he paused, studying Rey’s nakedness as she lay sprawled across the bed waiting. With a lustful groan he removed the final piece of clothing and crawled onto the bed, pinning Rey beneath him. She was temporarily stunned by his size…he was obviously a burly guy, but something about being trapped under his naked body made her truly appreciate his dimensions. She ran her hands over the muscles in his arms and shoulders… _damn, he is ripped_ , she thought in silent wonder.

And suddenly he was trailing kisses down her chest and abdomen, moving painfully slowly southwards and past her belly. She shuddered with intense pleasure as his lips and tongue explored an area she never imagined a man’s mouth would go. Before long she was moaning loudly and gasping for breath, consumed with an overwhelming need that she’d never experienced before.

But Ben stopped without warning and Rey groaned angrily. “Please don’t stop!” she whimpered, wild with the craving for release. He smiled smugly but did not continue. Instead he ran a greedy hand down the length of his manhood, and Rey felt a second, impossibly more powerful desire for him that flamed the fire already burning between her thighs. He bent over and placed his hand under her ass, lifting her hips and dragging her closer to him. Suddenly, he was inside of her, rocking his hips back and forth and moaning loudly. She inhaled sharply, feeling a bizarre mixture of pleasure and pain. As Ben drove himself deeper inside her, the pain slowly faded and she was able to relish the full, electrifying feeling of their newest form of connection. Rey didn’t know how much time passed…her thoughts were swirling with hunger for Ben and a barrage of new, indescribably pleasurable sensations. But all too soon they were on the edge of release, frenzied with carnal desire. Ben moaned Rey’s name softly into her neck and she came apart around him, arching her back and quivering with pleasure. Feeling her climax, Ben groaned deeply and peaked, shuddering violently on top of Rey as she felt him throbbing inside her. After a long moment of heavy panting, Ben rolled off of Rey and jumped out of bed. He began pacing back and forth, his head in his hands.

“Shit! I shouldn’t have let that happen!” He glanced at Rey as he paced, a dark expression on his face. “The other night you said you weren’t ready and…I wanted to honor that. Truly! I just got so caught up ─”

“Stop!” she interrupted him, struggling to her own feet despite legs that now felt like jelly. She approached him and, placing her hands gently on his hips, stood on her tip-toes and kissed him deeply. When they broke apart she said, “I wanted that, Ben! I know what I said the other day but…I do want you. I want the future we’ve planned and I want _this_ too.” She motioned with her hand between herself and him.

“So what just happened was…okay?”

“Okay?!” she repeated incredulously. “You tell me, Ben. Was what just happened _okay_ for you?”

Ben smiled, slightly abashed, and admitted, “It was a hell of a lot better than _okay_.”

Rey’s stomach knotted at his words and his accompanying shy smile. _Even after what just happened he still gives me butterflies_ , she considered briefly. Ben leaned down and kissed her passionately and Rey marveled at how quickly her feelings of arousal returned after what had just been a very…fulfilling…experience. She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in closer, relishing the sweet taste of his lips. Crushed up against his body, Rey could feel Ben’s hardness returning and pressing against her, and she knew she was in for a long night.


	11. Revelations

The first tendrils of light stretched out across the sky outside, basking the room in an orange and pink glow. Ben peered out the window from his place in bed and watched the colors of the sky change as dawn rolled in. He glanced down at Rey, sleeping peacefully next to him, and smiled reflexively. The early morning light illuminated her face and glistened off of her naked body. _She is truly radiant_ , he mused silently. If he was being honest, he was in complete awe that she was lying here next to him at all. _What have I ever done to deserve this?_

Rey sighed softly and shifted in her sleep, curling up even closer to his body. Ben reached out a hand and gently stroked her hair, careful not to wake her. He reflected on the previous day: the emotional start at the Lars moisture farm and the exciting evening in the pub…not to mention what happened afterwards. _Well, what happened four times afterwards_ , he smugly corrected himself. Even now he could feel an intense craving for her, but he wanted to let her rest. _Will I ever get tired of doing that?_ He seriously doubted it. Beside him, Rey stirred again and pressed her face against his chest before resuming her soft snoring; Ben’s heart fluttered at her touch. _Is this normal?_ The unbidden thought entered his mind abruptly. _Do normal people feel this strongly about other people?_ He had never exactly been close to his peers, and his relationship with his family growing up was…strained. He had absolutely no reference for his feelings towards Rey. The only romantic relationship he’d ever been close to was his parents’, and they weren’t exactly role models. _Between Han and Leia fighting every time they were in the same room and Luke taking his Jedi celibacy vows seriously, I’ve never actually seen a healthy, functioning relationship._

He stared down at Rey and studied her face. _All I know is that I can’t lose her_. He realized with a start that he would do anything… _anything_ …for her. _Did Han feel that way about my mother? If so, what good is love, anyways? It only caused them heartache in the end. Is that where we’re headed? Is that where love is going to take us?_ Before he could ponder the question further, he registered the full weight of his thought: love. _Love_. He blinked rapidly and furrowed his brow, concentrating on his newest revelation. _Do I love her? Is that what this feeling is?_ Despite having no experiential context for intimacy, he knew immediately that it was true. _Damn, I love her_. He smiled down at her tranquil figure and warmth radiated through his limbs. In that moment he didn’t know what dangers his future held, or where exactly his path may take him, but he found comfort in the fact that he wouldn’t be facing the future alone. _I will have her with me_ , he thought with amazement. _She is mine_.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Rey’s eyes fluttered open and she stared, unfocused, at the ceiling above her. She had been yanked unceremoniously from a rather pleasant dream involving herself and Ben… _hold on_ … At once the events of the previous night came crashing back into her memory and she blushed a furious shade of scarlet. She scanned the room in a panic and spotted Ben in a chair in the corner with his nose in one of the Jedi texts. Rey began to rise out of bed, but sank back in hastily when she realized she was naked…not a shred of clothing to cover herself with. Sensing her movement, Ben glanced up from the dusty book and smiled at her, the effect of which deepened her cheeks’ already brilliant shade of red. _I must be mad_ , she thought; though, if she were honest with herself, regret was not among the range of emotions she was currently experiencing.

“I got some more milk to go with the leftover pallie fruit.” Ben rose from his seat and offered a cup of the blue milk to Rey.

“Oh, um, thanks,” she responded awkwardly, grabbing the proffered cup and sitting up to take a sip. She held the blanket tightly to herself, careful to keep everything covered…it seemed as though her self-confidence from the previous night had disappeared out the window while she slept.

“You okay?” Ben asked, frowning at her obvious discomfort.

“Yeah, I just…I don’t know. Last night was…” Her words drifted off.

“Amazing?” Ben offered. “Incredible? The best night of your life?” He raised his eyebrows and smiled overindulgently in a clear effort to break the tension. Rey smiled automatically and began giggling softly. But once she had started laughing, she found that she couldn’t stop. Between their torrid night and the absurdity of their current situation, Rey was so confused and overwhelmed with emotions that she howled with laughter so potent it made her abdomen ache. Ben joined in as well, and the pair chuckled until they were doubled-over and panting for breath.

“I’m s-sorry,” Rey finally managed to get out. “I don’t even know why I’m laughing!”

“Was it the sex? Am I that bad?” Ben groaned in mock distress, still clutching his sides.

“I didn’t want to bring it up, but…now that you mention it…” Rey flashed Ben a teasing grin and straightened up slowly as her laughter gradually subsided.

“Damn, I really thought I was getting the hang of it…”

Silence fell over the duo then as they regained their composure from the inappropriate episode of hilarity. Before the awkwardness had a chance to fully overpower their conversation, Rey broke the silence:

“What are we going to do, Ben?”

“What exactly are you referring to?”

“ _This_. Us. Last night was…well…something else…” her cheeks burned white-hot again, “…but we can’t keep that up, can we? With everything we have left to do I’m not sure that it’s a good idea.”

“Just say what you want to say, Rey, and stop beating around the bush.” Annoyance was plain in his voice.

“I don’t think we should have sex again,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Is that clear enough for you?” She knew she shouldn’t have snapped at him, but she didn’t like where his tone was heading.

Ben turned his back to her and threw his hands up in frustration. “What the hell, Rey? You said last night that you wanted this! What’s changed since then?!”

His words did not sit well with Rey. _We have sex a few times and now he thinks he owns me or something?!_ She hopped out of bed, still clutching the blanket around herself. “I did want it, and now I don’t.”

“Force!” He paced angrily for a few moments before exhaling loudly and turning to Rey with a miserable expression. “Please just talk to me…I don’t understand what went wrong. I don’t know about you but I’ve never felt that good in my entire life.”

At once Rey felt guilty. He was obviously hurt by her words, and she hadn’t exactly been nice – or even fully honest – with him. The truth was that she _did_ want an intimate relationship with him. Even at that exact moment she felt the familiar, unbearable attraction to him. But she also knew the hardships they had in front of them, and distractions of any kind would be catastrophic to their plans. _Especially distractions that appealing_ , she thought bitterly.

She swallowed her pride and took a new, kinder approach to the situation: “Look, Ben, I didn’t really mean all of that. Last night was perfect…too perfect. If we keep sex on the table then I’m afraid we won’t get anything done. Honestly! Like right now: we should be planning our next steps in the war, but instead we’re fighting over whether or not to have sex! And if we weren’t fighting over sex then we’d probably be _having_ sex right now. Am I wrong?”

“Well, no, I guess not,” he admitted reluctantly.

“All I’m saying is that, for the time-being, we put the physical stuff to the side. We need to focus all of our efforts on the war. And then, after we’ve actually accomplished something, we can reconsider.” Rey looked up at Ben hopefully; it was imperative that they were on the same side in all of this…they needed to remain in perfect sync if they had any chance of attaining the future they’d seen in the Force vision.

“I know you’re right, but I’m not even sure it’s possible.” He took a step towards her and placed one hand behind her neck. “I don’t think I can keep my hands off of you, Rey.” His voice was intoxicatingly rough and Rey shivered when his other hand found her waist. He pulled her closer and kissed her slowly, softly.

“Ben, I ─” she started, but was cut off by his lips on hers. She allowed him to kiss her more deeply this time, and when he tugged at the blanket she held around herself she didn’t resist; it fell to the floor in a heap around her ankles. _One more time_ , she thought in surrender, _and then I am serious about this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided on doing 21 chapters for this fic, so we're just over halfway now. Thanks again to everyone who is reading, and I hope you keep enjoying it. There is some really fun/emotional/vicious/crazy stuff coming up in the next half (at least I think so and hopefully you'll agree)!! Happy reading :)


	12. Strategy

Jawas, Gamorreans and Dugs alike crowded a tiny café on the outskirts of Mos Eisley, speaking in hushed voices and strange languages over greasy breakfast platters and jugs of bantha milk. At the back of the café sat two humans, both wearing hooded cloaks and huddled over a table, engrossed in conversation. Kylo Ren had discovered this place – a run-down dive where vermin could do business with no questions asked – years ago on an errand for Snoke. He returned to it now as Ben Solo, knowing it was the perfect place for two highly recognizable, highly valuable individuals to discuss high-priority information without attracting attention. He and Rey had stumbled into the café hours ago, but were still busy formulating their plans in excruciating detail.

Ben was trying his hardest to concentrate fully on strategizing, but other issues kept finding their way into his thoughts. After all, it had only been two nights ago that he and Rey had slept together. And, as if that hadn’t been enough to distract him, Rey had then suggested that they discontinue their physical relationship for the time being. _Not that the embargo lasted very long_ , he bragged internally as he recalled the previous day’s steamy beginning. But after that Rey had insisted on taking sex out of the equation…and he knew that this time she meant it. As disappointed and frustrated as he was to return to a celibate existence, he knew deep down that it was for the best. _If sex was still an option, I’m not sure we’d ever have made it out of the room_ , he reflected begrudgingly. The important thing now was figuring out how the hell they were going to pull off any of their plans. With serious effort Ben pushed all of his complicated thoughts of Rey to the side and returned his focus to the issue at hand: usurping complete control of the First Order.

“Listen to me, Rey. We need to get rid of more than just Hux…with the entire leadership of the First Order cleared out, it should be easy to manipulate the remaining lower-level officers. If we leave anyone alive that is loyal to Hux then we may have a bigger issue on our hands. It’s the only way.” Ben had been through this argument countless times already, but Rey was having a difficult time consenting to what she called “unnecessary casualties”. As far as he was concerned, the more First Order officers out of the way the better, but convincing Rey was proving to be a struggle.

“I hate the thought of killing anyone without even giving them the choice to join us. It’s cruel and potentially wasteful. Those officers could turn out to be assets to our new cause, for all you know!” She was clearly passionate about her convictions, but Ben sensed her defenses weakening.

“You don’t know these men like I do. They didn’t get to their positions of power by being decent, reasonable people. Trust me! The majority of the upper-level officers are Hux’s lackeys, and they will kill us before they hear us out.”

“I know but─”

“You have to trust me on this. I don’t want to kill needlessly either, but this is absolutely necessary if we want control of the First Order. Otherwise we might as well forget the whole thing.” He stared deeply into Rey’s conflicted eyes, hoping to convey his sincerity and the gravity of his words.

Rey closed her eyes and sighed heavily before yielding: “As much as I detest the idea, I think you may be right. I trust your judgement. I’m in.”

Ben nodded his appreciation but was careful not to show his excitement. _The last thing I need is for her to think I’m still some blood hungry monster_. He decided to immediately press the subject to prevent her from backing out of the plan later on. “It’s one thing to say you’re ready, and another thing entirely to face down a host of enemies with the intent of massacring every last one of them. Is that something you are truly prepared for?”

She raised her eyebrows and glowered at him. “You’ve seen me fight. You know I can handle myself.”

“Good.” He had been hoping for that reaction.

“So how exactly are we going to get all of the bigwigs in one room?” she asked seriously.

“I’ve actually been pondering that question for a few weeks now, and I think I’ve come up with a half-decent plan,” he responded nonchalantly.

“I see…I guess you assumed I’d fold to your mass murder plan eventually, then?” Rey raised her eyebrows once more in annoyance. Ben didn’t bother feeling guilty; he had indeed reckoned that she’d warm up to the plan in the end, so of course he’d been mulling over possible solutions ahead of time.

“Pretty much, yeah,” he admitted shamelessly. Rey didn’t have a response to that. Instead she nodded her head and Ben took it as an invitation to share his proposal.

“It’s a simple plan, really. Before meeting you here I told Hux that I was leaving to follow up on a lead concerning your whereabouts.” A shocked expression crossed Rey’s face, but Ben ignored it and continued. “He’ll be expecting me back any time now, and he won’t be surprised if you’re with me. I’ll bring you in as a prisoner and announce your impending execution. Hux will want a large crowd…he _is_ under the impression that you killed Snoke, after all…”

“Wait, what?!”

“Long story, I’ll tell you later,” he replied hastily and moved on before she could question him further. “We gather the leadership in an assembly chamber under the false pretense, and then…we kill them.” When Rey looked unimpressed, he added, “They won’t suspect a thing until it’s too late. And this way we can ensure that the majority of the officers will be weaponless; they won’t bother arming themselves for something as mundane as an execution.”

“I suppose I’ve heard worse plans…” she sighed, but then she gave him a small smile.

“Does that mean you’re on board?” He looked at her hopefully. She grabbed his hand across the table and squeezed it gently; Ben’s heart leapt at the small display of affection.

“I’m with you.” They exchanged shy smiles before Rey spoke up again. “Now that that’s settled, what are we going to do about the Resistance?”

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

“I think we need to focus on Finn. He was my first and closest friend, and he is the only one we saw in the Force vision,” Rey said. The tables had turned on their conversation and now she was the one trying to persuade Ben about how to proceed. So far he was surprisingly complaisant, but she sensed that he was concealing an underlying grudge against Finn. _It could have something to do with the fact that Finn deserted the First Order, helped Poe Dameron escape imprisonment, abetted the return of BB-8 to the Resistance, and faced off against him in a lightsaber duel on Starkiller Base…all while Ben was still loyal to Snoke._ When she thought about it like that, she was surprised that Ben was even hearing her plan out. _He really is changing_ , she mused admiringly.

“I’ll defer to your judgement on this one.”

“Thank you,” she said with complete sincerity. “But we still have to figure out how to contact him. Poe will have moved the entire Resistance operation out of Dantooine after my…departure.” The memory of her escape from the Resistance base flooded her mind and caused her stomach to squirm violently, but she shoved the morbid thoughts aside and refocused on the dilemma at hand. “I have no clue where they would have headed next. And I doubt if anyone will be activating the other half of my cloaked binary beacon any time soon…”

“So all we need to do is find someone that knows where the Resistance is. Someone who we might be able to convince to give us their location.”

“Where the hell are we going to find someone like that?” Rey muttered miserably.

“I have someone in mind, actually. But I can guarantee she won’t be happy to see me…” As Ben spoke, Rey suddenly registered the object of his implication.

“ _Maz?!_ ” she exclaimed with renewed enthusiasm. “That’s brilliant! Of course she’ll be in contact with the Resistance. Do you think she’ll help us?!”

“I think there’s a 50:50 chance that she’ll either kill me or help you,” he said with poorly concealed bitterness.

“That’s a better chance than anything I had planned!” Rey was overcome with optimism – hopefully not misguided optimism – at the new suggestion. She was far from sure that Maz would divulge the Resistance’s secret, but at least now they had a plan of action. “Then it’s decided,” she announced cheerfully. “We’ll go to Takodana and persuade Maz to get us in touch with Finn.”

“Alright,” Ben agreed solemnly. “But first we deal with Hux.”


	13. Coup

The vast twilight of space loomed in front of him as he stood at the massive observation window of the _Finalizer_. He’d had a rough night, and it was beginning to wear on him. Dark circles ringed his eyes and his red hair was unusually disheveled. General Hux turned his back on the infinite expanse of twinkling stars and sank into a nearby chair. He had been awake for nearly forty hours now and, though he should be retiring to his quarters to rest, he knew he wouldn’t find sleep. His failures over the past few months had finally caught up to him and he was sick with disillusionment. Nearly six months had passed with no word of the treacherous rebel scum they had been hunting…until last night. At twenty-one hundred his soldiers had intercepted an encrypted communication to Admiral Poe of the Resistance. Hux had personally overseen the decryption of the message, which identified an abandoned rebel base on Dantooine as their newest hiding spot. A squadron of troopers had been dispatched immediately to confirm the intelligence, but they were too late: the base had been deserted very recently…within the past three days, they had guessed. Hux clenched his fists and grunted as the unbearable disappointment washed over him in fresh waves. They were no closer now to finding the Resistance base than they had been half a year ago…

Rationally, Hux knew that seeking out the rebels was not a matter of life or death. The First Order already had military control over all of the major star systems, and a large proportion of minor systems. But Hux had borne the task as something of a personal vendetta…he despised the traitorous filth that composed their ranks and wanted to see that filth erased from the galaxy. Especially the murderous Jakku scavenger that Ren had become so obsessed with…

Hux’s thoughts turned to Kylo Ren and the girl Rey. Five days ago Ren had departed without warning based on some sketchy intel concerning the girl’s whereabouts. Ren had spewed his excuses to Hux in a hurry before flying off in a transport to Force-knows-where. His contempt for the Supreme Leader brought heat to his face and neck. _Where is he, anyways?_ he thought angrily. _He should have been back days ago_. Not that he particularly wanted to see the man – nor was he looking forward to delivering the news of his most recent failure – but he was getting irritated. _He abandons his army for days at a time with barely a reason…he won’t be Supreme Leader for long if he keeps this up._ Hux rose from his chair and walked to the window once more, unable to stay still for long in his current state. _If Ren wants a warm reception he better have the scavenger with him in cuffs…or pieces_.

As if on cue, the door to the observation deck whirred open and a single stormtrooper rushed into the room.

“Sir, Kylo Ren has returned. He requests an audience with you.”

Hux sighed nervously, though not loud enough for the trooper to hear; he now wished that Ren had stayed away longer. “For what purpose?” he asked the messenger with as much authority as he could muster.

“Sir, he has a prisoner with him. A female. He wishes for you to summon every general and Knight of Ren aboard the _Finalizer_ to the assembly chamber. There he will perform the execution of the prisoner.”

Hux flashed the soldier a sinister smile. _He has done it_ , he marveled silently _. Ren has captured the wretched scavenger…I will savor every moment of watching the life drain from her eyes._ “Alert the other members of High Command and send word to the Knights. I want them in the assembly chamber within the hour.”

“Yes sir.” The stormtrooper nodded and exited the room in haste. Alone once more, Hux allowed himself a brief moment of gratification before charging out of the room towards the officers’ quarters.

 

Forty-five minutes later General Hux found himself in the mighty assembly room, surrounded by the other leaders of the First Order. A few faces were missing – four generals that were aboard other Star Destroyers and almost half of the Knights of Ren that were currently deployed across the galaxy on various missions – but the turn-out was impressive. Two High Command officers (not counting himself), eight generals, five admirals, and six Knights of Ren were scattered around the room and waiting with barely-contained excitement. Hux knew he wasn’t the only First Order member that had lusted for the scavenger’s blood after she killed Supreme Leader Snoke. For most of the occupants of the room, this execution was highly anticipated and long overdue. Hux quickly ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it, and then moved to the front of the crowd so as to be closest to the center of the room.

The blast doors opened and all sound and movement in the room ceased as every occupant simultaneously paused and held their breath. Kylo Ren stormed into the room dragging a young girl roughly by the arm. Off to his left, Hux glimpsed the Knights of Ren collectively sink to one knee to bow before their Master. Kylo Ren paid them no regard; he halted a few feet in front of Hux and tossed the prisoner to the ground. She laid in a heap on the floor, slowly scanning the room with worried eyes. Hux studied Kylo Ren with renewed respect and only a shadow of disdain. For years he had detested the man-child and never understood why the Supreme Leader had shown him considerable favor. And since Kylo Ren had risen as the new Supreme Leader, Hux had only despised him more thoroughly. But now, as Ren towered over the scavenger with murder in his eyes, Hux could not help but see a glimpse of true greatness in him. _Maybe this is what Snoke had seen all along_ , he wondered.

“Supreme Leader Ren, I see you have brought along a guest,” Hux announced loudly, eyeing the prisoner once more with a menacing sneer. The girl looked up at him with narrowed eyes that mirrored his own hatred. After a long moment in which he and the prisoner glowered ominously at each other, Hux turned his attention back to Ren, who had remained eerily silent. “Would you care to introduce us to your friend?” he asked, this time with an irritated edge to his voice.

Kylo Ren did not respond directly to him; rather, he stepped over the girl and brushed past Hux before addressing the entire room: “The scavenger I bring before you today is no other than the apprentice of deceased Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. She is partially responsible for the destruction of Starkiller Base, and wholly responsible for the assassination of Supreme Leader Snoke. She has evaded retribution for too long. Today she will bow before us and perish in the name of justice!”

The chamber buzzed with energy as the officers and Knights greedily absorbed every word from Kylo Ren’s mouth. Hux’s eyes were wide with arousal and exhilaration. He took a step towards the prisoner until he was looming over her crumpled form on the floor. “Today the wicked will be rightfully punished!” Hux bellowed before delivering a gut-wrenching kick to the girl’s stomach. Behind him came the distinctive crackling sound of a lightsaber igniting. Suddenly terrified, he whipped around searching for the source of the noise. His jaw dropped in horror as the deathly red glow of a lightsaber tore through the air and hurtled towards his face…

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

The severed head of General Hux landed on the floor with a sickening thud. Blood splattered everything within a fifteen foot range of the decapitated body, including the face of the girl who was now rising to her knees in the middle of the room. The general’s headless corpse collapsed to the ground with a second revolting thump. A deadly silence hung in the air as all eyes in the room were transfixed on their Supreme Leader. Ben towered over Hux’s lifeless body, his face illuminated by the ghastly red glow of the hilted lightsaber still clutched in his hand. Beside him, Rey had found her footing and joined him in staring down the other occupants of the chamber. Slowly, Ben reached a hand inside of his cloak and retrieved a second, larger lightsaber hilt that he handed to Rey. She took the hilt without so much as a glance in his direction and ignited its double blades.

Ben scanned the frightened faces of the crowd as their wide eyes surveyed the menacing weapon in Rey’s hands. The green and blue blades cast a nightmarish glow over her blood-splattered face, transforming her into a gruesome apparition. Ben was momentarily stunned by her chilling metamorphosis, but he quickly regained his focus and sank into a fighting stance next to her.

“You okay?” he whispered down to her so that only she could hear.

“I’m good. Let’s do this.” She lunged for the nearest person – a middle-aged admiral with a bewildered expression – and swung her saber through the air and straight through his chest. The two halves of his body crashed to the floor and lay in an expanding pool of blood. A moment of utter silence passed before the room erupted into chaos. The bravest officers scrambled to extract concealed weapons from their uniforms while others clambered over each other to reach the only exit. Ben sealed the blast doors with a flick of his wrist, trapping the leaders inside, and sprang into action. Before the minute was up the pair had killed over half of the occupants of the room; only the Knights or Ren and a few officers cowering near the blast doors were still alive. The Knights were still on one knee; their deference to Kylo Ren clearly overshadowed their shock at the murderous turn of events. Ben and Rey made quick work of the craven generals in the corner and then stood in the middle of the room, unsure of how to proceed.

Ben glanced down at Rey and saw that she was breathing heavily and her face was etched with pain; based on the energy radiating off of her body, he knew she was suffering both physically and mentally. He attempted to reach out and soothe her through the Force, but he dared not show physical affection towards her in front of his Knights. Instead, he addressed them with his typical manner of superiority.

“The time has come for the First Order to end. The galaxy will soon be met by a new era of peace. I ask you now to sever your ties from the corrupt First Order and maintain your loyalty to your true Master. Pledge your continued servility to the Master of the Knights of Ren and follow me – _us_ – in ending the war. Otherwise you will meet the same fate as your comrades.” Ben stared into the masked faces of each of his soldiers in turn, careful not to let his internal panic cloud his steely eyes. He knew that he and Rey could defeat the Knights if they chose to fight, but he also knew it wouldn’t be easy. After all, he had been the one to train these men and women. One Knight rose to his feet and removed his helmet to reveal a young, handsome face and brooding, black eyes; Ben recognized the man immediately as someone he’d always had an uneasy feeling about.

“Traitor,” the Knight hissed between clenched teeth. “You have been bewitched by the succubus that fights at your side; you murder our leaders and presume to control what they have built. You are no Master of mine.” The man turned then to his comrades and lectured them passionately: “Kylo Ren has betrayed our sacred order and asks us to commit the same crime. He shall not leave this room alive!” Inspired by his words, three other Knights rose and summoned their respective weapons to their hands; only two soldiers remained kneeling.

Ben and Rey reignited their sabers, steeling themselves for the impending blood bath. The instigator triggered his own lightsaber and a deep red blade erupted forth. He lunged at Ben and swung his saber violently towards his head. Ben deflected the blow easily and countered with his own strike, which the man only just managed to avoid. Rey lurched into action beside him and struck at one of other Knights, who flinched away from her, clearly intimidated by the blue and green death weapon clutched in her hands. Finally plucking up enough courage to retaliate, the three Knights rushed at Rey and hacked mercilessly at her saberstaff. She fought back with frenzied strikes while Ben continued dueling the leader of the mutiny. Nearly overpowered by three worthy opponents, Rey lost her footing and fell backwards to the ground as one of her attackers directed a fatal blow at her chest. Rey waited, dumbstruck, for the blow to come but it didn’t. She looked up and saw the Knight flailing his arms aimlessly as a glowing red blade was wrenched from his gut. Rey didn’t have time to thank Ben for his intervention before she was back on her feet and parrying attacks from the Knights once more. She was beginning to lose ground to her opponents when suddenly the assault stopped. The two loyal Knights of Ren had finally joined the battle, swiftly carving apart Rey’s attackers from behind. Panting heavily, she turned just in time to see Ben slice his combatant from groin to shoulder, cleaving his body into two vertical segments that flopped to the floor with a bloody squelch.

Ben peeled his eyes away from the stomach-churning mess to gaze across the room at Rey. Seeing that she was still in one piece, he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, calming his heart that threatened to beat out of his chest. _If I’m feeling this torn up about massacring a load of people, I can’t imagine how Rey is feeling_ , he thought with sobering concern. “I told you it would be easy,” he said with feigned vindication, hoping to ease her tension. It worked; she laughed out loud – an obviously inappropriate reaction, but he didn’t mind. Seeing the brief smile on her face lifted the tremendous weight off of his chest; in that moment he didn’t care that two of the Knights of Ren were watching…he ran to Rey and crushed her against his chest, hugging her so tightly that her feet left the floor.

“Master?” One of the remaining Knights interrupted the tender moment, clearly hoping for some explanation of their next move. Remembering himself, Ben released his grip on Rey, stepped away from her, and cleared his throat loudly.

Ben spoke quickly and authoritatively, mindful not to betray the fluttering in his stomach as he noticed the deep red blush of Rey’s cheeks. “Report to the bridge. Alert all senior officers to an emergency meeting in this chamber at twenty-three hundred. That gives us two hours to…tidy up.” He looked around at the grisly, gore-splattered room and mentally acknowledged his laughable understatement.

“Yes, sir.” The two Knights nodded in obedience and marched out of the room; Ben unsealed the door with another flick as they went.

“We need help to clean this,” Rey muttered beside him.

“It’s moments like these that make me wish FN-2187 had stuck around after all.” He smirked widely, overly-proud of his own cleverness. Rey punched him in the arm and rolled her eyes.

“Not funny,” she noted, though Ben thought he sensed a small smile beneath her angry facade. “Now let’s be serious and get some help.”

“Fine,” he conceded. “I’ll just order some stormtroopers to clean it up.” With that he stormed out of the room on a mission to find help, leaving a bemused Rey to begin piling bodies by the door.


	14. Contact

The transport shuttle hurtled through hyperspace on its way to Takodana. The only two passengers were seated in plush arm chairs in the cockpit and looking the worse for wear. The girl, Rey, dozed quietly in her chair while the man, Ben, stared out the window at the brilliant blue luminescence of hyperspace. The events of the previous day had been intense, and Ben was glad to have the bloodshed behind them. He and Rey had – almost single-handedly – wiped out the entire commanding leadership of the First Order in one fell, blood-soaked swoop. The only survivors of the cull had been two Knights of Ren that had demonstrated loyalty to their Master, Kylo Ren. These two Knights had stayed behind to help oversee the withdrawal of First Order troops from their stations on the major star systems. That particular directive had been met with surprisingly little resistance. After the massacre of the leaders, Ben and Rey had gathered the remaining senior officers and briefed them on the…changes…that would be taking place. Specifically, he had informed them of the successful mutiny to overthrow General Hux and his sycophants, as well as the plan to remove a large proportion of the First Order troops from their current planetary occupations. The blow had been greatly softened when he announced that each officer would be promoted by one rank. Just as Ben had predicted, the surviving officers bore no allegiance to Hux; in fact, he sensed that some of them were even happy at the change of command. _He never was very likeable_ , he thought offhandedly.

Ben fidgeted in his chair as he reflected on the emotions of the previous day. As relieved as he was to initiate the first step of his long-term plan for the First Order, he couldn’t help but feel dread for what he was heading into now. Every movement of the transport ship brought him that much closer to Maz Kanata and the Resistance. _Somehow slaughtering a room full of my colleagues seems less daunting than going to visit an old, wrinkly orange woman_ , he mused miserably. Dredging up old wounds was not his idea of fun, and he was loath to see Maz or anyone that had any connection to his family. _Plus, that mad woman will likely want my head served up on a platter…_

But Ben’s thoughts turned to Rey…his scavenger girl from Jakku. The one person in this galaxy that he would do anything for. He knew how much this meant to her, and so he was willing to grit his teeth and bear whatever Maz may throw at him.

The alarms on the console began beeping to announce their impending arrival to their destination. The shuttle immediately slowed out of lightspeed and the lush green planet of Takodana emerged outside of the cockpit window. Rey stirred in her seat and slowly took in her surroundings; out of the corner of his eye Ben spotted the slightest hint of a smile touch her lips as she marveled at the beautiful landscape.

When the ship had landed safely on the planet’s surface, Rey practically dragged Ben from the cockpit and out into the crisp, pine-scented air. Ben braced himself for an eventful meeting and followed Rey as she danced excitedly towards Maz’s castle.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

As they passed the tall, recently reconstructed gates of the castle, an anxious knot formed in the pit of Rey’s stomach. She was equally excited and nervous about the prospect of seeing Maz – and if she was lucky, Finn – but as she neared the castle fear overcame her. She halted abruptly and turned to Ben, who had been walking solemnly beside her.

“Maybe this is a bad idea,” she admitted, apprehension evident in her voice.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Rey…this walk feels more like a funeral procession than a leisurely stroll to see an old friend.” Ben smiled wryly but then grew serious. He reached out and touched her cheek gently, reassuringly. “You will regret it if we don’t see this through.”

She knew he was right; peering up into his unflinching eyes strengthened her resolve. _If Ben is still willing to go through with this, I would be a coward to back out now_ , she realized.

“Plus,” Ben added, “our plans to overthrow the First Order leadership went surprisingly smoothly…maybe that luck will hold out.”

A second, more nauseating knot squirmed violently in Rey’s gut at the reminder of the previous day’s events. She had helped slaughter a room full of men and women, some of whom were unarmed; she shivered despite the fact that the sun was beating warmly on her back. She had justified their actions a million times by reminding herself of the countless crimes against humanity those same officers had committed; but it wasn’t enough to soothe her conscience. She wondered if any amount of self-consolation or reassurance from Ben could ever ease her remorse, but she highly doubted it. The best she could do was see her and Ben’s plans through and make their sins worth the while. And none of that would be possible without Maz. _I need to do this_ , she silently affirmed, pushing her negative thoughts aside. Nodding her head and steeling her nerves, she turned back towards the castle’s entrance and strode forward. When they reached the doorway, she gave Ben a last, encouraging look before swinging the door open and stepping inside.

The main hall had been rebuilt after the First Order’s attack on the castle last year, but it looked exactly as Rey remembered. Hundreds of individuals – human and alien alike – filled the large lounge and spilled into the neighboring cantina. The sounds of laughter, amiable voices and lively music filled the air and created a vibrant atmosphere that contrasted sharply with the castle’s tranquil surroundings.

Rey felt an unusual number of eyes glued to her and Ben as they strode through the hall. Unlike the cantina in Mos Eisley, this bar was filled with a high volume of First Order and Resistance sympathizers that were more interested in minding other peoples’ business than their own. Before coming, Rey and Ben had discussed whether or not to conceal their appearances, but had decided against it. Now that they had outed themselves to the First Order, they no longer had to worry about being seen together by First Order supporters. On the other hand, recognition by Resistance sympathizers couldn’t hurt their cause either; after all, their entire intention on Takodana was to make contact with the Resistance. Thus, it was with an air of nonchalance that Rey and Ben made their way through the hall searching for the small, orange alien-woman.

It didn’t take them long to find her; she was behind the bar with her back to the crowd, slicing up a large, spikey fruit. Rey approached the counter cautiously, her anxiety reaching a critical peak. Before she could utter a single word, Maz, still facing the wall, began speaking.

“I thought I might be seeing you here soon…though I didn’t expect your companion.” She wheeled around and glanced pointedly at Rey before turning her steely gaze to Ben. “Ben Solo. Or do you still prefer _Kylo Ren_?” Her words were intended to sting, and Rey reflexively placed a hand on Ben’s arm to calm him. Maz narrowed her eyes at the show of affection, but said nothing.

“We need to talk to you. Can we speak privately?” Rey asked, pleading with her eyes as much as her words.

“You are lucky that violence is strictly prohibited in my establishment,” Maz spat, still staring darkly at Ben. “Come with me.” She tore her eyes off of Ben and motioned for them to follow her as she headed to the far side of the room and through a locked door. Rey and Ben followed her in silence down a dimly lit corridor, up a narrow, winding staircase, and finally through a second locked door. They arrived in a small, cozy chamber filled with lavish sofas and cushioned armchairs. A small fire burned in the hearth, and Maz took a seat in the chair closest to the fire. Her legs dangled like a child’s off the end of the chair; in any other situation, Rey may have giggled at the image, but here she restrained herself. _It’s probably not the best time to make jokes_ , she thought sheepishly. Instead, she and Ben sat down awkwardly on a couch directly across from her and stared uncomfortably into the fire. Rey searched her brain for the right words to say, but she found none. Every sentence of her carefully thought-out speech was gone…blown out the window along with her confidence and convictions.

“Well?” Maz asked with more than a hint of acid in her voice; she stared at Rey expectantly.

Rey glanced, panicking, at Ben, but found no solace. He was staring at Maz, mouth slightly agape, apparently as lost for words as she was. Rey concentrated on her breathing – _in, out…in, out_ – and called upon the Force and Ben for strength. After a few moments of silence, she felt a sudden calm engulf her body and still her frenzied mind. Clarity returned to her and she remembered the words she had rehearsed so many times. Inhaling deeply and returning Maz’s intense stare, she began spilling all the details of her life since her arrival on Ahch-To:

She explained the Force bond that Snoke had created to bridge their minds, Ben’s murder of Snoke and their battle with the Praetorian Guards, their…disagreement…afterwards in the throne room, and her escape from the _Supremacy_. Maz listened intently, and although she tried to retain her furious countenance, Rey sensed her amazement through the Force. With slightly more hope, Rey delved into her rescue of the Resistance on Crait and their arrival on Dantooine. She told Maz about their continuing Force encounters and her reluctance to trust Ben again after everything that had happened. When Rey began recounting, in excruciating detail, their most recent Force vision, Maz’s eyes grew impossibly wider and she leaned forward subconsciously in her seat. Barreling on, she told Maz about their study of the ancient Jedi texts, the construction of her saberstaff from Luke’s old lightsaber crystals, and her attempts to convince her Resistance comrades to join their cause.

When the subject of General Organa came up, Rey’s voice lowered to a quivering whisper. She stared at the floorboards as she recounted Leia’s interruption of their Force bond and the subsequent events that led to her untimely death. A rogue tear rolled down her cheek at the painful memory, and Ben reached out and squeezed her thigh gently. She cast him a small, fleeting smile before turning her eyes to Maz. The wrinkled old woman peered up at Rey through her large goggles with eyes full of heartache. Taking sadness as a positive step from anger, Rey wiped her cheek dry and pressed on, relating her meeting with Ben on Tatooine and their visit to Luke’s childhood home. Next, despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable, Rey disclosed the physical escalation of their relationship; she knew that Maz would not be fooled by anything other than the truth, so she laid out the bare minimum account of that night in Mos Eisley. Ben fidgeted uneasily beside her, but she didn’t let it interrupt her momentum. At last she wrapped up her narrative by describing their assault on the First Order leadership and the plans they had set in motion with the remaining officers. When Rey finished, she sighed heavily and sank back into the sofa, utterly exhausted. Maz wiggled out of her chair and moved in front of the fireplace, staring down into the glowing embers.

“That is a remarkable tale,” she murmured. “Almost unbelievable.”

“It’s true, I swear it!” Rey pleaded desperately, terrified that Maz had made up her mind against them.

“Oh, I know,” the older woman responded calmly. Baffled, Rey waited for her to continue. “I know you are telling the truth. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I couldn’t differentiate between lies and honesty. Your hardship lies in convincing anyone else that the story is true.” She paused, turning her back to the fire and glancing curiously between Rey and Ben. “But you did not come here to tell me a riveting story.”

“No, we didn’t,” Rey responded. “I – we – came to ask you for a favor. We need to find the Resistance. Finn is still with them, but if I could just talk to him – explain myself – then I think he might join us. I don’t want conflict with the Resistance…I want them on our side. It’s what I’ve wanted all along. I never meant to hurt them – to hurt Leia.” Rey fell silent, but blood pounded in her ears like a deafening drum. Maz didn’t respond but instead turned her gaze to Ben.

“The girl speaks for the both of you, but it is only her desires she expresses. Why are _you_ here, Ben Solo?”

Ben straightened in his seat and cleared his throat. Rey reached out to him mentally but found that he was not afraid; rather, he began speaking with an air of confidence and determination that had been missing since they landed on Takodana.

“I won’t pretend like I care about the Resistance. My mother and father are gone…Chewbacca is the only rebel left that I would even recognize. But I do care about Rey. Through her I have found a new way to live. For the first time in my life I feel hope for the future. I know my transgressions…I know the atrocities I’ve committed…and I know I don’t deserve forgiveness. But for some reason Rey has forgiven me and now I’m fighting to become the person she thinks I am. I would do anything for her…including facing the people I once betrayed. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you don’t hold my indiscretions against her.”

Tears welled in Rey’s eyes as Ben spoke passionately about her. It was one thing for him to express his feelings to her privately, but it was a whole other thing to hear him describe those feelings to someone else. She tried to will the heat from her cheeks, but failed miserably. Fearing she would become embarrassingly emotional if she opened her mouth, she stayed silent and glanced back-and-forth between Ben and Maz.

“Your _indiscretions_?” Maz repeated with hostile disbelief. “You turned your back on your family, committed crimes beyond reproach, aided the obliteration of an entire star system, terrorized the galaxy, and, above all, murdered one of the best men I ever knew…your own father.” Maz spat the accusations at Ben with a chilling tone. “I will never… _never_ …forgive you. But…” She paused for a long moment – during which Rey got the sense that she was being purposefully dramatic – before turning to Rey and adding, “I know _your_ heart. The first time I laid eyes on you I knew you were something special. I see the changes you have inspired in him─” she cocked her head in Ben’s direction “─and, though my heart is not big enough to forgive him, I believe that he is sincere in what he says. You are both incredibly powerful in the Force…I can feel your energies feeding off of each other. I want to give you what you seek, but I cannot.” Rey began to blurt out a rebuttal, but Maz held up a wrinkled hand to silence her. “I will not betray the location of the Resistance…but I can still try to help you.”

“How?” Rey exclaimed, her heart swelling with the possibility of seeing her friends again.

“I will reach out to Finn and explain the situation. I will tell him that you wish to see him, and invite him here. Whether he comes or not is up to him, but I will relay the message. That is the best I am willing to do.”

“Thank you, Maz!” Rey shouted, leaping out of her chair and keeling in front of the old alien. With fresh tears in her eyes she grabbed the tiny orange woman’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “I can’t thank you enough. Truly, Maz. I am eternally grateful.”

Maz smiled sadly up at her and squeezed her hand in return. “I trust that you know what you are doing, child,” she whispered quietly enough that Ben couldn’t hear. Then, more loudly, she said, “I will go contact Finn. Wait in here and I’ll be back shortly with news.” She started for the door, but Ben’s voice halted her in her tracks:

“You asked me why I was here. There is another reason.” Rey whipped her head around to look at Ben, but he was focused wholly on Maz. Confused at what more he could possibly have to say, Rey held her breath in tense anticipation. “Our next step will be to form a temporary, emergency Senate to begin formulating the laws that will govern the new order. I can’t think of anyone better suited to help us with that project than you.”

Without bothering to respond or even glance in Ben’s direction, Maz resumed her stride to the door and out into the hallway beyond. Rey and Ben glanced nervously at each other; their only option now was to wait.


	15. Reconciliation

A single figure stood alone on the edge of the cliff, staring out over the icy valley below. A frigid wind blew in from the east and he pulled his coat up around his neck, shivering. _Who chose this grim icebox, anyways?_ he thought sarcastically. He knew the answer, of course. His buddy Poe – Admiral Poe, mind you – had been the genius that relocated the Resistance base to the outer rim territory of Belsavis. _I shouldn’t complain too much…it’s home sweet home, really_. Naturally he was referring to his “home world” – if you could call it that – of Starkiller Base, the massive First Order planetary weapon that he had spent so much time on. _Maybe it’s Poe’s idea of a joke to imprison me on another frozen wasteland._ His bitter thoughts were interrupted by a shout in the distance.

“Finn!” Rose’s high-pitched voice drifted to him over the howling wind; he turned to see her waving her arms over her head and motioning for him to come over. He plodded through the ankle-deep snow towards the main station where she waited. As he walked he marveled offhandedly at the impressive speed in which the Resistance had set up their new base. It had only been a week ago that they had packed up their operation on Dantooine and sought out a new headquarters. According to _Admiral_ Poe, the abandoned outpost on Belsavis had been the perfect place to set up shop…Finn had different ideas about that, but he kept them to himself.

“What’s up?” Finn called to Rose as he neared the compound.

“Someone named Maz Kanata is asking for you,” she informed him. “She’s on a hologram monitor in the communication room.”

Finn looked at her in confusion; he had no idea why Maz might be reaching out to him of all people. He had been promoted to Commander, but even so there were people like Poe and Chewie that would be much better suited to deal with Resistance enquiries than him.

“Okay…” he replied hesitantly, hoping that Rose would clarify; instead she shrugged her shoulders and frowned at him. He kissed her cheek and muttered a distracted farewell before marching off towards the communication suite.

When he arrived he found the room was deserted except for Colonel Connix and the holographic image of Maz. Upon noticing Finn, Connix nodded at him and dismissed herself from the room. Finn was left alone with the blue-tinted likeness of Maz, who was staring at him with a strange look in her eyes.

“Where is everyone?” Finn asked, even more confused now about why he had been summoned to an apparently private meeting by the ancient woman.

“I wished this conversation to be…confidential,” she responded mysteriously. “I guess I still hold a fair bit of sway among the new Resistance leaders.”

“I don’t understand why you wanted to see _me_?”

“I have an urgent message to relay. Bear in mind that I am only the messenger, and I will not insert my opinion into the matter…whether or not you go through with the request is entirely up to you.”

“What are you talking about?” Finn exclaimed, quickly becoming irritated with the small woman’s cryptic words.

“Rey is here.”

Finn gasped at the mention of his dearest friend. Her name was the last thing he had expected to hear from Maz’s mouth, and it left his head spinning. It had only been a week – though it felt like much longer – since the…incident. Since General Organa had died in an accident that left Rey looking guilty. Of course she was the only one that knew the full story. _But I know Rey_ , Finn thought, _I know she wouldn’t lay a finger on Leia…not intentionally._ It was the same story he’d been telling himself since the incident, and he was still sure that it was the truth. _If Poe hadn’t scared her away we could have gotten an honest account of the events and it would have exonerated Rey of all guilt_. But Poe _had_ scared her away, and she hadn’t been seen since. In fact, it was the entire reason that they had relocated to this Force-forsaken planet. _Even if Rey had tried to come back, she wouldn’t have known where to find us. She would have been forced to search for clues or_ – a thought dawned on him – _or…she could have gone to Maz and asked for help!_

“Can I talk to her? Why isn’t she with you now? Is something wrong? Is she hurt?” Questions poured from Finn’s mouth as the excitement of seeing Rey warmed his shivering limbs.

“She is fine.” Maz put her hands up to silence his blathering. “She wants to see you.”

“Great! Put her on!”

“It’s not that easy, dear boy. This matter should be dealt with in person.”

“Okay, well does she have a ship? Just tell her we’re on Belsavis and she can fly ov─”

“Patience, Finn!” Maz was clearly worn out by his incessant questioning. “Close that gaping hole of yours and listen to me.” Only when Finn snapped his jaw shut and nodded obediently did she continue. “I have sworn an oath to the Resistance to protect their secrets, and I will not break that oath just to bring your girlfriend back to you. I know what she has done, and I know she is wanted by Admiral Dameron for treason. If you want to see her, you must be the one to come here.”

Finn beamed at the holographic alien; his enthusiasm at getting to see Rey again greatly overshadowed any guilt he felt at consorting with a wanted fugitive. “I can barely pilot a landspeeder, much less a real ship, so I’ll need someone to fly me there. I bet Chewie─”

“No! As much as I would love to see that handsome wookiee again, it wouldn’t be safe. Bring someone that Rey doesn’t know. Leave them on the ship…don’t even let them come inside the castle.”

“But why?” Finn asked, confused yet again by Maz’s mysterious directives.

“There is something else you must know before you come…”

“Yes…?”

Maz closed her eyes and exhaled sharply – _this is clearly something she doesn’t want to admit_ – before uttering the six most bewildering words Finn had ever heard: “She is here with Ben Solo.”

Finn stared, utterly dumbstruck, at Maz for several long moments in silence. His thoughts swirled wildly in his mind, torn between perplexity and a sense of betrayal. _Maybe I misheard her_ , he hoped. “Come again?”

“I said she is here with Ben Solo. Or Kylo Ren, as you know him. They both wish to see you.”

“Is this some kind of a joke?!” he uttered with incredulity. “Because it isn’t funny!” 

“It’s no joke. They wove a beautiful story for me of their companionship in the past six months…fascinating stuff. Whether you would like to hear the story too is up to you.” Maz looked up at him with beady eyes that were magnified to many times their original size; when Finn gazed down into them, he knew with certainty that she was not joking. He didn’t know what to think, much less what to say. One word… _why_ …kept invading his thoughts. Rey was the first person he had ever really cared about…he loved her… _still do love her_. He made up his mind then: _I need to at least hear her out…she would do the same for me._

“I’m coming,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I’ll find some newbie pilot and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Tell Rey…never mind.” No amount of kind sentiments could accurately describe how much her had missed Rey in the short time she’d been gone. “I’ll see you soon.”

With a small nod Maz was gone; the hologram deactivated and Finn was left alone in the large room. Before he even had time to compose his thoughts he was running from the room and towards the new base’s only hangar. He had to find a pilot to get him to Takodana and he needed to leave a message for Poe explaining his unscheduled disappearance. As if in answer to a prayer, Finn spotted Poe as he rounded a corner into the hangar.

“Poe! Hey Poe!” he shouted over the commotion of dozens of pilots performing diagnostic tests on the newly arrived X-wing starfighters. Next to Poe, BB-8 began beeping excitedly; acknowledging the exclamations from his feisty droid, Poe craned his neck around and smiled as Finn ran towards him.

“Hey, buddy! What’s going on? I heard that Maz was calling for you─”

“I don’t have much time! Sorry,” he apologized quickly when he saw the offended look on Poe’s face at being interrupted. “I spoke to Maz and she’s asked me to come to Takodana on an errand. It’s only temporary, but I need a pilot and a ship.”

With a puzzled expression, Poe asked, “What errand? She didn’t say anything to me about it.”

“I promise I will tell you all about it when I get back, but right now I don’t have time. Please…just trust me on this.” Finn grabbed Poe’s shoulders tightly and stared pleadingly into his eyes. “Please, Poe.”

“Okay, okay! Take Rhodes with you.” He indicted a young, scruffy-looking man wearing the orange jumpsuit typical of Resistance pilots. “Should I be concerned?” Poe whispered to Finn, though it was obvious that he already was.

“No,” Finn lied, honestly not sure whether Poe should be worried or not. “I will see you in a couple of days, max.”

“Alright, Finn. Be safe.” Poe smiled at him and then turned back to resume his conversation with another pilot. BB-8 emitted a series of chirps that Finn assumed was a cheerful goodbye.

“Yeah, you too,” he mumbled as he made his way through the hangar to the pilot named Rhodes.

 

In under an hour he was sitting in the gunner seat of a Y-wing fighter headed straight for Takodana. It was a short trip, and before long he was waving goodbye to Rhodes and darting up the steps of Maz’s castle. He found Maz in the main hall conversing with a pair of wrinkly-faced Blarina. She sensed his presence before he had even reached her table… _she is creepily good at that_ , he realized.

“That _was_ fast,” she noted, turning on him and grabbing his hand with both of hers in a warm greeting. “You must really want to see her.”

“I do. Where is she?”

“Hmm, always impatient.” She tutted briefly before motioning for him to follow her as she made her way through a series of locked doors, narrow hallways and twisting staircases. Finally she stopped in front of large wooden door and opened it wide, indicating for Finn to enter. As soon as he was inside she shut the door behind him and he heard her footsteps echo down the corridor. Suddenly nervous, he took a shaky step past the door’s archway and into the homey room. Two figures rose abruptly from a plush-looking sofa by the fire. Finn’s heart leapt into his throat as his eyes roved over Rey’s body and found no obvious signs of injury or harm. She was watching him with wide eyes and a small smile that lit up her features. And sure enough, standing so close to her that they were almost touching, was the bastard that had nearly sliced him in two last year: _Kylo-fucking-Ren_.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

“Finn!” Rey sprang across the room and into his arms, hugging him tightly and relishing his company. For the past week she had worried that she would never see him again…that maybe he wouldn’t want to see her again; she gripped him even tighter.

“Rey, I…you…what?” Finn extracted himself from Rey’s bone-crushing embrace and stared pointedly back-and-forth between Rey and Ben. Momentarily relieved of her sensibilities, Rey said nothing. Instead Finn leaned close to her and whispered, “What is going on?”

“It’s a long story. Really, really long,” Rey finally responded.

“Yeah, Maz mentioned something about a beautiful story,” he said, though Rey sensed the doubt and irony in his voice.

“Why don’t you sit down? We’ll explain everything,” she suggested kindly. Finn narrowed his eyes at her use of the word “we”, but she ignored it and motioned for him to sit. When Finn was seated, she moved to Ben’s side and they sank back down into the sofa.

“I guess this is the part where you start explaining,” Finn muttered, peering expectantly at Rey.

“For you to fully understand I need to go all the way back to Ahch-To.”

“But you’ve told me what happened on Ahch-To.”

“I didn’t tell you the whole truth. I was ashamed of what really happened and I didn’t want you to think less of me. But now I’m going to tell you everything, and it will be much simpler if you just listen and save any questions you have until I’m done.” She waited until Finn had nodded before moving on. She dove straight into the story, telling him everything she had told Maz earlier that day. The only piece of information she omitted was the fact that her relationship with Ben had become physical. _That’s probably not something he needs to – or particularly wants to – know right now_ , she figured; that detail could be saved for a future conversation when Finn wasn’t already overwhelmed with new information.

Finn listened respectfully to the whole tale, though he did let fly a few choice words and phrases at different parts of the narrative. When she had explained everything up to her and Ben’s conversation with Maz that very morning, Rey closed her lips and waited patiently for Finn’s brain to process the information. After a long moment of silence, Finn opened his mouth, but then closed it quickly and furrowed his brow. He repeated this process three or four times, clearly failing to find the right words to express his reaction. When he finally managed to string a few sentences together, his voice was somber and full of pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this sooner? I would have understood…I would have been there for you.”

“I know, Finn,” Rey whispered, leaning forward in her seat and staring at him with wide, wet eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have been honest about everything but…I was afraid.” He stared back at her with round eyes full of emotion.

“I trust you with my life, Rey. I thought you trusted me.”

“I did – I do! Think about when you met me: you pretended to be part of the Resistance because you were ashamed of what you really were. Well, I was ashamed of what I was…what I’d done. And the lies just kept escalating until it was too late. I promise if I could go back I would handle things differently. I would have told you the whole truth, from the beginning.”

“Is he really worth giving up the Resistance for?” Finn glared briefly at Ben before turning his gaze back to Rey. “I’ve seen behind the mask too, Rey. I’ve witnessed first-hand the savagery he’s commanded. He can’t be trusted.”

Ben shifted indignantly in his seat and Rey sensed his growing anger through the Force. She quickly attempted to steer the conversation away from Ben in order to avoid unnecessary conflict…she was pretty sure Finn wouldn’t fare so well if the situation turned violent.

“Forget Ben for a moment,” she insisted. “Do you trust my judgement?”

“I do but─”

“Then just let that be enough!” she interrupted, desperation leaking through her confident façade. “Finn, I don’t want to lose you! I’ve almost lost you twice now: once on Starkiller Base and then again when I had to flee last week. I can’t handle losing you again. You are the first friend I ever had…the first person I ever really cared about.” Beside her on the couch, Ben cleared his throat and moved almost imperceptibly closer to her; Rey shot him a dark look and then turned back to Finn. “Please trust that I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you or put you in harm’s way. I love you, Finn.”

Finn pressed his lips into a thin line and furrowed his brow, but tears still glistened in his eyes. Rey avoided looking in Ben’s direction; she could feel his eyes boring into the side of her head. _He can just deal with his petty jealousy for a few more minutes_ , she huffed silently. Finn stood up and extended his arms in invitation.

“Come here!” he half-laughed, half-cried; Rey hopped up and into his arms once more. “I love you too. I hate _him_ but I love you.” Rey laughed along with Finn as happy tears streamed down her cheeks. Ben rose from the sofa and walked towards them until he was towering over their sentimental moment.

“Let’s establish some ground rules,” he grunted darkly, grabbing Rey’s shoulder and pulling her away from Finn. Rey reluctantly looked up at him, only to find him glowering at Finn. _If looks could kill_ , she noted sarcastically… _actually_ – a morbid thought occurred to her – _if anyone_ could _kill with a look it would be Ben_. Swiftly she placed her hand on Ben’s chest and stroked his mind through the Force. He lowered his eyes until they found hers; instantly his gaze softened and he managed to look somewhat abashed.

“What is the deal with you two?” Finn asked, perplexed. Rey whipped her neck around to find him staring between her and Ben and shaking his head slightly.

“Well…” she mumbled, but didn’t continue.

“Are you guys like…a _thing_?” At Finn’s brazen inquiry, Rey’s face flushed and she sputtered and floundered awkwardly. Ben, however, did not miss a beat:

“Yes,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Is that going to be a problem?” Rey’s face darkened by multiple shades of red and she stared at Finn, hoping for an amicable reaction.

“Only if you make it one,” Finn responded coolly.

“Let’s all just calm down,” Rey said, finally regaining the ability to speak. “It’s not a big deal. It’s…it’s a Force bond thing. I don’t know. Just…it doesn’t matter.” When Ben and Finn continued glaring at each other, she added, “Hello? Am I talking to the wall here?”

“Umm, no. Sorry,” Ben muttered.

“Nope, all good.”

“Alright,” Rey breathed, relieved that she managed to diffuse the situation before tempers got too hot. “Whatever may or may not be going on between any of us is irrelevant to the bigger picture. Finn, what we’re doing isn’t about me or Ben. It’s about the galaxy. The vision we saw is slowly coming true…we _are_ going to bring an end to the war and we _are_ going to establish a new galactic order to restore peace and balance. _That_ is our mission. _That_ is what we want your help with. Your help and the help of everyone left in the Resistance.”

Finn nodded his head in understanding. “I want to help. And maybe if I explained everything to Poe he would understand.”

“We were hoping you would say that, actually. We wanted to recruit your help in convincing the Resistance to join our cause,” Rey explained. “I’m afraid if either of us turn up they’ll put us in handcuffs before we even get the chance to defend ourselves.”

“Unfortunately I think you’re right,” Finn sighed. “I love Poe but he isn’t the most forgiving or sentimental Admiral…” The ex-stormtrooper allowed himself a small smile before rounding on Ben with narrowed, demanding eyes. “Before I agree to anything I want to know why you’re here. Why I should defend you to the Resistance and convince anyone that they should trust you.”

Ben met his gaze, but this time there was no anger or jealousy in his eyes. He spoke in a low, deep voice that oozed with sincerity. “I am here, in this room, because of Rey. She wanted her friends to be involved in our future…it was one of her conditions for agreeing to join me at all. So here I am. But why am I here, in general?” He paused for a beat, inhaling deeply. “Because I saw a vision of the future that wasn’t filled with suffering and self-loathing. I realized there was another way to bring order to the galaxy…with balance instead of fear. I am committed to this plan. Hell, we’ve already set it in motion with the First Order. If that isn’t enough to convince your little friends at the Resistance then nothing will.”

“Your grandiose speeches could do with a bit less condescension,” Finn snorted. “But, weirdly enough, I sort of believe you.”

Ben grunted in response and sat back down on the sofa; he had obviously exhausted his store of geniality. It didn’t take their special Force connection for Rey to sense his irritation with Finn. _Still_ , Rey mused, _this is going better than I’d hoped._

“So…does that mean you’re in?” she asked hopefully as a small smile threatened to expose itself.

Finn sat in silent contemplation for a long moment before asking in a hushed voice, “Did you guys really kill Hux? And the rest of the First Order officers?”

“Yeah, we did.” Her barely contained smile turned into a full-blown beam at the look of amazement on Finn’s face.

“Then hell yes I’m in!” Finn cheered, returning Rey’s glowing grim.

 

Within the hour Finn was exchanging farewells with Rey – and a curt nod in Ben’s direction – and heading back to his ship to try to persuade the Resistance to join their cause. As soon as he had closed the door to the room behind him, Rey turned towards Ben and fixed him with a crippling glare.

“What is wrong with you?” she snapped. “He agreed to everything – with a smile, no less – and yet you’re sulking in the corner like a child!”

“I didn’t like the way he was talking about me…”

“Don’t lie to me, Ben,” Rey warned, stepping closer to him and pointing an accusatory finger at his chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ben lied, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“This whole adolescent tantrum is because you’re jealous! Just admit it!” She watched him through narrowed eyes as he silently weighed his options before choosing – correctly – to tell the truth.

“Fine, I’m jealous!” The words that now flowed from his mouth were acidic, but Rey could feel the anguish underneath them. “I let go of everything to be with you. I put myself out there…on the line…completely exposed…for _you_! But we can’t be _together_ right now because Force-forbid we are distracted for a single minute. And yet as soon as this clown walks in the room it’s all doe-eyes and I-love-you’s!” The muscle in Ben’s jaw twitched furiously as he fumed in the aftermath of his thoughtless words.

“He’s my friend, Ben!” Rey exclaimed, tired and exasperated by his misplaced jealousy. “I love him as a _friend_. Haven’t you ever loved a friend?”

“No, as a matter of fact I haven’t,” he shot back.

“Oh.” Pity for the emotionally immature man overshadowed her annoyance, and Rey immediately softened. “Well it’s a very common occurrence among people who actually have friends…maybe one day you’ll grow to love Finn too.” She uttered those words with heavy sarcasm, but in her heart she hoped it was true.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep a small smile from touching the corners of his lips.

“Imagine…Kylo Ren…jealous of a stormtrooper. That’s not very becoming of a Supreme Leader, you know?” she teased, returning his smile with one of her own.

“When you put it that way it does sound preposterous.”

“Anyways,” Rey added with a smirk, “being with the Supreme Leader and Master of the Knights of Ren has ruined all other men for me. It’s a tragedy, really.”

“Oh yeah?” Ben asked suggestively, pulling Rey towards him and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Yes! But we can’t do this now!” She peeled his hands off of her hips and stepped backwards.

“Are we really keeping this up?” he groaned in frustration. “I can’t keep staying away from you.”

“Well you’re going to have to, Ben,” she sighed, frustrated with herself for actually having the willpower to resist him. _I don’t know how long I can keep this up, either_ , she wondered for a split second before brushing the distracting thoughts aside. “Let’s find Maz…we have work to do.”


	16. Persuasion

“So you convinced the boy that your cause is worthy?” Maz asked with the slightest hint of satisfaction in her voice.

“Yes, Finn’s heading back to the Resistance right now to talk to Poe and translate our message,” Rey explained.

“Hmm, I may have underestimated your relationship. He is very loyal to you,” Maz noted, giving Rey a deep, probing stare. “I hope you appreciate that friendship.”

Ben rolled his eyes internally and tuned the two women out as they continued discussing Finn; he focused his attention on a frustratingly loose thread in the sofa cushion. _Finn…what a great guy. A real champion. Maybe he can rule the galaxy with Rey and I’ll retire to Mos Eisley and waste my days away at the cantina._ He cut his bitter, sarcastic thoughts off with a quick shake of his head. Maz and Rey were right: Finn was helping them…and potentially giving up his entire life to do so. The least Ben could do was pretend to be thankful. Plus, as Rey had told him, he had no reason to be jealous. Shoving the petty thoughts to the side, he rejoined the conversation.

“Can we talk about my proposition earlier?” he asked when there was a short lull in the women’s exchange. They both looked at him as if only just remembering he was still in the room. Maz wore a thoughtful expression, though Ben had no idea what was going through her mind.

“Yes,” Rey chimed in, “I would like to hear your thoughts on that, Maz.”

“Hmm,” Maz muttered, glancing between them, “I have given the idea some thought. But I’m still not convinced. As much as I want to believe that all of your plans can work, I fear that you will have a hard time recruiting other Senate members that will trust you.”

“That is why we need your help,” Ben stated confidently; he had given this a lot of thought in the past few weeks and he wasn’t about to let her off of the hook too easily. “You have tremendous influence among many powerful leaders, especially in Mid Rim and Western Reaches. If you aligned yourself with us, it would greatly expand out influence throughout the major star systems.”

“If you believe the story I told you earlier then you must believe that our intentions are in the right place.” Rey spoke with enthusiasm that bordered on fanaticism; her sincerity was undeniable. In that moment Ben was temporarily overcome with affection for her. “We are serious about ending the war,” she continued. “For the first time in a thousand generations – since the establishment of the Jedi Order – we will use both the dark and light sides of the Force to govern the galaxy. Establishing balance is the only way to create permanent, lasting peace.”

“I understand the concept behind your arguments; and theoretically I agree with them. But why would anyone follow a radical movement led by two kids?” Maz asked in a tone that was kinder than her words.

“With all due respect, I hardly find our movement to be radical. In fact, to any intelligent being that receives a proper explanation of the Force, our path is the only logical option.” Ben spoke passionately, genuinely convinced of the righteousness of their approach. “And I don’t think anyone will judge us as naïve children: Rey and I are the most powerful individuals in the galaxy. Besides the remaining Knights of Ren, we’re also the only trained Force users left. That alone gives us authority. If the two of us can’t effect change in the galaxy, who can?”

Maz contemplated his words for a few moments before responding in an uneasy tone. “And what if you’re wrong about each other…what if one of you─” she stared pointedly at Ben so as to make it clear which 'one' of them she was referring to, “─betrays the other and uses the power to create a dictatorship?”

“That’s _not_ going to happen,” Ben grumbled.

“No it’s not,” Rey quickly interrupted. “But if it did, wouldn’t you want to be in a position to stop it? If you are a part of the new government, then you will have a say in what happens. You can help develop the laws that govern our system, thereby controlling where power is distributed and ensuring that something like that could never happen. Again, it isn’t something you need to worry about, but if it eases your conscience then so be it. Join us and help keep us in line if you must.”

Now Maz was really lost for words; she sat in silent deliberation for several minutes while Ben and Rey nervously held their breath. “I guess you don’t leave me much choice,” she finally said. “I really am the best choice for the job.”

“Really? You’ll help us?” Rey exclaimed.

“I have roamed the stars for over a thousand years and I have seen more suffering and grief than you can imagine. To see the war ended in my lifetime would be unimaginably rewarding. I will do my part to see your plans through.” The little orange woman smiled warmly at Rey and even managed a small smile in Ben’s direction.

“Thank you, Maz! Now I owe you two monumental debts!” Rey smiled back at Maz and her eyes glistened with happy tears.

“End the war…accomplish what you’ve set out to do…that will be gratitude enough,” Maz assured her warmly.

“I know my appreciation doesn’t mean much to you, but thank you, Maz,” Ben said softly before pausing with words on the tip of his tongue. When he was sure he could get the words out without falling to emotional pieces, he continued in a somber tone: “I am sorry for the pain I have caused you over the years…if Han Solo was here I would say the same to him. I wish I could undo what happened, but the best I _can_ do is honor his memory. And I know it won’t be easy, but I hope someday I can prove my worth to you.”

By the time he finished speaking he was flushed with shame and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. Maz looked at him with big, magnified eyes and he noticed that she too was crying; he had never seen the old woman shed a tear, and the sight caused his stomach to twist uncomfortably. She approached him slowly and grabbed his large hands in her small ones.

“You may be your father’s son after all,” she whispered, squeezing his hands and peering up into his dark eyes. Tears now streamed freely down his cheeks as he stared down into the eyes of the woman whom he had once considered family. He smiled weakly and she gave his hands a final squeeze before moving to stand in front of Rey. “I knew I was right about you,” she said to Rey, “you are something special.”

Now all three of them were sniffling and clumsily attempting to dry their wet eyes on their clothing.

“So what’s your next move?” Ben asked Maz, hoping to breeze past the awkward emotional moment that they were currently stuck in.

“I will gather a group of friends and planetary leaders; I’ll tell them everything you’ve told me. I can be very persuasive when I want to be,” she responded with surprising composure given the tears still shining in her eyes.

“We need to get back to the First Order, but keep us updated as often as possible,” Rey said.

“I will. And I want you to keep me informed about Finn’s progress,” Maz insisted with concerned edging into her voice. “I wonder how he’s getting along…”

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

“We’re nearly there, Commander,” the young pilot announced over the comlink.

“For the last time, Rhodes, just call me Finn.”

“Of course, Commander Finn,” the man called back seriously. Finn rolled his eyes and buckled himself into the gunner seat to prepare for landing. The small Y-wing jolted out of hyperspeed and the icy behemoth of Belsavis appeared before them, as frigid and uninviting as ever. Finn shivered reflexively as his body prepared himself for the impending sub-zero temperatures.

“When we land I’d like you to stay by the ship and keep it prepped in case we need to depart again,” Finn instructed Rhodes. Although he was hoping for a positive outcome from his meeting with Poe, a small voice in the back of his head warned him to prepare a back-up plan… _an unnecessary precaution_ , he assured himself.

“Sir? Do we have another assignment?” Rhodes asked, curious as to his newest set of instructions.

“Something like that…just be ready if I need you, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

Finn accepted the pilot’s obedience without further prodding; the man had been respectful and dutiful so far. Finn was sure that Rhodes would get him out of the compound safely if things did go awry… _but they won’t_ , he reminded himself.

As soon as the Y-wing touched down Finn was out of his seat and barreling towards the command room. As he dashed around yet another corner he slammed straight into Rose, who had been walking with Connix in the opposite direction.

“Finn!” Rose exclaimed in surprise. “What is going on? Poe said you ha─”

“Where’s Poe?” Finn shouted, grabbing her shoulders in eagerness.

“What? What are yo─”

“Where’s Poe?!” he repeated, not bothering to apologize for his rude interruptions.

“Command room, I think, but─”

“Good, that’s where I was headed!” When Finn saw the hurt expression on her face, he paused for a moment to explain. “I just got back from Takodana. I want to tell you everything that happened, but I need to find Poe first. Can you come with me to command?”

“Yeah, I can come,” Rose said nervously; Finn knew he had worried her with his impatience, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about it in his current state of terrified excitement.

“Then let’s go! You too, Connix,” he shouted over his shoulder as he took off in his original direction. The women followed him in silent confusion as he made his way into the command room. Sure enough, Poe was in the middle of the room, bent over a small, holographic map and arguing heatedly with Chewie. When they noticed the new arrivals, the pair quickly stopped conversing and straightened up to greet them.

“Finn! I didn’t expect you back so soon,” Poe said cheerily. “Is that good news or bad news?”

“It’s complicated is what it is!” Finn responded with a mixture of excitement and exasperation.

“So…what did Maz want?”

“It’s a lot to explain, but I wanted to tell you all at one time. You four, BB-8, C-3PO and R2-D2 are probably the ones that need to hear first.”

“Okay…” Poe stared at him suspiciously, but did as requested nonetheless. “Hey buddy,” he called across the room; his greeting was met with delighted chirping as BB-8 rolled towards them and halted at Poe’s feet. “R2, 3PO!” The old droid duo approached the group.

“Admiral Dameron, do you require our assistance?” C-3PO mechanically inquired. R2-D2 beeped in response – though Finn was clueless as to what the droid said – and C-3PO smacked his domed head. “You would be happy to help, you ungrateful hunk of metal.”

“Enough,” Poe interrupted; if Poe had been stuck in the command room all day, Finn was sure he’d had enough of the droids’ bickering. “Clear the room, officers,” Poe called to the remaining Resistance members in the vicinity. The men and women nodded obediently and abandoned their tasks to file quietly out of the room; only Finn, Poe, Chewie, Rose, Connix, and the three droids remained. Poe looked over at Finn and nodded his head, indicating that the floor was all his. Finn cleared his throat in an attempt to remove the giant lump that had formed there. _Don’t screw this up, don’t screw this up_ , he repeated to himself. He straightened his shoulders and steeled his nerves to deliver what needed to be the most persuasive speech of his life to date.

“For those of you that don’t know, I was summoned by Maz Kanata to Takodana early this morning. It’s because…well…Rey was there.”

Shocked gasps came from the humans in the room, while similar sentiments erupted from Chewie and the droids in the form of soft growling and curious beeping. Finn pressed on, trying hard to ignore the amazed and horrified expressions of his companions.

“I know, I know! But I saw her…I spoke to her. She explained everything to me…everything that happened with Leia, and a hell of a lot of other things.”

“What else was there to explain?” Poe demanded angrily.

“Well, you see, that’s the thing…she was kinda there with…well…” Finn braced himself for their outrage, “…Ben Solo.”

“What?!” Poe bellowed. “She was with _Kylo Ren_?!” His wrath at the news was beyond what Finn had imagined, and he quickly shushed the hateful comments that were flowing from all sides.

“Just hear me out!” Finn pleaded, shouting over their angered grumbling. “It’s not as bad as it seems! I swear, just listen to me!”

Chewie roared indignantly and BB-8 whirred furiously as Finn’s ankles.

“I don’t believe this! I saw with my own eyes what she did to General Organa, but I never imagined she was this far gone!” Poe cried, completely mad with the new revelation.

“STOP!” Finn’s voice boomed over the incensed voices of his friends and echoed eerily off of the walls. All eyes shot in his direction as every soul in the room went silent. “All I’m asking is that you listen to me,” Finn said more quietly now that he had regained control of the crowd. “Your judgmental overreactions are the whole reason that Rey isn’t here to explain things for herself. So shut the hell up and find somewhere to sit…it’s a long story.”

Slightly abashed and wholly bewildered, his companions stumbled into scattered chairs and then watched him with bated breath. Finn stared at each of his friends in turn, hoping to convey some inkling of earnestness in his gaze, before rambling off what he recalled of Rey’s tale. Despite missing a few minor details and having to loop back around to key events once or twice, Finn was impressed at his delivery of such a complex narrative to what was not an easy crowd. His gaze kept flicking to Poe every few minutes to gauge his reaction, but all he could see was fury in his narrowed eyes and hard-set jaw. His other friends didn’t appear much more pleasant, and it was anyone’s guess as to what the droids were thinking. When he finally reached that day’s events, he described his meeting with Rey and Ben in vivid detail. He hoped that if his friends could vicariously experience the conversation he’d had, they would understand how sincere Rey – and even Ben – had been. When he finally finished the story and he glanced around the room in anxious anticipation. Silence hung in heavy sheets around them as they all wondered who would be the first to speak. Finally, Poe broke.

“Don’t tell me you believed a single word out of that traitor’s mouth!” Poe leapt out of his seat, enraged. “Between the two of them we’ve lost three of the strongest Resistance leaders and been driven into glacial exile! You don’t actually expect any of us to buy that crap, do you?!”

“Poe, don’t be thick! Did you even listen to the story?! They want to put an end to the suffering and hardship of every sentient being in this Force-damned galaxy! The Resistance wants the same exact thing! We have the same goals…its illogical to oppose them!” Finn looked to his friends for support, but his heart sank when he found none.

“Finn, you’re talking about trusting Kylo Ren…the Supreme Leader of the First Order. That’s not a reasonable request,” Rose said, but despite her calm tone Finn could tell she was gravely concerned.

“I know it’s not simple, Rose,” he responded with equal composure, trying to hide his aggravation, “but nothing in this war has been simple. We have to take risks and make big moves if we want to accomplish anything. And I think this is a risk that we _should_ take.”

“I’m sorry, Finn, but I’m with Rose,” Connix chimed in. “What you’re saying is…well…insane. I know how much you care about Rey but Kylo Ren is a sadistic terrorist, and if Rey has joined him then she is truly lost.”

“That’s not true!” Finn shouted at her. She winced at his harsh tone, but he didn’t care. They were wrong…all of them. _Why can’t they see what I saw? Why don’t they understand that this path will redeem the Resistance, not condemn it?!_ Finn grunted in frustration and turned his attention back to Poe. “You didn’t hear the conviction in their voices, but I did. We _need_ to side with them; they are valuable allies for our cause! If we don’t side with them they will still win, and we will lose. Don’t you get that, Poe?!”

“Don’t forget yourself, pal,” Poe warned, “its _Admiral_ _Dameron_ now. And that means I call the shots around here…not you.”

“Well you’re wrong,” Finn mumbled. He had meant to keep the thought to himself, but it had slipped unbidden from his tongue. Poe narrowed his eyes and approached Finn until their chests were only inches apart.

“You’ve been a great friend to me, Finn, but you better check yourself if you expect to stay on my good side.” Poe stuck a pointed finger in Finn’s chest and fixed him with an icy glare. “Do you understand me?”

Finn knew that he should back down and allow Poe the chance to cool down before breaching the subject again, but he let his temper get the better of him. Matching Poe’s glare, he took a step forward so that Poe had to take a step back. “You’re making a big mistake. They are on our side. Rey and Ben already have more influence in the galaxy than the entire Resistance! If you don’t join them then they _will_ dismantle this operation piece-by-piece.”

“It seems to me like they’ve already dismantled the first piece…” Poe spat back.

Finn blinked and looked around at the stony faces of his companions…his friends. _How did this fall apart so quickly?_ He had been so confident that Poe would see things from his perspective, but he was slowly realizing that he’d been wrong. He took a step back from Poe and addressed the other members of his audience.

“Does anyone understand what I’m trying to get across? Or am I just speaking in some alien language to you guys?” he asked them. He glanced first at Chewie, but the wookiee only growled softly and shook his furry head without meeting Finn’s gaze. He turned next Connix, and she too bowed her head and kept her eyes glued to the floor. “Rose?” Of all the occupants of the room, he had become closest to Rose over the past six months. They had shared countless deep, emotionally-charged conversations and more than a few intimate nights. _She has to understand where I’m coming from_ , he thought hopefully.

“My sister died for the Resistance…and I won’t abandon the values she sacrificed herself for. I’m sorry, Finn.” He watched, completely dumbstruck, as Rose brushed a stray tear from her cheek and turned her head to shut him out.

“Oh my.” The heartbreaking sentiment came from C-3PO, who had remained silent with the other droids until then. Finn realized that even the droids were against him in all of this. Hastily drying his own wet eyes on his sleeve, he began grasping desperately at any remaining hope of persuasion.

“Well I believed what they told me, and I still do. It may seem crazy but in time you’ll know I was right. They will finish what they set out to do, and you all will be left standing on the sidelines and wondering why you didn’t help. I just hope you don’t stand in their way, because they will crush you.”

“Stop it, Finn!” Rose cried. “Just stop this and we’ll forget all about it. Right, Poe? It’ll be like this never happened.”

“But it is happening,” Finn insisted. “You are all just kidding yourselves if you think we can go back to the way it was. Even if I wanted to stay with the Resistance it would be futile! They are going to do what we want to do, but they will do it better!”

“That’s enough, Commander!” Poe yelled, his temper now flaring beyond anything Finn had ever experienced from the usually good-natured man.

“Yeah? Well may the Force be with you sorry lot…you’re going to need it!” Finn shouted back, his anger equaling, if not exceeding, Poe’s. He turned on his heel and began stomping to the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” Poe bellowed from behind him.

“I’m leaving this Force-forsaken icebox and my so-called friends on it!”

“No you’re not!”

Finn heard the familiar click of metal as Poe unholstered his blaster and switched off the safety. Finn turned around slowly to see the blaster aimed straight at his chest; Poe’s outstretched hand didn’t so much as flinch when Finn stared him down.

“What the hell are you doing?” Finn demanded.

“I’m protecting the Resistance. The same thing General Organa did when she tried to stop Rey…but I won’t fail like she did. You’re not leaving.” Poe tightened his grip on the blaster and fingered the trigger, daring Finn to oppose him.

For a brief moment Finn considered his options. He had not expected Poe, the first friend he had ever made, to threaten him with a blaster. But he knew it was just that: a threat. Finn was sure that Poe wouldn’t shoot him… _it’s just a bluff._ He also knew that he had launched himself into the same boat as Rey: if he didn’t flee now, then he would certainly be imprisoned or punished. He glanced once more at Rose, but she had her hands over her face and was sobbing softly into them. His heart hardened at the sight, but he knew what he needed to do. Taking a final sobering breath, he wheeled around and charged for the door. The distinct _pew_ of blaster fire sounded behind him and he dodged into the hallway just in time for bolt to explode against the wall. _He tried to shoot me_ , Finn marveled silently. He could hardly believe that Poe had actually tried to kill him, and yet it had happened. Quickening his pace, he sprinted out of the command station and into the snowy hell outside. This time, though, he barely felt the cold as he raced across the icy terrain and towards the hangar where his ship and pilot were waiting. _Or, where they better be waiting_ , he thought in panic.

He grabbed the comlink from his flight jacket and shouted frantically into it: “Rhodes, come in! Rhodes! Get the ship ready. I’ll be there in two minutes. Hurry!”

“Sir? Is everything oka─”

“Just get the damned ship ready!” Behind him, Finn could hear the muffled cries of his comrades as they chased him towards the hanger. Not wanting to imagine the consequences of being captured at this stage, he pushed himself to run faster than he’d ever run. He barreled into the hangar at full speed and found Rhodes in the pilot seat of their Y-wing preparing for take-off.

“Let’s go!” Finn shouted over the roar of the ship’s engine.

“Commander, what is going on? Why are you running?” Rhodes asked with more than a hint of concern in his voice.

“We don’t have time to waste. Get this bloody ship off the ground right now. That’s an order!”

Rhodes furrowed his brow in confusion, but nodded his assent. Finn jumped into the gunner’s seat and braced himself for take-off. Within seconds they were exiting the hangar and soaring ever higher into the sky. Finn scanned the ground wildly, searching for a sign of his pursuers; he finally spotted seven figures in the snowy field with their eyes to the sky. He watched in silent wonder – his mind a blur of apprehension, regret, and despair – as they faded into tiny dots on the landscape.


	17. The Masters

“Supreme Leader, your guests have arrived.” The words were tinted with the mechanical rasp typical of a stormtrooper’s helmet. Rey’s head swiveled around to seek the source of the intrusion, and she spotted a single trooper standing in the open doorway of the _Finalizer’s_ bridge. Her stomach flipped reflexively at the mention of Ben’s old title, but she didn’t let her unease show on her face. Dismantling the First Order would take time, and they were not yet ready to announce Ben’s disavowal of the rank of Supreme Leader. _Patience_ , she reminded herself for what may have been the hundredth time that day, but her thoughts were quickly interrupted by Ben’s deep voice from behind her.

“Show them in,” he commanded the trooper.

“Yes, sir.” The soldier beckoned to the ‘guests’ waiting in the hallway and two men entered the bridge. They were both clad in Resistance uniforms – one in a bright orange flight suit and the other in the olive and beige standard of officers – that were glaringly conspicuous in the black-and-white dominated Star Destroyer. Rey’s heart sank at the sight of Finn with only a pilot she’d never met. _Where are Poe and Chewie? Rose? Connix?_ She knew instantly that something was wrong. As if reading her mind, Ben dismissed the stormtrooper and sealed the blast door behind him so that they were alone with the two new arrivals.

“Finn,” Ben started, and Rey was surprised at the amount of concern in his voice, “what happened? Where are the others?”

Finn dropped his gaze to the floor and responded in a voice strained with emotion. “They wouldn’t come. They didn’t trust me…not even Rose.” He spoke as if to himself, and in that moment Rey’s heart ached for him. She knew all too well how it felt to be distrusted by the people you loved.

“What did they do? How’d you get away?” Ben continued prodding Finn, trying to understand the severity of the situation.

“Poe…he shot at me. He told me not to run but I did and…he tried to shoot me,” Finn responded, his voice hollow. “He missed, of course, but I didn’t think he’d really shoot.”

“I’m so sorry, Finn,” Rey whispered. “I’m sorry we dragged you into this. I thought you’d be able to convince them…”

“And who is this?” Ben interrupted, pointing impatiently towards the bearded young pilot next to Finn.

“This is Rhodes,” Finn replied indifferently.

“Does he speak?” Ben demanded with more than a hint of annoyance. Rey studied the man more closely and realized that she did recognize him; she’s seen him around the base on Dantooine and may have even spoken to him once or twice at mealtime. But now he looked pale and sickly – as if he had seen a ghost.

“I think he’s in shock,” Finn admitted sheepishly. “I explained everything to him on the way over…it’s a lot to process. I didn’t want to drag him into this, but I sure as hell couldn’t leave him behind…I’d still be sitting in the Resistance hangar trying to get the ship off the ground!”

Suddenly the pilot seemed to regain his senses, and he whipped his gaze back-and-forth between Rey and Ben. “I don’t really understand what’s going on, and I’m not sure that I want to,” he mumbled nervously. Turning to Finn, he added, “I really don’t feel comfortable…”

“You don’t feel _comfortable_?” Finn mocked angrily. “I was just blasted – literally – out of the Resistance by my best friend! So shut the hell up and go sit down somewhere!”

“Don’t mind him,” Rey said in a soothing tone to the pilot, “just grab a seat and hold tight until we can figure out what to do about you. It’s not as simple as just letting you stroll back to the Resistance, but we can’t hold you here against your will either.”

“Have you listened to a single word I’ve said?!” Finn yelled at her. “Poe tried to kill me! And no one stopped him. They would rather see us dead than working together!”

“Watch your tongue when you speak to her,” Ben warned with a shriveling glare.

“Or what?! You’ll kill me? It wouldn’t be the first time someone’s tried that today!”

“Calm down!” Rey shouted over Finn and Ben’s row. They had already lost their last opportunity to recruit their Resistance friends; the last thing they needed now was to fight among themselves. But the two stubborn men ignored her plea and continued bickering.

“We didn’t force you to join us!” Ben cried, completely devoid of sympathy for the ex-stormtrooper.

“Yeah? Well if I had known I’d be exiled from the Resistance and patronized by the _Supreme Leader_ I may have chosen differently!” Finn rebutted with obvious disdain for Ben, but his words struck Rey’s heart painfully.

“Finn…” she muttered hoarsely, “don’t say that.”

“Why not?” he asked seriously. “Maybe it’s true! You two had me believing that I’d be working towards some honorable cause, but instead I feel like _I’m_ the traitor for no good reason!”

“Let him sulk about it, Rey,” Ben groaned angrily. “You don’t need to waste your time convincing him that we’re right. If he doesn’t want to stay then let him crawl back to the Resistance on his hands and knees!”

“Don’t even─” Finn started, but was interrupted by Rhodes’ frightened voice from the corner.

“Uh, guys?”

Rey, Ben and Finn turned their attention towards Rhodes and saw that he was staring straight past them with a look of pure amazement. They whipped around to find the source of his consternation and there by the door were the ghostly images of four men and one…creature. Rey did a double take when she realized that one of the men was… _could it be_ …Master Luke. She couldn’t believe her eyes; she blinked hard to dispel the hallucination, but the phantasmic figures didn’t disappear. Rather, one of them – the small alien creature – spoke.

“Surprised to see us, are you?”

Rey and Ben glanced at each other with wide, incredulous eyes; Rey knew instantly from Ben’s expression that her suspicions were true: In their shared time together Ben had taught Rey as much as he knew about the Jedi Order and its powerful leaders…and unless she was mistaken, one of those leaders was in the room with them right now.

“Master Yoda,” she whispered in awe. Then she looked at Luke’s bluish, glowing image and added, “Master Luke. What is this?” For a moment Rey wondered if she was dreaming, but she disregarded that notion when she heard Finn’s awestruck sentiment:

“What in hell’s frozen Force is happening?!”

“Mhmm, colorful language I have not heard in a long time. Refreshing, it is,” Yoda croaked with a small, mirthful giggle.

“Let’s not be crude, Master Yoda,” Luke scolded, but a small smile danced on his lips. Rey studied Luke carefully and noted that he looked slightly younger – and better groomed – than when she had last seen him. _Maybe this is how he looked when he was training students at the Jedi Temple_ , Rey mused curiously.

“They’re Force ghosts,” Ben whispered down to Rey, breaking her out of her silent trance. She looked up into his face and saw her own fear and excitement mirrored there. “It mentions Force ghosts in one of the Jedi texts, remember?” Rey did remember, and she knew that he was right.

“Hello?!” Finn exclaimed with obvious anxiety. “Is anyone going to explain what’s happening here?”

“Oh, just the biweekly Jedi Council meeting; we’ve been looking for a new venue,” one of the other ghosts said. He wore a smile that lit up his handsome features and complemented his well-trimmed beard, and Rey guessed that he was slightly older than Ben…in his mid-thirties, maybe?

“Don’t play with them, Master; they’re already confused enough.” This time the speaker was much younger – the youngest of the group by far. He was strikingly attractive despite the small scar that bisected his right eyebrow, similar to the scar she had given Ben.

“Don’t be a stick in the mud, Anakin, I’m only easing the tension,” the older ghost responded cheerfully. _Anakin_. Rey started and exchanged yet another startled glance with Ben.

“Anakin Skywalker?” Ben said with ill-restrained wonderment.

“Wait, Anakin Skywalker? You mean _Darth Vader?_ What the hell?!” Finn cried in disbelief once again.

“Uh, yeah. Hey…kid?” Anakin spoke awkwardly to Ben. If it wasn’t weird enough to be visited by the ghost of your once-murderous-but-then-redeemed grandfather, it was made infinitely more bizarre by the fact that Anakin was a solid ten years younger than Ben. Their mind-numbing interaction was broken by yet another declaration from Rhodes.

“I’m very sorry to interrupt,” he said, rising from his seat and looking around uncomfortably, “but I really don’t think I’m included in this. I should probably just leave…”

“Who’s this guy?” Anakin asked with humorous confusion.

“Mind your graces, Anakin,” chided the final ghost. He looked about Luke’s age and half of his long hair was pulled back to reveal a chiseled face and short beard. “Any guest is a welcome guest.”

“It’s okay…I should go,” Rhodes mumbled and began for the door, but Finn blocked his way.

“The ghosty-thing said you could stay, so sit back down!” Finn shoved him lightly back towards the chair he had previously occupied.

“But I─”

“Shhhhh!” Finn shushed him loudly and Rhodes abruptly shut up and sank back into his seat. An awkward silence filled the room then, and Rey looked curiously at the two Force ghosts that she still didn’t recognize.

“I’m sorry but I don’t know who you are,” she admitted, looking back-and-forth between the middle-aged men.

“I apologize for my Masters,” Anakin responded before either man had a chance to speak up. “This is Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn.” He indicated the older men in turn.

“Anakin was Obi-Wan’s apprentice, and Obi-Wan was Qui-Gon’s apprentice,” Ben explained in a voice still filled with wonder. Rey recognized the names from stories Ben had told her; she suddenly blushed, realizing that she was in a room filled with many of the galaxy’s most renowned Jedi Masters.

“Ben…a great name, you know?” Obi-Wan winked at Ben, who glanced down at Rey with a confused expression.

“Don’t feel bad, Ben,” Luke said to Obi-Wan, speaking up for the first time since their arrival, “my nephew didn’t know his namesake was a Jedi legend.”

“Ben?” Ben repeated.

“Oh yes, I spent many lonely days on Tatooine as Old Ben Kenobi: Jedi Hermit extraordinaire,” Obi-Wan replied with a hearty chuckle at his own joke. Rey had obviously never known this fact about Ben either, and the sentimentality of it brought a tear to her eye.

“A lovely reunion, this is. But better spent, our time would be, explaining why we have barged in on our friends here,” Yoda announced loudly in his rasping, toad-like voice. Rey was yanked back to the reality of their situation, and the earlier fight with Ben and Finn flooded back into her mind.

“Yeah, I was wondering when that would come up,” Finn muttered, his voiced dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re right, Master Yoda.” A hush fell over the room as the ghost identified as Qui-Gon Jinn began speaking to Rey, Ben and Finn – and Rhodes, who was still glued to a chair in the background. “Living beyond death is not a simple task…years of study and practice are required to leave your Force imprint behind when you die. I learned such a skill many years ago, and I passed that skill on to my apprentice, who passed it to his apprentice, and so on. In this way we are able to observe the galaxy from an outsider’s vantage point, and we may appear to living beings in physical form if we so desire. That brings us to our intrusion today…”

“We have been watching you all for a long time.” It was Obi-Wan who spoke now. “Especially you, Rey.” Rey wasn’t sure how to take that news, so she stayed silent. “We all thought that you were the last hope for the Jedi Order. That you would be the one to bring the Force back into balance and train the new generation of Jedi.”

“And we were right, in a way,” Anakin added.

“Still to be seen, that is,” Yoda remarked pointedly.

“Let me get this straight,” said Finn, “you’ve been spying on us from some Forcy-observation deck and now you’re here to weigh in on the mess we’ve gotten ourselves into?” He looked around at the Force ghosts with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

“Yep, that’s pretty much it,” Obi-Wan confirmed merrily.

“A trouble-maker, Master Kenobi is.” Yoda looked disapprovingly at Obi-Wan, but Rey could see the amusement in his old, wrinkled eyes.

“We thought you could use the wisdom of a few old fools,” Luke stated with a wry smile.

“Watch who you’re calling ‘old’,” Anakin rebuked him.

“Just because you chose to materialize as your twenty year old self doesn’t mean you’re younger than me, _dad_!” Luke raised his eyebrows in a good-natured challenge and Anakin rolled his eyes.

“Hmph,” Yoda groaned, “why we never get anything done, this is.”

Rey watched in bewilderment as the Force ghosts continued bickering. Anakin Skywalker had betrayed his mentors and almost wrought the total eradication of the Jedi…Master Luke had given up hope and disavowed the Jedi Order…yet here they all were: arguing like a dysfunctional yet loving family. The absurdity of it made her lightheaded. One glance at Ben told her that he was just as speechless as she felt; his eyes bounced around between the apparitions and his mouth hung slightly ajar. Rey nudged him softly and he looked at her; she nodded at the still-squabbling men as an indication for him to speak up and get the conversation back on track. Sensing her agenda, Ben cleared his throat and addressed the ghosts.

“I’m sure your time is very valuable,” he began, though Rey wasn’t entirely sure that his words were true, “so maybe _one_ of you could expand upon your reason for visiting us? Are you here to give us advice or tell us to go to hell?”

Luke snorted at that, and Rey was sure he had thought about telling Ben to go to hell many times during his years of exile… _he may have even rehearsed the scene_ , she thought offhandedly. But when Luke spoke his words weren’t angry or hurt, they were sincere and emotional:

“When Rey told me she sensed light in you I thought she was crazy. She told me that you were the last hope we had of winning the war.” At Luke’s words, Ben’s eyes met Rey’s and he blushed a sweet shade of pink. “I drove her away from the island…wrote her off as lost. And then when you fought my Force projection on Crait I was sure that you were lost forever to the dark side. But I was wrong, and I am sorry. Rey was more intuitive and wise than I gave her credit for, and I was as narrow-minded and foolish as ever. She has brought out the light in you that only she could see, and it has morphed into something truly remarkable.” By the time he had finished speaking, Luke’s eyes were wet with tears and he smiled sadly at Ben and Rey in turn.

“I’m sorry too.” Ben returned his meaningful stare and then went silent; Rey sensed that he was trying hard not to become emotional. The heartfelt confessions were getting to Rey, too, and reminders of her grievances against Luke leached into her thoughts.

“And I’m sorry, Master Luke,” she blurted out. “For the way we left things…and for Leia…” Rey’s heart ached at the memories, but Luke’s face was warm when he turned to her.

“I know, Rey. There is nothing more you need to say.” Luke’s smile was like a brilliant beam of hope; it eased the weight on her shoulders and she was nearly overcome with emotion.

“Heart-warming, your reunion is,” Yoda mused aloud, interrupting Rey’s emotional moment. “But the point of our meeting, it still is not.”

“I feel lost here,” Finn announced in frustration. “Are you going to tell us that we’re doing the right thing? That we’re going to ‘bring balance to the Force’? Because my friends just tried to shoot me for being here, and that feels pretty damn terrible.”

“Ah yes, we were all a bit surprised by Admiral Dameron’s reaction to your news,” Qui-Gon stated.

“We were rooting for you,” Obi-Wan added helpfully.

“Seriously?” Finn responded in awe. “So what we’re doing here…you guys think it will work? I mean, actually ending the war and all that stuff.”

“Predict the future, we cannot. But place a few bets, perhaps.” Yoda giggled again in the froggy manner that Rey had already grown accustomed to. It was his words, not his unique laugh, that sent a shiver down her spine. _Master Yoda…_ the _Master Yoda…is betting on us!_ She could hardly believe her ears.

“You’re betting on _us_?” Ben repeated in a daze as if reading Rey’s mind.

“Some of us feel more strongly than others,” Anakin offered. “Personally, I think it’s a genius idea. Honoring the light _and_ the dark side of the Force by combining principles from the Jedi and the Sith. That is true balance.”

“Then again they walk a fine line between decency and corruption.” Qui-Gon pondered aloud.

“Without strict guidelines, the path to complete villainy is easy to follow,” Luke remarked, and based on Anakin’s reaction Rey could tell they’d had this argument countless times before.

“Yes, but the Jedi Code was outdated and overly strict. The path they are following gives them more freedom, but also more power to control the fate of the galaxy,” Anakin asserted with what Rey sensed was a note of pride.

“Decided on the issue, we are not. But hopeful for your future, we all are.” The small figure of Yoda added yet another nugget of wisdom to the conversation, and Rey’s heart soared at his encouraging words.

“The point is that we don’t approve of all of your decisions so far,” Qui-Gon started, but was interrupted by Obi-Wan.

“Like the First Order massacre…”

Rey’s stomach churned at the reminder of her and Ben’s slaughter a few days ago; Qui-Gon shot Obi-Wan a silencing glare and continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted.

“ _But_ , we have seen the same vision that you both saw many months ago. We believe that the future you foresaw is possible and even probable. Have you ever heard of the Gray Jedi?” When Rey, Ben and Finn shook their heads, Qui-Gon began explaining. “The term means different things to different people, but in essence the Gray Jedi utilized the light and dark sides of the Force in harmony…in other words, they didn’t succumb wholly to the dark side.”

“Many headaches they gave the High Council,” Yoda inserted, looking pointedly at Qui-Gon.

“Yes, yes…some Jedi reckoned I had Gray tendencies,” Qui-Gon admitted without shame, “but it was not my intention. I did not use the dark side of the Force. However, many powerful and virtuous Jedi have successfully walked this path since ancient times. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean it’s possible.”

“So Rey and Ben are Gray Jedi?” Finn asked; his prior irritation and confusion had been replaced by curiosity and reverence.

“Whether they choose to label themselves as such is up to them, but the principles they have established for themselves do align closely with the Gray Jedi concept,” Qui-Gon clarified.

“So what we’re doing has been attempted before?” Ben’s voice seemed a bit deflated, as if knowing others had tried it before made their efforts somehow less significant.

“Not on such a massive scale,” Obi-Wan responded.

“Then what makes you think we will be successful?” Rey asked softly, some of her previous confidence beginning to seep away.

“We have seen the potential that you two possess,” Luke stated matter-of-factly. “You and Ben may become the most powerful and influential Force-users in this room.” The Force ghosts all nodded in agreement at Luke’s words. “We have also seen the quality of the people you’ve begun to align yourselves with.” Luke indicated his head towards Finn, and Rey knew he was also referring to Maz. “And beyond that, this is the first time that the galaxy’s entire population of Force-wielders have been working together.”

“One thing we can all agree on is that if your hearts stay true to the best interest of the galaxy, then your Force vision will be completed,” Qui-Gon said warmly, smiling brightly at them.

Rey was once again stunned to silence by the faith of the Jedi legends in the room. _These men – some of the most powerful men to have ever lived – believe in us_ , she thought in amazement. _They think that Ben and I can really pull off what we saw in the vision_. A newfound confidence bloomed in her heart, and in that moment Rey felt invincible. She grinned up at Ben and he smiled back…a smile that melted her heart and set her world on fire. She wanted to kiss Ben and jump for joy with Finn and Luke…she even felt the desire to embrace the men she had just met: Yoda, Anakin, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, even Rhodes! She restrained herself in an attempt to look professional and composed, but her mind was running wild with the sheer enormity of it all.

“But a warning,” Qui-Gon added, as if foretelling a prophecy, and Rey was pulled unceremoniously out of her reverie. “Do not let your personal vanities and desires conflict with your plans. Maintain the balance within yourselves, and you will find it is easy to maintain balance in your new order.”

“I think I speak for all of us when I say that we will do everything in our power not to let you down,” Rey spoke boldly; she smiled when she glanced to her sides and found both Ben and Finn nodding their agreement.

“I bet Poe wishes he hadn’t shot at me now…” Finn muttered bitterly, but he smiled and laughed softly at himself.

“We will not be led astray,” Ben affirmed, grabbing Rey’s hand and squeezing it gently. She squeezed it back and grabbed Finn’s hand in her other one; thus the three of them stood, silently linked, staring at the wise and powerful Force ghosts.

“Alone, you three are not. Help you will receive from others, and have us, you still do,” Yoda declared kindly.

“You two know how to summon each other through the Force,” Qui-Gon told Rey and Ben. “Summoning us is almost identical. If you need us, we’ll be there.”

“Thank you,” Rey whispered gratefully. Those two simple words fell wildly short of expressing her gratitude, but it was all she could manage.

“Before you leave I need to ask you a question,” Ben stated – a bit too loudly – as he stared intensely at Anakin. The young Force ghost returned his gaze and nodded his head for Ben to continue. “Were you conflicted…I mean, when you were Darth Vader…did you struggle with the light?” Ben’s voice was thick with emotion, and Rey looked up to see his dark eyes blazing. She knew he must have pondered that question in his head for years, and he had probably never considered the fact that someday he’d be actually have an answer. But here it was…Rey looked over at Anakin and held her breath as the room waited for his response.

“I know the answer you want to hear is yes…but that would be a lie. When Padme – your grandmother – died, I became consumed with darkness. There was no light left in me. It wasn’t until I found out that my son had survived that doubt reentered my mind. And, well, you know the rest of the story.” Anakin spoke kindly to Ben, and Rey marveled at how grandfatherly he sounded despite looking barely older than she was.

“Oh…I see.” Ben’s voice quivered slightly and his face betrayed his disappointment. Rey knew he’d been hoping to hear that Anakin had always struggled with the light, just like Ben had. She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb in a feeble effort to soothe him.

“Struggling with the light doesn’t make you weak,” Anakin assured him. “You struggled because there were still people you loved on the light side. And even though Han and Leia are gone now, you have found an even stronger bond to hold on to.” Anakin smiled at Rey and she blushed a deep shade of red. “A bond so potent that it would endure even if one of you died, I think.”

“Mhm, possible indeed,” Yoda croaked.

“Don’t dwell on the past and on what happened to any other Jedi or Sith…there is no precedent for what is happening right now.” Anakin smiled at Ben; Rey looked up into his long, scarred face and saw a glimmer of hope there.

“All that matters is that the three of you have the courage to continue doing what needs to be done,” Obi-Wan declared with confidence. “Even if that means dodging bullets from the people you love!” He smirked pointedly at Finn, who gave him a reluctant yet sincere smile.

“Well, on that note…” Anakin said, rolling his eyes at Obi-Wan’s tactless attempt at humor.

“Honestly, Anakin…your years of conquering the galaxy really did a number on your sense of humor!” Obi-Wan chuckled once more at his own joke.

“And _your_ years as a recluse damaged your social aptitude, Master,” Anakin retorted light-heartedly.

“Don’t make me separate you two again,” Qui-Gon groaned.

“Hmm…time to leave you, I think,” Yoda said loudly over the other men’s bickering.

“Do you have to go so soon?” Rey asked, crestfallen at their impending departure. She had never imagined that someday she’d be conversing with the ghosts of five legendary Jedi Masters, and now that they were leaving she couldn’t bear the thought.

“You three have work to do,” Luke reminded her. “As charming as this conversation has been, it’s time for you to get back to the whole ‘saving the galaxy’ thing.”

Rey nodded her head as the tears began to flow down her cheeks. Luke smiled kindly at her and said, “Unfortunately hugging isn’t in the Force ghost repertoire, but I can assure you that you have no reason to cry. Take it from me: too much time in this life is wasted on sadness…be grateful for what you have and the people you have to share it with.”

Rey squeezed Ben and Finn’s hands again and smiled up at each of them in turn. “Thank you…all of you.” She met each ghosts’ gaze and committed their faces to memory…this was not a moment she wanted to forget.

“And thank you for including me,” Finn muttered appreciatively. “I know you didn’t have to, but it really helped put things into perspective for me.”

“I know we will see you again,” Ben said confidently.

“May the Force be with you,” Yoda said, bowing his head in respect.

“Goodbye, new friends,” added Qui-Gon.

“Good luck,” Anakin chimed in with sincerity.

“You were never very good at farewells,” Obi-Wan whispered teasingly to Anakin, though it was loud enough for everyone to hear. Anakin began to snap back, but they never got to hear what he said; before the third word was out of his mouth the Force ghosts disappeared.

Rey, Ben and Finn stared silently at the spot where the ghosts had only just been standing. Rey’s mind was running a mile a minute, trying desperately to process all of the information they had gathered in the past hour. Finn and Ben were similarly disposed, wracking their brains for the right words to express how they were feeling.

“That was interesting.” The voice came from behind them, in the corner, and Rey, Ben and Finn whipped around to gawk at the speaker. In the excitement they had completely forgotten about the fourth occupant in the room. Rhodes stared at them with raised eyebrows, clearly impressed by the show he had just witnessed.

“What the hell are you still doing here?” Finn asked him.

“You said─”

“Never mind,” Finn shook his head, deciding he didn’t really care.

Rey breathed heavily as adrenaline continued coursing through her veins; she looked around at the men in the room for a long moment before saying, “We should probably talk about what just happened…”

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

A single orange light flashed on the com-display; Ben Solo stood up and walked to the console. _She is late_. He had scheduled a virtual meeting with Maz Kanata at 19:00, but the clock in the corner of the display read 19:08. _Not a great start_ , he thought in annoyance as he flipped a switch to activate the hologram. At once the life-size blue image of Maz materialized in front of him.

“Afternoon, Maz,” he greeted her formally. After their emotional – and more than a little embarrassing – farewell on Takodana, Ben was unsure how to deal with the ancient woman. He knew that she despised him deeply because of his history as Kylo Ren, but she had also offered something of an olive branch last time they had spoken. Whether she would continue with the niceties or return to her usual cold disposition was anyone’s guess.

“Hello, Ben,” she responded. _Well, that seemed nice enough_ , he figured, hoping this meant she had given up her hostile attitude towards him. “Where’s Rey?”

“She fell asleep about an hour ago and I didn’t want to wake her,” he answered honestly. “The past few days have been hectic and I know she’s overworking herself…of course she’s too proud to admit it or take a break so…I’m giving her one.” Ben’s thoughts flitted to Rey and the recent insanity they’d experienced. It was almost a week ago now that the Force ghosts had appeared to them and turned their world’s upside-down. Though, he had to admit that the change had been overwhelmingly positive. It had strengthened their resolve enormously; Rey and Finn had been in high spirits ever since, and even Rhodes had taken to their cause with eagerness. And despite the awkwardness of meeting his grandfather and former idol, Anakin Skywalker, for the first time, Ben had also been left feeling more confident about their endeavors. The downside of their Force ghost encounter was that Rey was now more impassioned than ever to get things done…even if that meant missing meals, skipping out on sleep, and working herself half to death. Ben knew she would calm down once the pieces of their operation started coming together, but that didn’t stop him worrying about her.

“Well, she probably needs it.” Maz appraised him thoroughly and raised her eyebrows. “You don’t look too hot yourself.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted, though silently he wondered if Rey wasn’t the only one overworking herself. She eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t press the issue. “Actually, Maz, there is something I should tell you. Before we talk business, I mean. It’s going to sound crazy, but I swear it’s the truth. Rey, Finn and Rhodes were there, they’ll confirm it.”

“Who’s Rhodes?”

“Just some pilot…he doesn’t matter. The point is, what I’m about to tell you is true.”

“I think I already know what you’re going to say,” she said nonchalantly.

“I really don’t think─”

“Let me guess: you were visited by the Force ghosts of five deceased Jedi. Does that hit the mark?” She smirked at him smartly and he tried – and failed – to conceal his shock.

“How did you…?”

“They came to me, as well. I must admit it was a bit…surprising…but they explained everything.”

“Then I guess I don’t have to persuade you that I’m still sane,” Ben breathed, quite relieved.

“Well, I don’t know if ‘sane’ is the right word…” she joked with a smile. _Is Maz Kanata teasing me?_ he wondered; if anything, her playful attitude towards him was more startling than the fact that she already knew about the Force ghosts.

“Umm, sure…okay. Anyways…” he mumbled uncomfortably and then quickly redirected the conversation, “…since you already know about the ghosts, should we get straight to business?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” she replied, more seriously this time. “I spoke to nearly thirty-five friends and colleagues this week…I’ve been keeping very busy. The majority were sympathetic to your cause. I can’t take full credit for convincing them…it didn’t hurt to have the wisdom and support of five Jedi Masters to back me up. Twenty-six individuals have agreed to help, and they will be reaching out through their own networks to relay the message.”

“Twenty-six? That’s more than I’d hoped!” Ben exclaimed in excitement – an emotion he was still getting used to.

“You wanted the best in the business,” she stated smugly, “and you got it. They will be reporting to me by the end of the week with their number of recruits. I can’t guarantee anything, but I’m hoping for around two hundred in total.”

“That’s excellent. Rey will be very pleased,” Ben responded before remembering another piece of information that he wanted to tell her. “Oh, and we decided on a name. Well, it was Finn’s idea…he was inspired by the story that the Force ghosts told us about Gray Jedi. I think it’s a bit lame but Rey likes it: ‘The Gray Council’.”

“The Gray Council,” Maz repeated, testing out the name. “It has a certain ring to it.”

“So I’ve been told,” Ben muttered, recalling the exhausting back-and-forth he’d had with Rey and Finn about the name. But, though he hated to acknowledge it, the title was growing on him. “Each individual you recruit will become a temporary Member of the Emergency Gray Council. Eventually, once the novelty has died down and the First Order has been dissolved, we will hold planetary elections to establish a democratic foundation for permanent Membership.” Just saying those two sentences out loud nearly bored Ben into a coma…he couldn’t imagine being a part of the lawmaking committee. _I’m glad we have people like Maz to handle the tedious aspects of ruling the galaxy_ , he realized gratefully.

“Hmm…how very responsible,” she remarked with a smile. “This diplomacy thing suits you.”

“Yeah well I’d rather have a lightsaber in my hand,” he admitted matter-of-factly. She studied him with freakishly magnified eyes but said nothing; he hurriedly changed the subject. “And, um, the First Order operations are running smoothly so far. Forty percent of the troops have been removed from their posts; we’re working on setting up some rehabilitation camps in the outer rim to send the extra men. Right now we don’t really know what to do with them.”

“I may have some contacts on Ertegas and Ukio that may be of use to you. They’re nothing special…entirely agricultural…but I’m sure there is work enough to accommodate a portion of your men.”

“That would be very helpful, thank you,” Ben replied.

“I’ll send you their information in the morning. But for now I must get going. I have customers downstairs that will riot if I’m not there to kick off the usual Gabdorin drinking chants,” Maz explained in a normal tone, as if she was referring to an activity that everyone participated in on a daily basis.

“Uhh, sure,” Ben said, deciding it was best not to question her. “Thank you again for all of your help, Maz. I appreciate it and I know Rey does too.”

“You’re very welcome. Tell Rey and Finn I said hello, and you will be hearing from me again before you know it. Until next time.”

And with that she was gone. Ben shut off the console and checked the time; they had spoken for nearly an hour. He marveled briefly at how drastically his life had changed in the past year: he had gone from devoting his entire life to Snoke and the First Order to dissolving the First Order and hanging out with ex-Resistance members and Force ghosts. He shook his head to clear the baffling thoughts and started for the door. He wanted to find Finn and tell him all about the meeting with Maz. _I want to find Finn_ , he repeated to himself… _now_ that’s _surreal._


	18. Inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to post this chapter! My life has been a bit...let's say, hectic...for the past two weeks. As in, it's been completely turned upside-down. BUT life (and Reylo fanfic) must go on! I will do my best to get the next chapters out in a timely manner, but just bear with me and know that I'm trying :) Thanks for understanding and thanks for all the kudos and comments!!

Doors and passageways blurred past as Ben charged down the corridor towards the elevator. Every second he spent in the lift felt like an eternity, and no amount of mental encouragement could make it move faster. Time had slowed to a crawl ever since he’d made a decision and left the bridge; now he was headed for the officers’ quarters with only one thing on his mind: Rey.

Nearly four months had passed since Mos Eisley, where Rey had put the brakes on their physical relationship. _Four excruciatingly painful months_ , he recalled in frustration. They had agreed to forego a relationship so as to not distract themselves from the bigger picture. She had been right, of course; they had accomplished incredible things since then. Perhaps most importantly, the Emergency Gray Council had been formed and, with Maz Kanata at their head, had successfully composed the Gray Council Treatise, constituting the principles and by-laws of the new government. They were currently planning elections throughout all of the major star systems to elect the official Members, although Ben reckoned most of the faces on the Council would remain the same. Next and possibly more impressive, the First Order – and with it, Ben’s title of Supreme Leader – had been dissolved, and planetary occupation by stormtrooper armies had been reduced by sixty percent. Those still deployed were operating as part of a Transitional Galactic Army until Ben and Rey could convince the Council to fund the clone army to replace them. The troopers that had been removed from duty were being sent to various planets for rehabilitation, which mostly consisted of technical training or labor-intensive work experience. The rehabilitation camps weren’t mandatory but, as Rey kept reminding him, the ex-soldiers needed help if they wanted to integrate into society.

_That’s a hell of a lot to accomplish in four months_ , Ben mused. Things were starting to calm down now, and he figured it was time to end this stupid prohibition with Rey. Well, at least that’s what he had decided as he stared out the observation window of the _Finalizer’s_ bridge and into the bitter loneliness of space. But now, as he neared Rey’s sleeping quarters, his resolve started to weaken. _No_ , he reprimanded himself abruptly. _I’m going to talk to her and she will be glad that I did. What’s the worst that could happen?_ A sudden, dizzying image of Rey’s hauntingly beautiful green and blue saberstaff flashed before his eyes, but he dismissed the image immediately. _I’m not scared of her, and I’m doing this._

Ben looked up and, to his astonishment, found himself standing at Rey’s door with his balled fist suspended in the air, prepared to knock. With a deep, nerve-steeling breath, he pounded on the door and waited impatiently for it to open.

“Coming!” he heard Rey call softly from inside the room. Just the sound of her voice made his heart skip a beat, and he had to swallow the melon-sized lump that formed in his throat. The door swung open and Rey stood before him, looking as stunning as ever with that amazing grin plastered on her face. Her hair was down, not in its usual trio of buns, so he knew he had caught her as she was about to go to sleep. “Ben!” she greeted him cheerfully, though with a hint of confusion at his late and unexpected arrival.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I was just doing a bit of reading before bed.” She indicated over her shoulder and, sure enough, Ben saw one of the ancient Jedi texts spread open on her cot. “Come in!”

Ben stepped into her cramped living space and watched her hungrily as she closed the door and turned to face him. He couldn’t help but notice the way her pants hugged her ass when she walked, or the distractingly bare skin that was visible thanks to her low-cut sleeping shirt. He groaned in frustration for what he hoped was the last time.

“Rey, we need to talk.”

“What is it?” she asked, concern peppering her voice.

“It’s been almost four months since Mos Eisley,” he began, watching Rey’s cheeks grow pink as he spoke, “and I’m tired of putting this conversation off. I don’t want to stay away from you anymore. We’re ahead of schedule with our plans, we’ve all but ended the war already…isn’t that enough for now? I want to be with you…as more than what we are now. Don’t you still want that?”

“I do, Ben. Trust me! I’m just scared…what happens if we fail? We’ll be letting down the entire galaxy…I don’t want that to happen because I was too focused on you.” She spoke softly and kindly, but Ben could hear the seriousness behind her words. She really was terrified of failing.

“We’re not going to fail. I’m not going to let that happen, and I know for a fact that you’d die before that happened.” Smirking, he took a step closer to her and reached out to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “And Rey, being with you would not be a distraction anymore. I guarantee that it’s more effort for us to stay away from each other than it is to be together. Staying away from you has been hell…being with you would be effortless. Can’t you feel that?”

Rey smiled for the first time since Ben had started talking, and he wondered how he’d managed to live for so many years without that smile. “I feel it,” she admitted in a soft whisper. “I’m scared, but I feel it.”

Ben beamed down at her and grabbed her waist with both of his hands. He had almost forgotten how small and fragile she felt under his touch…a mighty deception, of course, as she was probably the strongest person in the galaxy. In that moment he was overcome with emotion for the formidable woman.

“I love you,” he breathed. He studied her face as his words registered in her mind, but to Ben’s amazement she didn’t look surprised.

“Don’t you think I know that?” she laughed up at him. “I love you too, Ben.”

Utterly baffled by her response, he was lost for words and could only summon the brainpower to grin stupidly down at her. She put her hands behind his neck and pulled his face down to meet hers. When their lips met, Ben was jolted out of his stupor and he responded eagerly. He snaked his fingers through her long hair and pressed his body against hers. His thoughts went wild as months of built-up desire reached an excruciating peak…in that moment he needed her more than he’d ever needed anything. As if reading his mind, Rey reached down and began fumbling with his shirt, trying desperately to pull it off of his heaving chest. Unable to wait even a second longer, Ben ripped his shirt the rest of the way off and, without missing a beat, removed Rey’s. Both shirts fell in a heap on the floor, completely forgotten.

Within minutes they were down to their underclothes, unable to prolong the process for their overwhelming longing for each other. As Ben removed Rey’s final pieces of clothing, she kissed his neck and moaned “I love you” softly against his throat. Ben closed his eyes and groaned, savoring the sweet sensation of her lips on his skin and the chills that radiated through his body at the words he had waited so long to hear. He ran a hand across her naked breast and she moaned in pleasure. Ben lifted Rey off the ground and onto the bed, sinking down on top of her and pressing her firmly to the bed with his body weight. Suddenly he felt himself lifted off of her and, before he knew it, he was on his back on the bed and Rey was on top of him; she smiled at him playfully, clearly pleased by her successful use of the Force. Ben gawked lustfully up at her; he felt not an ounce of emasculation at being overpowered, but instead was awed and attracted by her strength. _Now_ that _is a woman_ , he marveled as he stared up into her mischievous eyes.

She leaned down and kissed him deeply, wiping away any playfulness and replacing it with that undeniable lust he had become so accustomed to. He lost himself in her lips, in her body, in her presence. In that moment he couldn’t imagine his life any other way…he and Rey belonged together…he was sure of it. And he would let _nothing_ change that.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Heavy boots scuffed along the reflective walkway as Rey and Ben made their way to the bridge of the _Revolution_ – the new name for the First Order’s _Finalizer_ Star Destroyer. In the past two months the Gray Council had usurped control of the First Order’s fleet and resources, a move that had helped bolster their credibility throughout the galaxy. Between the success of their governmental sector and their intimidating new star fleet, the Gray Council had become a legitimate and recognized power, even among the largest planetary authorities. And only yesterday the Gray Council members had voted to fund the creation of a new clone army to replace the First Order troopers. Rey smiled to herself as she considered their success to date; _we are really doing this_ , she thought excitedly.

Cold leather brushed her hand, and she smiled up at Ben. She slid her hand into his gloved one and relished the burst of Force energy that fizzled between their connected bodies. They marched down the hallway hand-in-hand, neither one saying a word. No words were needed. Ever since the pair had jumped back into a physical relationship, they had become nearly inseparable. It had only been two months, but Rey could barely remember life any other way. Every day their connection grew stronger, and their shared attachment had elevated their power to something incredible. Rey felt invincible…like every ounce of her being that had been dormant was now ignited. It was incredibly empowering, and Rey was relishing each sweet moment.

They halted in front of the blast doors to the bridge and Rey breathed deeply to steel her nerves; since Rey and Ben had assumed control over the Gray Council, the ex-First Order officers had put her on something of a pedestal. She had never held a position of power, and she was exceedingly uncomfortable with the way the men and women regarded her with reverence and fear. She half-guessed that word of her murderous saberstaff had trickled down through the First Order ranks and snowballed into something of a myth. Swallowing her nerves, she let go of Ben’s hand, opened the blast door with a flick of her fingers, and stepped inside. Immediately the officers in the room stopped what they were doing and stood at attention; the room was filled with tense silence as Rey and Ben walked towards where Finn was standing on the far side of the room. Finn was the lone officer on the bridge that wasn’t in a state of awe or terror.

“Rey! Ben!” Finn beamed brightly when he saw them; he strode across the room and met them halfway. “What’s up?”

Rey glanced around uncomfortably at the many eyes that followed her movements, but she attempted to brush them off and focus on the matter at hand. “Hey Finn,” she greeted him warmly. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Sure,” he replied eagerly, but upon noticing their onlookers he added, “maybe in the hallway?”

“Good idea.” Rey nodded and started back towards the door.

“Back to work, officers,” Ben growled at the silent men and women around the room, who instantly scrambled to return to their previous tasks. Rey smiled to herself as she left the room; she could always count on Ben to say or do the things she was thinking.

When the trio finally found themselves alone in the hallway, Ben wasted no time in getting to the point of their meeting:

“This probably doesn’t come as a surprise,” he began, “but we wanted to talk to you about the clone army.”

“We got word from Maz yesterday that the Members agreed to commission the army,” Rey added with pride.

“That’s great!” Finn hollered, grabbing Rey and enveloping her in a bone-crushing hug. Rey blushed but was thankful that Ben didn’t move to interrupt the embrace…she knew he was slowly warming to Finn.

“We’re going to make the announcement to the troops today, and the Gray Council Members will be putting out an official declaration by the end of the week,” Ben explained over her shoulder.

Finn finally released Rey and stood staring between Rey and Ben with a monstrous smile plastered onto his face. “Wow…just wow!”

“The clone troopers will need two years to mature, so we still have time to sort things out and make the necessary preparations,” Rey stated.

“Two years? I thought the last clone army took ten years to mature?” Finn asked in confusion.

“The time to maturity can be altered,” Ben clarified patiently. “The original clones were commissioned as the main fighting force for an entire war…they underwent rigorous training for a decade to prepare. But our clones will simply be temporary peace keepers, therefore they won’t need the same intensity or duration of training. Our need is also more immediate than the last time. We thought two years was adequate time for the troopers to receive training in peacekeeping methods and still be mature soon enough for our purposes.”

Finn listened intently to Ben’s explanation and nodded in understanding when he finished. “That makes sense.” He paused for a moment, and when Rey and Ben remained silent, he added, “Why are you telling me this?”

Rey exchanged an enthusiastic glance with Ben before saying, “We want you to lead the army.”

“Wait, what?!” Finn exclaimed, shock evident on his face and in his unusually high-pitched voice. “You’re kidding me?”

“We couldn’t be more serious,” Ben said, barely containing a smirk. “You’re the best man for the job.”

Finn stared wide-eyed between Rey and Ben, suddenly lost for words.

“Well, what do you think?” Rey prodded, smiling broadly.

“I think he’s lost his mental faculties,” Ben noted with a touch of humor.

“I think you’re right…” Rey considered, laughing to herself. She knew Finn was going to be surprised, but she didn’t realize just how shocked he would be. Ever since she and Ben had begun discussing the specifics of the clone army, they had always imagined Finn at their head. Not just because that’s what they saw in their Force vision so many months ago, but also because Finn was one of their most trusted officers, and he knew intimately what it felt like to be a trooper himself. Not a clone trooper, of course, but a trooper nonetheless. Rey was sure that Finn would thrive in the position, so his initial astonishment at their offer didn’t distress her.

“I would be honored,” Finn whispered as his amazement wore off. “But are you sure about this? I mean, have you actually thought the whole thing out?”

Rey laughed out loud at his obvious self-doubt… _he doesn’t understand how valuable he is_ , she realized. “We didn’t really have to think about it, to be honest. You’re just the obvious and indisputable choice.”

“I’ve never lead an army before! I don’t know how!” he admitted anxiously.

“We will help you, alongside the officers that will be working under you. You’ll have more help than you know what to do with.” Ben smiled encouragingly at him, and Rey’s heart nearly melted at the show of affection. She had hoped against all hope that Ben and Finn would someday become friends, but she certainly hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly.

“I…I mean…well….yes! Of course I’ll do it!”

“I’m glad to hear that, _General_ ,” Rey said pointedly, and was smothered in yet another suffocating embrace. This time, though, Finn grabbed Ben’s arm and pulled him into their hug. Now the three of them were tangled together in a bizarre position, laughing heartily and smiling broadly…though Ben seemed more than a little uncomfortable. Rey was relieved that they were still alone in the hallway; she was sure that any onlookers would have been dumbfounded by the sight of their ex-Supreme Leader, his murderous mistress, and an ex-stormtrooper clinging to each other and bursting with hysterics. They finally calmed down enough to break apart and regain control of their senses.

“Now this position isn’t forever,” Ben clarified, quickly returning to business to hide his discomfort at their group hug. “The clone troopers will only be active for approximately five years. During that time we will be recruiting volunteer soldiers to join the Gray Council Force, that way when the clone troopers pass their prime we can slowly replace them with new soldiers.”

“Why recruit real soldiers when you can use clones instead?” Finn asked, confused by the latest information.

“The clone troopers are only meant to be transitory: to keep the peace while we are getting our act together in these first couple of years. We don’t have the money to create and train clones indefinitely, but we also don’t want to force individuals into the army like the First Order did. That would defeat the purpose of rehabilitating the stormtroopers…of course they can reenlist if they want to, but this time it will be their choice.” Ben spoke with dignity; he was clearly proud of the decisions that he and Rey had helped make for the Gray Council.

“By the time we start recruiting soldiers, we expect that the Gray Council will have gained favor in the majority of the star systems. With any luck, the Gray Council’s army will eventually consist of soldiers that are just as loyal as the Resistance’s fighters,” Rey said seriously, but her stomach flipped uneasily at the mention of the Resistance. She still felt guilty about the way she had left things with Poe, Chewie and the rest of her Resistance friends, but she also knew there was nothing that could be done about it now. _They made their decision, and we made ours_ , she reminded herself yet again. _No point in dwelling on that now_. She shook the negative thoughts away and sidestepped closer to Ben so that their arms touched lightly; even the smallest physical contact energized her and made her forget her momentary weakness.

“You guys really have it all figured out,” Finn remarked, ripping Rey from her thoughts.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Rey replied, “but we are tryin─”

“Excuse me, officers.” The interruption came from the doorway. Rey, Finn and Ben turned to see Rhodes – bright eyed and striking in a captain’s uniform – emerging from the bridge and staring at them with wide, anxious eyes.

“Yes, captain?” Ben asked him impatiently.

“There’s a message addressed to…well…” Rhodes was clearly nervous at having to deliver this news; Rey’s heart sank when she considered the possibilities.

“Speak up, Rhodes.” Ben was obviously annoyed.

Sure enough, Rey’s fears were confirmed when the scruffy pilot mumbled, “The message is from Admiral Dameron…it’s addressed to ‘Kylo Ren and friends’.”

“Poe?” Finn marveled. “What does he want?”

“He wants to meet. He mentioned a neutral location: the ruins of the old Rebellion Echo Base on Hoth. The message was vague, but it appears to be a call for peace.” Rhodes stared at Ben, waiting for his reaction. Rey wondered briefly if he was afraid of Ben…naturally most of the Resistance members would have heard the horror stories of Kylo Ren. She thought that the past couple months of working for the Gray Council would have soothed his mind, but perhaps some of that old fear still lingered.

Ben’s response was short and unemotional. In a soft, pensive voice he said, “I see. Thank you.” Turning to Rey, he added, “What’s our move?”


	19. Confrontation

“We’re ready to make the jump, Admiral.” The young woman stopped pressing buttons on the ship’s console and turned to look at the man seated next to her.

“Then let’s get going,” he responded, thrusting a large lever on the control panel. At once the stars outside blurred into streaks and the ship transitioned smoothly into hyperspace.

Poe sank back into his seat and nodded a brief “thank you” to his co-pilot. He was too lost in his own thoughts to speak, so instead he sat in silence. He breathed deeply to calm his anxiety, but no amount of relaxation could stop the pounding in his chest or the churning in his stomach. Every second in hyperspace brought them lightyears closer to Hoth, and to his old friends. Ever since Finn had abandoned them in favor of Rey and Kylo Ren, Poe had been torn between his love for his best friend and his loyalty to the Resistance. He had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat as he remembered the last time he’d seen Finn. Now the thoughts flooded unbidden into his mind. Finn had betrayed the Resistance just like Rey…the ex-stormtrooper had come to convince them to join the two traitors. Poe remembered the scene as if it had happened yesterday. He had threatening Finn with a blaster pointed at his chest…Finn had turned to run anyways. Poe recalled aiming just behind Finn’s sprinting figure so that the blaster bolt missed by a fraction of an inch. Of course Finn – and everyone else – assumed that Poe had missed his target, but Poe knew the truth. He had missed on purpose…when the time had come he couldn’t bring himself to shoot his best friend. The part of him that was fiercely loyal to the Resistance felt ashamed, but the part of him that loved Finn knew it was never a contest. But now…now what? _What exactly am I doing?_ he asked himself miserably.

Last week Poe had called a meeting with Rey, Finn and Kylo Ren – he knew good and well that they called themselves the Gray Council now, but he refused to call them by that name. After some deliberation they had agreed to meet him at a neutral location: Hoth. The icy planet, not far from Belsavis, that had once been home to a crucial base in the Rebellion’s war against the Empire. Poe had assured his old friends that this would be a peaceful, diplomatic encounter, and he hoped that it was true. But he had hid his true intentions from them…Poe did not plan on surrendering to the traitors. Not even close. He planned on accepting _their_ surrender.

The traitorous trio had agreed to come with only a single ship and a few trusted officers. Poe had promised them the same, of course, but it was one promise he intended to break. Finn, Rey and Kylo Ren would see him arrive on his ship, accompanied only by a small collection of officers and soldiers, but what they wouldn’t see would be their downfall. Over a hundred ground soldiers had arrived on Hoth yesterday and were waiting in the ruins of the old base wearing anti-thermal clothing to stay off the enemy’s scanners. With a single word Poe could have his old friends surrounded and imprisoned. He hoped it didn’t come to violence, but after months of deliberation he realized it was his only choice. He had watched from the sidelines as the so-called Gray Council grew to something of a substantial power in the galaxy. He’d seen intelligent leaders like Maz Kanata join their ranks, and he could stand it no longer. Whatever spell or influence Kylo Ren had over these people was about to end. The villainous snake had slithered his way into a powerful position, and Poe knew it would only end in blood. _Better to slice off the head of the snake than to watch it slowly drain the life out of everyone around it,_ Poe mused seriously. He knew how his actions would look to the galaxy…he knew people would call him a liar and a cheat. But he didn’t care. He was prepared to do whatever it took to stop Kylo Ren.

Soft beeping from the console brought Poe back to reality. He had known it would be a short trip, but time had passed eerily quickly. The immensity of his impending meeting hit him like a brick, sucking the air from his lungs. He coughed sharply and covered his face with his hand, careful to hide his momentary weakness from his co-pilot.

“Take us down to the surface,” he grunted at the woman as soon as he had composed himself. The ship slowed instantaneously and the co-pilot busied herself with the buttons and levers on the console. Poe stood up and made his way to the passenger compartment; he couldn’t bear to stay seated any longer.

“Are we there?” Connix asked as soon as he entered the room. Poe smiled weakly at her and nodded. Connix exchanged a nervous look with Rose, who was seated next to her. BB-8 beeped anxiously and rolled to Poe’s side.

“It’s okay, buddy,” Poe spoke kindly down to his mechanical friend. “Everything will be fine.” _Am I convincing him, or myself?_ he wondered silently.

Another series of concerned beeps erupted from the round droid; Poe patted his friend’s domed head affectionately but didn’t respond. He could only sound confident for so long before the cracks in his armor showed through. Chewie growled from the corner and Poe turned to look at the hairy gargantuan. A flame of guilt ignited in his stomach as he scanned the small crowd and saw the fear in their eyes. Poe hated the idea that he was dragging his friends into a potentially dangerous situation, but he was the Admiral now…the fate of the Resistance was in his hands, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to shy away from making the tough decisions.

“Here’s the deal, comrades,” he began, mustering as much authority as he could, “we’re going up against two of the strongest Force users this galaxy has ever seen. And we’re going to face people that we care about.” Poe spared a glance at Rose, but her gaze was fixed to the floor. He knew that she, more than anyone else, was hurting…she didn’t want to oppose Finn. But Poe also knew that Rose was willing to put her personal emotions aside to follow her beliefs. “But they made their choice, and now we’re making ours. The galaxy needs us…the galaxy isn’t strong enough to stand up for itself, but we can stand up for it. Our mission is, and has always been, to protect the galaxy. And that is exactly what we’re going to do. Are we all on the same page?”

A combination of nods, _yes sirs_ , and mechanical beeps answered his question. The floor beneath them shuddered, and Poe knew the ship had landed on the surface of Hoth. Buttoning his coat and securing a thick scarf around his neck, he called out a final piece of encouragement to his friends: “Stick together, watch each other’s backs, and don’t forget _why_ we are doing this.” After a long and tense pause he added, “Now prepare to move out!”

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Tension hovered like a storm cloud over the icy surface of Hoth. Three figures stood huddled together on the top of a snowy bank, peering out at the shuttle that had landed nearby. The trio was accompanied by a handful of Gray Council soldiers, all of whom were armed but at ease. Among the collection of guards were two Force users that had once been Knights of Ren, but had since disavowed their order in favor of the Gray Council. Also among the soldiers was a young, scruffy-looking pilot who was nearly paralyzed with fear at the impending encounter.

“What are they waiting for?” the soldier next to him whispered.

Rhodes shook his head in response and joined the man in staring across the snowy field at the Resistance shuttle. It had been nearly ten minutes since the transport had landed, and there was still no sign of Poe or the other Resistance members. The silence made Rhodes uneasy, but he followed the leaders’ example and hid his discomfort. Rey, Ben and Finn stood like statues a few feet away; Rhodes admired their courage and wished he felt as strong as they looked. He was dreading the thought of coming face-to-face with his old comrades…he desperately hoped that he didn’t see too many familiar faces among the crowd. Seeing old friends would only make this interaction harder than it already was. But no matter, he had made his decision many months ago to stay with the Gray Council. Hell, he had witnessed a bunch of dead Jedis endorsing their cause. So he knew he was on the right side of the war, but it didn’t stop him from worrying. He just hoped the Resistance kept their word and would agree to a peace treaty.

Whispers erupted from the soldiers around him. Ripping himself away from his own thoughts, Rhodes looked out and saw the door of the Resistance shuttle opening.

“At attention, soldiers,” Finn commanded the group. Rhodes and his fellow guardsmen straightened up and stood as still as they could, eyes fixed upon the Resistance members now filing out of the shuttle. There were nine in total, and Rhodes was relieved to see that none of his closest friends were among their ranks.

The Resistance clan made their way across the field, clearly not in any hurry. When they were close enough to see their faces, Rhodes noticed with another nauseating flip of his stomach that Poe wasn’t looking anyone in the eye. Something about Poe’s shifty mannerisms set off red flags in his mind, and he made a rash decision to act on his intuition.

Stepping close enough to the leaders so that only they could hear, Rhodes whispered, “I think this is a trap.”

Finn whipped his head around and gave Rhodes a look of incredulity, but Rey and Ben didn’t flinch. “We know,” Rey replied calmly, to which Finn gave yet another look of horror. Ben didn’t even acknowledge that Rhodes had spoken, but he tried not to take it personally. Feeling dismissed – and not to mention embarrassed by their lack of concern at his warning – Rhodes faded back into the crowd and stood at attention as the Resistance group assembled in front of them.

“Kylo Ren.” Poe growled the name as a greeting, staring straight into Ben’s eyes without hesitation. This was the second time Poe had faced the ex-First Order madman, and Rhodes was impressed by his lack of fear.

“Admiral Dameron,” Ben replied curtly, giving him a small nod and adding, “I prefer Ben.”

The muscle in Poe’s jaw clenched reflexively, reflecting his outrage at Ben’s words. But – luckily – he kept his feelings inside and turned instead to Rey and Finn in turn, greeting them with pursed lips and poorly concealed discomfort.

Rey gave him a strained smile and Finn said, ever so quietly, “Hey buddy.” Finn’s voice dripped with bitterness, but the pain underneath his words was palpable. Poe’s jaw muscle twitched again, but he otherwise ignored the colorful array of emotions behind his old friend’s greeting.

Much to Rhodes’ horror, Poe next turned his attention to him. He knew his wide eyes and pale face must have revealed his terror, but he stood up straighter, puffed his chest out, and narrowed his eyes…he wasn’t about to back down in the presence of his old commander, no matter how intimidating he was.

Speaking clearly, Poe said, “Lieutenant Rhodes. I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again.”

Summoning courage that he didn’t even know he possessed, Rhodes responded, “It’s Captain, now.” The two men glared at each other in tense silence for a long moment. Finally, and to Rhodes’ great relief, Ben interrupted their stare down.

“We came as you requested, prepared to establish a peace treaty that will be in the best interest of the galaxy. You can see that we’ve held up our end of the deal…have you held up yours?” The challenge in Ben’s words was undeniable. Representatives from both orders sucked in a collective breath and watched their leaders with unblinking eyes. Rhodes hadn’t expected Ben to be so blunt with the implication of misconduct, and he hoped Poe didn’t react out of indignation.

“The Resistance has always acted in the interest of the galaxy. And if what you say is true, then our objectives are complementary,” Poe announced coolly, avoiding Ben’s question.

“You asked us to bring no more than ten companions…for the sake of keeping the peace, of course. And yet you’ve failed to abide by your own rules.” Now the implication had become an accusation, plain and simple.

Poe narrowed his eyes but kept his voice even. “You must be seeing something that I’m not,” he lied.

“Don’t treat us like imbeciles, Poe,” Rey rebuked him. “We know you have soldiers hiding throughout the base, just waiting for your signal.”

“Is that true, Poe?” Finn asked, and Rhodes was briefly reminded of a heartbroken Ewok.

Poe muttered something into the comlink on his cuff before turning back to address Finn. “I told you: we are here to protect the galaxy. From whatever…or _whoever_ threatens it.”

“The Gray Council is just another incarnation of the Empire. Did you seriously think that we’d believe you were any _different_?” This time is was Rose that spoke up, her voice shrill and her eyes wet with tears.

“Rose, it’s not like that!” Finn protested. Clearly the feelings between them had not disappeared. “You must have heard of our accomplishments in the past six months! We are doing what the Resistance doesn’t have the man power or authority to do! If you all set aside your pride and joined us then you’d see that for yourselves!”

Chewbacca growled from next to Rose, but Rhodes could only detect the irritation, not the meaning, behind his roar.

At least one person understood him, though; Rey responded in a voice that was softer and kinder than anything Rhodes had witnessed from her before. “I’m sorry, Chewie. But listen to me…all of you…something happened that you wouldn’t believe. We’ve spoken to Master Luke and Anakin Skywalker…they came to us as Force ghosts with a few other powerful Jedi Masters. I know it sounds crazy, but they supported us. They could see that what we’re doing _is_ in the galaxy’s best interest. And if it’s good enough for them, it should be good enough for you.”

There were a few groans and exclamations of disbelief from the Resistance crowd. Sensing their skepticism, Finn jumped in to Rey’s defense. “It’s true! I was there, and so was Rhodes.” Rhodes’ heart skipped a beat and he silently hoped he didn’t have to speak up again. Finn continued, speaking more loudly and passionately now. “You don’t have to believe us right now, but give us a chance and we’ll prove it to you. We can devise an agreement that allows us to walk away from all of this as partners…think of how much more we could accomplish if we worked together!”

“Every word from your mouth sounds like a lie,” Poe spat at Finn. Visibly stung by Poe’s harsh sentiment, Finn didn’t have a response.

“There’s too much raw emotion involved in what should be a diplomatic meeting,” Ben interrupted, exasperated. “We didn’t come here to bicker, and we’re not going to get anywhere at this pace. So give us the truth: are you here to agree on peace terms?”

Poe shifted his gaze, almost imperceptibly, to a spot in the distance behind the Gray Council soldiers. Looking over his shoulder, Rhodes saw the objects of his distraction: Resistance soldiers. A lot of Resistance soldiers. All wearing white snow suits and holding blasters. As he scanned his surroundings, he realized with a sinking feeling that they were completely surrounded. Even the path back to their ship was blocked by at least a dozen men and women who didn’t look like they’d be moving any time soon. Rhodes knew that the Gray Council fleet was hovering in space not far from Hoth, but it would take them at least half an hour to arrive…that wasn’t nearly soon enough to save them if the Resistance decided to attack. Gasps and frightened whispers from around him indicated that he wasn’t the only guard to notice their newly escalated predicament.

“We’re here to _make_ peace…not to agree on terms.” Poe stared pointedly at Ben as he declared his true intentions, his eyes never glancing sideways at Rey, Finn or Rhodes. BB-8 beeped nervously at Poe’s heels, but the Admiral ignored him.

“For the safety of your soldiers, I advise you to reconsider,” Ben warned, fingering the lightsaber at his belt.

“In the name of the Resistance I command you to drop your weapons and forfeit your authority. The Gray Council will relinquish its soldiers, resources and fleet to us,” Poe announced threateningly, glancing around the crowd of Gray Council members.

“We’re not going to surrender,” Finn declared, taking a step forward to emphasize his sentiment.

In one swift movement Poe unholstered his blaster and pointed it straight at Finn, silently daring him to take another step. As if on cue, the Resistance fighters raised their own weapons and focused them on the small group of Gray Council members. Rhodes gulped as he looked around and saw a hundred blasters aimed straight at him and his comrades.

With a voice hardened by betrayal and devoid of the vibrancy that had once made it so irresistible, Admiral Poe delivered their sentence: “If you won’t relinquish your power, then you give me no other choice: you will either leave here as prisoners or you will not leave at all. There will be no mercy if you try to resist.” And with that, silence filled the bitterly cold air around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the continued patience! And don't worry, the next chapter will be out very soon :)


	20. Conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me..

“We’ve been here before, Dameron. You don’t want to play this game again,” Ben threatened him, not bothering to hide his wrath any longer.

“This isn’t a game to me, Ren. But if it were you’d be losing: you’re outnumbered by a hundred soldiers,” Poe spat back with rage easily equaling Ben’s.

“We are willing to die for our cause, just like you are willing to die for yours,” Rey said, attempting desperately to deescalate the situation. The last thing she wanted was a violent fight to break out…that wouldn’t help anyone. “But it doesn’t need to come to that. Let us go now and we can reconvene in a few months to work something out. Ben’s right: tempers are too high right now to act reasonably. There’s still a chance for peace.”

“There is no possibility of peace in an order run by Kylo Ren and a few Resistance traitors,” Poe yelled. Rey’s heart sank as she felt their hope of escaping this situation without violence shrinking…

“You’ll have to kill us before we surrender!” The irate words came from behind Rey, and she whipped around to see one of the Gray Council soldiers extracting a blaster from his holster and aiming it at Poe.

But he was too late…Poe had fired his own blaster before the man had even placed his finger on the trigger. Adrenaline sparked a fire in Rey’s gut; she reached out with the Force and deflected the blaster bolt, sending it sizzling into the snow at the soldier’s feet. A blood curdling scream ripped through the air, and Rey snapped back around to see Poe on his knees in the snow and blood flowing in thick sheets from the end of his arm… _but where did his arm end?_ With a nauseating realization she saw his hand, still clutching his blaster, laying a few feet away. The ghastly image was eerily juxtaposed with the fluffy white powder around it. Rey peeled her eyes away from the severed limb and stared, horror-stricken, at Ben. He was towering over Poe, red lightsaber in hand, looking as menacing as Rey had even seen him. She shivered involuntarily, and not because of the frigid temperature on the unforgiving planet.

The surrounding soldiers, Resistance and Gray Council alike, watched the scene unfold in a trance. No one spoke or moved, they simply stared at their howling leader, waiting for someone else to act first. Sensing their hesitance at the frightening reminder of Ben’s strength, Poe bellowed at his soldiers and friends to attack.

Broken from the spell of inaction, the Resistance soldiers began closing in on the small group of opponents, blocking off all of their exits. The Gray Council soldiers aimed their weapons at the approaching troops, but Poe had been right when he said that they were outnumbered. There were ten Resistance soldiers for each Gray Council one, and Rey feared for their lives. _What have we led them into?_ she wondered frantically. She knew that these men and women were exceptional soldiers, but they didn’t stand a chance against such an overwhelming force. She had pressed the transmitter beacon about ten minutes ago, alerting the fleet to their danger, but it would be another twenty minutes before they arrived…they might all be dead by then.

Rey noticed blazing red movement from the corner of her eye, and she turned to see Ben raising his lightsaber in the air, poised to strike at Poe. BB-8 whirred and beeped frantically at Poe’s side, distraught by his human’s imminent mortality, but Ben ignored the panicked droid.

“Call them off!” Ben yelled at Poe, hoping that the threat of his life would be enough to persuade him.

“Never!” Poe grunted between clenched teeth, gripping the remainder of his bloody arm in his other hand. Ben raised his saber even higher, preparing to kill the wounded Admiral.

“No!” Rey cried, running to intervene.

She grabbed his arm to stop him, but Ben twisted out of her grip and his lightsaber continued its downward arc towards Poe’s head. Chewie roared and, before Rey could even comprehend what was happening, aimed his bowcaster at Ben and fired. Ben stretched out with his free hand and deflected the fire, sending it straight back in its original direction. Chewie dodged the powerful beam but failed to notice the threat from Rey’s other side. Finn raised his blaster and fired in Chewie’s direction; the bolt hit its target in the center of his hairy stomach. Chewie doubled over and howled in agony. Finn stared at the wookiee’s wounded form, shocked by what he’d just done. Rey was equally dumbfounded, and she instinctively rushed towards her injured friend. But before she could reach the wailing figure, Chewie rose up and re-aimed his bowcaster, this time at Finn.

Rey watched the scene as if it was in slow motion. The brilliant red bolt erupted from the end of the bowcaster and Finn dove to the side, crashing into the snow and just barely avoiding what would have been instant death at such a close range. Rhodes rushed past her, blaster raised, and fired at the bleeding wookiee. This time, the bolt landed squarely in Chewie’s chest, knocking the monstrous creature off of his feet. A single growl – almost a whimper – escaped Chewie’s throat before his massive body collapsed in a lifeless heap on the ground.

“CHEWIE!” Rey’s high-pitched screech was the only sound that pierced the harrowing quiet. She charged past Rhodes and fell to her knees in the blood-spattered snow at Chewie’s side. Her heart ached at the needless death, and she couldn’t bear any more. Turning to face Poe with tear-streaked cheeks, she pleaded with him. “Poe, please. Call them off…you can stop all of this.”

Meeting her gaze with unwavering resolve, Poe grunted, “So can you.”

_He’d rather see us die than make peace_ , she realized in anguish. “Please.”

Poe’s eyes narrowed and his lip twitched into a snarl as he bellowed, “Get them!”  

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Chaos erupted.

Blaster fire exploded all around them, sending snow and chunks of ice into the air and creating a blizzard-like haze over the battlefield. Ben jumped into action, using his lightsaber to shield himself and the soldiers behind him from the flying bolts of plasma energy. He reflected the energy beams back into the crowd of Resistance fighters, hoping to take out as many opponents as he could while still protecting his own men. He shot a quick glance in Rey’s direction, worried for her safety in the current madness. He was relieved to see her doing the same thing: guarding the men and women behind her from the furious flurry of fire. The Gray Council soldiers were now crouched behind either Rey or Ben, firing out at the enemy from behind their human shields.

Ben knew it couldn’t last long this way…the Resistance soldiers would eventually kill him or Rey, and the rest would be easy pickings after that. He decided that their best defense was to play offense. Rushing out suddenly towards the enemy’s line, he took the soldiers unaware and sliced a dent in their ranks before they could react. Within minutes he had taken out at least twenty soldiers, but it wasn’t enough. A cursory scan of the field revealed that the situation was worsening. Two Gray Council soldiers were sprawled out in the snow, unmoving. Finn, Rhodes and the two ex-Knights were holding their own, fighting hand-to-hand and – _very impressively_ , Ben noted – using the Resistance’s immense numbers to their advantage, successfully shielding themselves from the majority of the blaster fire. The other two remaining Gray Council fighters were still stooped behind Rey, allowing her fierce saberstaff skills to protect them as they fired on the crowd.

Relying on his intuition and reflexes to slash through the opponents, Ben continued watching Rey out of the corner of his eye, too afraid for her safety to look away for long.

In the center of the field, Poe had slowly and shakily risen to his feet. No one paid him any mind, thinking him a non-entity in the bloody battle. His face was ghostly pale, drained of the blood that was now seeping from his severed forearm. He stumbled to where his detached hand lay in the snow and peeled the blaster from the frozen fingers. With his remaining hand, he fingered the trigger and lifted the blaster, scanning the crowd for a target.

Ben was so focused on his own battle and with watching Rey that he barely noticed the blood-soaked Admiral aiming his blaster into the mass of fighters. When he finally detected the enemy leader, it was too late. Poe was aiming his blaster at Rey’s back; she was engrossed in protecting her own soldiers…too absorbed in saving lives to realize that her own life was at risk.

Ben ceased fighting and charged across the battlefield towards Poe. He was still twenty feet away when he watched Poe pull the trigger. Time slowed to a painful crawl. The words “NO” formed on Ben’s lips, but whatever sound came out was drowned in the clamor of battle. The blood in his veins turned to ice as he witnessed the blaster bolt hit Rey in the back and send her crumpling forward to the ground. In that moment Ben’s world crashed down around him. Everything he loved in this world lived within the motionless figure now face-down in the snow. Rage like he had never known flowed through him, setting his bones on fire and turning his icy blood molten. The Force flowed through him and filled every cavity in his now hollow soul with immeasurable power. Reaching his arm straight out towards Poe, he clenched his fist and watched hungrily as the Force acted on Poe’s head, crushing his skull in a single, savage blow. A revolting _crunch_ echoed across the battlefield, ricocheting off of the fighting masses and burying itself deep inside Ben’s mind.

With a powerful sweep of his arms, the enemy blasters were ripped from their owners’ hands and soared into the air. Another flex of his fingers and the airborne blasters shattered into millions of pieces that fell in black showers upon the confused heads of the Resistance troops. The fighting halted immediately; all eyes turned to the two men at the center of it all.

Poe’s body lay in a gory heap on the ground, utterly unrecognizable. What remained of his head was brutally disfigured, and a sickly crimson goo oozed from what may have previously been his mouth, nose and ears. BB-8 circled his body, his robotic beeps clearly recognizable as anguished wailing. The round droid poked at Poe’s mangled corpse with metal rods and zaps of electricity, but the Admiral didn’t stir.

Ben bounded past Poe and flung himself at Rey’s body. He felt the very life draining from his limbs as he studied the gaping wound on her shoulder blade. The agony he felt in that moment leeched outward through the Force and latched onto every living being in the vicinity. Every soldier – Resistance and Gray Council alike – felt his grief, and they watched with bated breath and tearful eyes as he reached out and placed a shaking hand on her wounded shoulder.

But there was something there…Ben didn’t know what, exactly, but it was something. Where he had expected to feel rapidly cooling flesh and a void of Force energy, he instead felt warmth and a familiar tingling sensation. He flipped her, ever so gently, onto her back and stared down into her ashen face. Hardly daring to feel hope, Ben put both of his hands over her heart and closed his eyes, concentrating. A spark of hope seared through his body and electrified his heart. There is was again…that flicker of life.

“HELP ME!” he bellowed to someone…anyone. The remaining Gray Council members didn’t hesitate. Finn and Rhodes arrived at Ben’s side first; they both looked haggard, but were surging with adrenaline. “Rhodes, get her on the transport and to the _Revolution_! She needs medical attention!”

“What about the rest of you, sir?” Rhodes asked, clearly dubious about leaving his comrades behind.

“The fleet will be here soon. Just go! NOW!” Ben was beside himself with fear, but the small spark of hope had ignited a ferocity within him that wouldn’t give up. _She’s going to be okay_ , he assured himself. He watched Rhodes and one of the Knights carry Rey off to the shuttle. Wide-eyed Resistance soldiers hurried out of their way as they passed. With no weapons and no leader, the enemy fighters were lost.

Mournful whirs still emanated from BB-8, who had given up trying to resuscitate Poe and now sat next to him, domed head resting on Poe’s chest. Finn walked to Poe’s side and fell to his knees in the snow; fat tears rolled off of his nose and onto the mutilated corpse. An unspoken truce formed between droid and human as they shared in mutual grief for their fallen friend. Rose extracted herself from the crowd and moved to Chewie’s side; she stroked the hairy creature’s head as tears ran in rivulets down her cheeks. Ben observed them silently; his brain was too preoccupied with concern for Rey to process any other grief. But he couldn’t lose himself in worry…he knew what Rey would want him to do.

“Line up, soldiers!” Ben yelled at his men. Finn wiped his eyes on his sleeve and stood up, sniffing loudly, before making his way to where Ben stood. The ex-Knight that had assisted Rhodes was now back, and he joined his comrades in front of their leader. There were only six Gray Council members left, including Ben. He knew the fleet would be arriving any minute now, but they needed to get a handle on the situation as quickly as possible. “We need to divide the Resistance into groups of twelve – each of us can handle one group until the fleet arrives with reinforcements. Understood?”

“Yes sir,” they responded in unison.

Turning to the enemy troops, Ben bellowed in a deep voice that rang out across the icy plain. “The Gray Council fleet will be here at any moment. Do as my officers command and you will leave this planet unharmed.”

Finn and the four other soldiers got to work dividing the troops into manageable groups and guarding them with raised blaster rifles. Within two minutes Ben heard the approaching ships and looked up to see a dozen starfighters and a handful of transport shuttles speeding towards the planet’s surface. As soon as they touched down, Gray Council soldiers flooded from the ships and raced to help contain the Resistance troops. In no time the opponents were surrounded and being led off in groups to the transports. When the last of the groups had gone, Ben turned his attention to the stragglers still in the middle of the battlefield. Rose and Connix had carried the body of Chewbacca and laid it next to Poe’s; they were kneeling with BB-8 over their fallen friends, holding each other and sobbing quietly.

Finn made his way over to them and touched Rose gently on the shoulder. She jerked away from him violently and jumped to her feet.

“Don’t touch me, you traitor!” she screeched shrilly at him.

“Rose, please don’t. We didn’t want it to end like this…you know that. Please. I’m sorry.” He took a wary step towards her.

“Stay away from me!” she screamed, staggering backwards.

Two Gray Council soldiers ran over and grabbed Rose by her upper arms; a third man grabbed Connix and lifted her to her feet. BB-8 zapped the man’s shin with a blast of electricity, but a fourth guard arrived with a thick net that swallowed the droid and rendered it temporarily ineffective. The soldiers dragged their captives, kicking and screaming, away from the bloody corpses.

“How could you?!” Rose cried, craning her neck to glare at Finn as she was hauled past.

Finn lowered his eyes and turned his back on her; Ben’s heart briefly ached for his new friend, but his thoughts quickly returned to his own misery: _Rey_. He had to get back to her…Finn and the Gray Council could finalize the evacuation.

Sprinting to the nearest starfighter, he reassigned the pilot and hopped in the cockpit. Within seconds he was speeding off towards the _Revolution_ …towards Rey, who was just barely clinging on to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And one more chapter to go..


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally...the last chapter! I am so thankful to everyone that has read, liked, bookmarked, subscribed and commented on this fic. While writing this story I faced (and am still facing) some unexpectedly hard times and massive changes in my life. But having this fic and your feedback to turn to has been so therapeutic...like a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel. And I already have ideas for a new Reylo fic, so keep an eye out for that :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this conclusion to what has been a rollercoaster of a story!

_Clink clink clink_.

The distinctive sound traveled through the room, interrupting the excited conversations of at least a hundred guests. The lively clamor died down at once as all eyes turned to the source of the noise.

“Good evening,” a small, orange woman announced to the room. She was standing on her chair, yet she was only just visible above the sea of heads around her. Luckily, her booming voice left no question as to the identify of its owner. Maz Kanata stood on her tiptoes, chuckling softly, as she scanned the chamber.

The cavernous room was filled with a series of richly laid banquet tables and accompanying chairs, all of which were occupied by Gray Council members, soldiers, and honored supporters. Bright lights illuminated the chamber and glimmered off of the shiny plates and half-empty glasses. Maz was situated at the head table in the front of the room, accompanied by nine other Gray Council leaders. Among them were two ex-Knights of Ren, General Finn, Commander Rhodes, Ben Solo and Rey.

Rey looked sideways at Maz and smiled broadly; the old alien was the most unique person Rey had ever met, and she admired the hell out of her. And now, as she watched Maz teetering on her chair to peer around the room, Rey was overcome with affection for the peculiar woman.

“I want to begin by thanking you all for coming tonight. I apologize in advance for making you all sit still while I prattle on like a sentimental old woman, but after a thousand years of life I think I deserve some prattling.” Soft laughter issued from the crowd, but Maz simply smiled and continued on. “Tonight we have many reasons to celebrate, as you will hear from my friends later.” Maz gestured at Finn, Rey and Ben, all of whom were set to make announcements. Rey felt warmth creep up her neck and settle in her cheeks; she wasn’t in the practice of making grandiose speeches, and she certainly wasn’t looking forward to it. She tried to set those thoughts aside and focus instead on Maz’s words. “As the Head Member of the Gray Council I can honestly say, without any bias whatsoever,” she winked sarcastically as more laughter sounded, “that I’ve never seen a galactic order like this one. The Gray Council was founded upon powerful and revolutionary principles, and those principles have not wavered. By the tenacity of the Council, the valor of our military, and the guidance of my fellow leaders, we have successfully delivered on nearly every mission we’ve set out to accomplish.”

Maz paused while the crowd applauded. Underneath the head table, Rey’s hand was clasped in Ben’s. He squeezed it gently and gazed down at her with that irresistible smile and those deep, emotive eyes. Butterflies fluttered pleasantly in Rey’s stomach as she looked up into his handsome face and grinned back.

Ben leaned over and whispered quietly into Rey’s ear. “How are you doing?”

Rey nodded. She knew what he meant…he wanted to know if she was physically comfortable. Reflexively, she shrugged her left shoulder and felt the familiar dull pain there. It had been two years since she’d been shot on the icy plains of Hoth…since she’d flirted with death and nearly succumbed. The physical therapy had been agonizing at first, but as the weeks turned to months and the months to years, the pain had subsided and she was left with little more than a mundane ache. These days it only hurt when she was stationary for too long, but she didn’t mind the pain. It reminded her of the sacrifices she and her friends had made to get here…what they had lost along the way. And that was a burden she didn’t want to forget…

Rey’s ears perked up as a fresh wave of laughter erupted from the crowd, and she turned her attention back to Maz, who had clambered up onto the table and was now delivering her speech from amidst the shiny plates and utensils. Rey realized that she must have missed a real knee-slapper; the entire room gasped for breath as their laughter subsided. Even Ben was chuckling softly next to her, which was a rare occurrence. A particularly animated Klatooinian in the back of the room could be heard above the rest of the crowd, howling with laughter.

“Don’t encourage me, Drekk,” Maz called across the room to the hysterical alien.  

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Maz!” the Klatooinian shouted back, laughing heartily.

Rey grinned as she took in the scene. Despite missing the apparently hilarious joke, she couldn’t help but enjoy the sounds of pure joy that filled the chamber and echoed off of the walls. The galaxy had been drained of joy for so long, and its simplest form was now like music to her ears.

“Before I pass the torch to my comrades,” Maz continued, speaking over the dying clamor, “I would like to get serious for a moment.” The laughter stopped abruptly as the humans and humanoids fixed their respectful gazes on Maz. She cleared her throat before diving into her speech. “We are here to celebrate the Gray Council’s accomplishments, but none of this would have been possible without the people seated around this table.” She gestured around her to where Finn, Rey and Ben sat. “When I met Finn and Rey a few years ago, I saw two terrified children…both afraid to face the paths laid before them. When I look at both of them now I see strong, powerful allies that have wildly surpassed all expectations and managed to worm their way into this old woman’s heart.” Maz smiled down at them both, and Rey struggled to keep the tears at bay. After a long, meaningful pause, Maz turned to face Ben while addressing the whole room. “I have lost more friends in my lifetime than most of you have ever had. Of all the losses, two hit particularly hard. Han Solo and Leia Organa were singular beings…willing to sacrifice their very lives for what they believed.” Rey felt Ben squirm beside her, and she brushed the back of his hand with her thumb to help ease his discomfort as Maz plunged forward. “And I know that if Han and Leia were here tonight, they would be happy to believe in our cause. And they would be proud of their son, Ben Solo, who has shown his true colors in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Now, you all know that I never got around to having children of my own – thank the Force – but in Han and Leia’s absence tonight, I feel like a proud parent. So let’s raise a glass to the people who risked everything to be here tonight: Ben, Rey and Finn.”

Glasses were raised as a hundred voices chanted the three names in unison before drinking in their honor. Rey didn’t need to look at Ben to know that he was overwhelmed with emotion; she could feel it through the Force. Scooting her chair closer to him, she nuzzled into his side and leaned her head on his shoulder as Maz scrambled down from the table and returned to her seat. Ben draped a warm arm around Rey’s shoulders and kissed the hair on the top of her head. On her other side, Finn rose confidently to his feet and breathed deeply, preparing to deliver a speech of his own.

“Well, that’s not going to be easy to follow,” he joked in a self-deprecating manner, though his voice and posture presented nothing but smooth confidence. “For the few of you that don’t know me, I’m General Finn…I’m the guy that’s been training the clone troopers for the past few years. And I am proud to announce that, as of last week, the clone troopers have completed their maturation protocol. Tomorrow begins the deployment phase; within three weeks the troopers will be positioned at all of the galaxy’s major governmental facilities and trading posts to continue the post-war transition.” Finn paused, smiling broadly, as the crowd applauded enthusiastically. “It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride, but I am beyond confident in the ability of my soldiers. They have surpassed my every expectation, and they are exactly what the galaxy needs right now.”

More applause, and Finn was practically bursting with pride. “But I’m not just here to talk about the clone troopers. As many of you know, I wasn’t always a prestigious and strikingly handsome general…I actually started off as a lowly yet strikingly handsome stormtrooper.” He smirked sarcastically as the audience snickered. Rey smiled at her best friend’s sense of humor…he’d always had an endearing way of poking fun at himself. “Even worse than that, I was a stormtrooper janitor. I never imagined that one day I’d be leading an army for a cause I actually believe in. It was the luckiest day of my life when I ran from the First Order and straight into Rey. We weren’t exactly best friends from the start – in fact I distinctly remember her pummeling me with her staff. But she quickly became the most important person in my life…the first person I would have laid down my life to protect. So it made perfect sense that when she came to me with this idea, I didn’t really have a choice. I would have followed her into death, so by contrast this seemed simple. It wasn’t…not at all. Especially since she had partnered up with my first boss…the guy that tried to slice me in half not too long ago. But, with the help of some old friends – and some new friends, we pressed on. And somehow we ended up here. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that I am beyond grateful to be standing before you today as a leader of the Gray Council, and I am even more thankful for the people that I’m standing here with. None of this would have been possible without Rey and Ben…they challenged what they believed and ended up constructing the order that has brought peace to the galaxy. And now that I’ve embarrassed them thoroughly, I’ll invite them to stand up and deliver the news they’ve been waiting to share. So here are my two best friends, Rey and Ben.” Finn motioned for Rey and Ben to stand as the crowd cheered and applauded. Rey’s face had grown increasingly red throughout his speech, until it was a vibrant shade of scarlet. Finn’s kind words touched her heart and she felt a surge of fondness for her friend. Instinctively, she reached out to Ben through the Force and felt his familiar calm; using his strength to soothe her nerves, she swallowed the monstrous lump in her throat and got to her feet. She hugged Finn tightly before turning to face the crowd; her only comfort was the powerful man standing next to her.

“Erm, hello,” she began, her shaky voice betraying her anxiety. “I’m not used to giving speeches, so you’ll have to forgive me if it’s not as eloquent as Maz and Finn. I certainly never imagined that the vision Ben and I had would have led to all of this…” She scanned the crowd and took in the hundred eager faces watching her with interest. Ben rubbed her lower back gently, a soft encouragement. “I firstly want to say thank you to everyone in this room that believed in me…I’m not sure that I deserved your trust, but I am forever indebted to all of you. And I especially want to thank Finn and Maz, who helped transform this idea into a reality. And Ben…” she glanced up into his face and nearly lost herself in that pair of pretty eyes, “…no amount of words can express how grateful I am that you sacrificed everything to be here with me tonight.” Rey paused to will away the tears that threatened to spill; making a speech was bad enough…she certainly wasn’t going to cry in front of the whole room. “I don’t want to torture everyone by drawing this out, so I’ll get straight to business. This may not come as a surprise to many of you, but the rehabilitation camps have been successful beyond what we even hoped. The first wave of stormtroopers have graduated from the program and been transferred to permanent positions throughout the galaxy where they can attempt to lead normal lives. I’m also happy to report that nearly a fifth of the ex-troopers have reenlisted under the Gray Council, and will become the first voluntary soldiers in our newest army division, under the direction of Commander Rhodes.” Rhodes stood briefly to loud applause, proudly identifying himself.

Cursing silently, miserable thoughts flooded into Rey’s mind. She knew good and well that her old Resistance comrades had been divided and sent to the rehabilitation camps as an alternative to imprisonment; last she had heard, they weren’t having much success in the programs. The very thought left her stomach in knots…she tried to avoid thinking about it whenever possible, but sometimes the thoughts arrived mercilessly to haunt her. She could hardly bear to look back on that day…to remember the needless death of her friends. _They made their choices_ , she told herself for the millionth time, interrupting her own thoughts before they spiraled out of control. _Feel sad later…now’s not the time_ , she reprimanded herself silently.

Luckily, Rey didn’t have to wait long for a distraction. Ben straightened up next to her and began speaking in a clear, cool voice that exuded confidence and authority.

“Well, I won’t bother introducing myself, as I think all of you know who I am,” he started. “When Rey, Finn, Maz and I started the Gray Council, we had many plans laid out to bring some semblance of peace to the war-torn galaxy. As you’ve heard from them already, those plans were successful: the galaxy has entered into a period of prosperity that I hope lasts long after we’re all gone. And everyone in this room has found their place in that new galaxy…except for us.” He indicated between himself and Rey, who was still standing next to him. “Our role in this organization has played out, and there’s not much else that we feel we can contribute.” A few protests erupted from the crowd, but Ben only smiled and held up his hand to silence them. “We’ve been contemplating this for a long time, and we’ve come up with a solution. Rey and I will be opening up a school to train Force-sensitives.” A hush grew over the audience as they listened intently to the unexpected news. “Construction has already begun by a portion of the rehabilitated soldiers to restore Master Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Training Temple. There we will train a new generation of knights…not Jedi Knights and not Knights of Ren, but Gray Knights. Under our instruction, these new Force users will become the defenders of peace and balance in the galaxy.” The audience cheered and hooted, clearly excited about the prospect of more people like Rey and Ben to protect their order and the galaxy. “And don’t worry, we won’t be leaving the Gray Council completely; we’ll still be around to pick up the pieces when Finn and Rhodes eventually screw something up,” Ben added, smiling mischievously.

Rey let out an unintentional snort when she spotted the confused and embarrassed looks on Finn and Rhodes’ faces. Finn shook his head in exasperation and began laughing heartily as he slapped a still-mortified Rhodes on the back. Thanking the Force that their speeches were finished, Rey hurriedly sat down and was greeted by Finn’s warm arm around her shoulder. But Ben, she realized, wasn’t finished.

“Before I sit down and shut up so that we can finally eat, I have a few more words to say.” He paused for a long moment while the crowd waited in eager silence. “It wasn’t too long ago that I was on the other side of this war. And I’m not like Finn who was forced into a life of servitude…I chose that life…I _wanted_ that life. Until I met Rey. I don’t know why, but she gave me a chance when I hadn’t earned one. And because of her I’m sitting in a room full of people who have given me a chance. I still don’t deserve any of this, but each day that I’ve been with the Gray Council I’ve striven to be the type of man that does deserve it. And I will continue to do so until the day that I die, because _that_ is what the galaxy deserves. So let’s drink to the Gray Council, and to the incredible woman that made it happen: Rey.”

Glasses clinked as the Gray Council supporters sipped their drinks in honor of Rey.

Rey, however, simply gawked at Ben in silent wonder as he took a swig of his drink and eyed her seductively. She knew her cheeks were flushed with crimson heat, but she didn’t care. This man continued to impress her, and she loved him all the more for it.

“Now let’s eat!” he announced loudly, though his eyes never left Rey’s. He slid back into his seat and his hand found its way onto Rey’s upper thigh, where he squeezed gently. Blazing heat radiated from his hand, up to the apex of her thighs. Rey exhaled sharply, willing her face to stay impassive. Ben talked a lot about not deserving her, but in that moment, Rey wondered what she’d ever done to deserve him.

 

▪ ▪ ▪

 

Blue, green and red blades clashed in brilliant flashes of light as lightsaber met saberstaff. Ben and Rey spun, thrusted, dodged and lunged around the room, sabers slashing furiously. Ben watched Rey through narrowed eyes, using the Force to anticipate her next move. He managed to knock her off balance, but she turned the misstep into a side roll, regaining her footing a few feet away and shooting him a coquettish smirk. The blue and green blades of her saberstaff cast an eerie glow around the dim room, and Ben was momentarily distracted by her hauntingly beautiful silhouette. That one moment of hesitation was his downfall; Rey slashed at his blade with her saber while kicking out at his legs. In an instant Ben found himself prostrate on the cold floor, his deactivated saber lying yards away, and Rey’s saberstaff pinning him helplessly to the ground.

Rey smiled tauntingly down at him, pride etched across her face. Ben shook his head in feigned indignation, but internally he was aroused by how easily she had dominated him.

With a gloating smirk still plastered on her face, she offered him a sweaty hand. Ben shook off his hunger for his opponent and replaced it with a competitive hunger. He grabbed her proffered hand and leapt to his feet, shoving her shoulder playfully yet grinning dangerously. She smiled broadly in return and backed away, dropping down into a fighting stance. Without missing a beat, Ben summoned his saber to his hand and the pair eyed each other playfully before resuming the fight.

In a matter of minutes Ben had Rey on her knees before him, her deactivated saberstaff clutched in his gloved hand.

“It looks like you’re at _my_ mercy now,” he purred down to her. He caught a devious gleam in her eyes and, before he knew it, she had kicked his feet out from under him and his back hit the floor with a painful _thump_. She climbed on top of him and pinned his arms down with her legs, taunting him.

“What were you just saying?” she teased, giving him that sultry look that evoked an uncomfortable tightness in his trousers.

Ben responded with narrowed eyes and slightly raised eyebrows, and what he hoped was an enticing – and not laughable – expression. “I can think of a few other ways to have you at my mercy,” he said.

Rey groaned and leaned back, frustrated. “We have class in fifteen minutes….there’s not time.”

“I’ll be quick,” he assured her, watching a small smile play across her face.

“And if you’re not quick we’ll have ten kids walk in on us. The last thing we need is childhood trauma turning our apprentices into little Kylo Rens,” she joked as she started to rise.

The second his arm was free, Ben grabbed her wrist and flung her to the floor, scrambling on top of her and reversing their positions.

“I think we could use a few more Kylo Rens around here,” he quipped, smiling playfully despite a small voice in the back of his head telling him it wasn’t a joke.

Rey just rolled her eyes and said, “Make that joke again in five years, maybe.”

Ben grinned at her rebuttal and leaned down to kiss her. And then he kissed her more passionately, until that familiar feeling of need found its way back into the pit of his stomach. Breaking away from her, he gazed down into her enchanting hazel eyes.

Reaching up to gently stroke the scar on his cheek, she whispered “I love you, Ben.”

He wondered briefly if the vice grip she had on his heart would ever loosen, and he doubted it. _She’s mine,_ he thought. _My scavenger girl from Jakku_.


End file.
